Laughter of the Broken
by Danasca
Summary: DISCONTINUED INDEFINITELY.
1. Chapter 1

**Laughter of the Broken**

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Demon/Summons speaking"**

'_**Demon/Summons thinking'**_

It was a beautiful autumn day, yet the date was always a bittersweet one. The date was October 10th, the day of the Kyuubi no Kitsune attack. That day many shinobi and civilians died even the beloved fourth hokage, truly this date was on of mourning yet it was the same day that the Kyuubi was supposedly killed people celebrated by remembering those who died that day and celebrating the fox's 'death'.

Yet this is not true. The Kyuubi was a Bijuu; a creature made of living chakra, and therefore could not be killed by the same methods as mortals. No, instead the Fourth could only seal the chakra into the body of a newborn baby, but it came at the cost of the Hokage's own life. His last words asked that the boy be treated as a hero. The reinstated third hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, told the council of what happened to the fox and the fourth's dying wish hoping that they would honor it, but the fools of the council demanded that the child be killed. Dismayed at their acts, the third made it a law that no one of the younger generation was to know of the real fate of the Kyuubi and that whoever spoke about the fox bijuu would be tried for treason and executed.

The news spread through the village like wildfire and poor Naruto Uzumaki, Jinchuuriki to the Kyuubi, became the pariah of Konoha. Very few in the village saw Naruto as anything other than the demon reincarnate thus making the child's life a living hell. People would beat, insult, torture and even try to kill him on practically a daily basis.

Today was Naruto's birthday and the 6-year old boy absolutely hated it. On this day a mob, larger than all the others, would gather and hunt the 'demon brat'. Once they cornered the so-called demon they would all take turns stabbing, hitting and torturing the boy till he lost consciousness. Today seemed to be no different for the Uzumaki youth as he was once again cornered in an alley by a vicious mob.

The blonde boy curled himself into a tight ball. "Grab the boy!" screamed a voice and the next thing Naruto knew, he was being lifted into the air with a man grabbing his throat rather painfully. Suddenly the blonde was slammed into the wall while the man who held him had a sadistic grin on his face. The man drew a kunai and thrust it into the child's right hand, pinning his arm to the wall. The blonde screamed in pain as the process was repeated with his other arm. The boy was pinned to the wall, blood seeping from the holes in his hands. Next thing he knew the blonde was being stabbed, beaten and tortured by each villager. The only thing he could do was endure the pain as it came with no respite.

'_Why? Why do they do this to me?'_ though the blonde. The pain kept building more and more till the blonde was barely able to form coherent thought.

It was amazing how the blonde held onto his sanity; at least that's what it seemed on the outside.

Slowly but surely, Naruto's mind was starting to feel the strain of the trauma he had endured in his 6 years of life. Memories that had been repressed started to leak through as memories started to replay in vivid detail in front of Naruto's eyes. Every glare, harsh word, and beating flashed through his mind. All the while he could feel the pain, except now the pain was put a thousand times worse.

Naruto ceased feeling the blows on his body and weakly raised his head to see what had happened. A silver haired man walked forward dressed in a standard chuunin outfit. He pulled out a kunai and pointed it at the beaten and bloody Uzumaki. "Time to end this demon," stated the chuunin proudly. He was met with roars of approval.

"Kill the brat!"

"Run him through Mizuki!"

"Send the demon back to hell!"

Without hesitation, the man now identified as Mizuki plunged the weapon into the boy's heart, cruelly twisting the blade. What happened next was the last thing anyone expected.

It started out small, a mere silent giggling, and then it grew slowly till it was full blown laughter. This laughter had no happiness in it, no it was the laugh of those who had lost their mind, the laugh of the broken. Mizuki stared in horror at where the laughter was coming from, for it was coming from the mouth of Naruto Uzumaki.

Suddenly Naruto ripped his hands free, ignoring the kunais and stared at the terrified Mizuki whose hand was still on the kunai driven into Naruto's chest. The blonde grabbed Mizuki's hand and crushed his hand chuckling darkly as the haired nin howled in pain.

"Did that hurt?" giggled the boy darkly. His voice had a demonic sound to it. "What's wrong? Can't handle the pain?" mocked the demonic youth. With that he pulled the kunai out of his chest and proceeded to stab Mizuki in the chest repeatedly laughing like a mad man. He finally let go of the dead ninja and proceeded to stare at the other people.

The villagers stared in horror as the blonde stared at them with those dead blue eyes a sadistic and crazed gleam in them while he just smiled at them softly laughing to himself.

"Whats wrong? You all seemed so eager to kill me earlier," the blonde giggled. "Or are you just surprised that I'm fighting back?" he mocked.

"W-we ar-arnt sc-sc-scared of y-y-you," stammered a villager.

"Really? Because it looks like you want to piss yourself," laughed the child

"Shut up demon! Why don't you just die and leave the rest of us in peace!" shouted a villager, the mob started recover from their shock but once again their morale was shattered by Naruto's horrible laugh.

"I'm the demon? I'm a six-year-old child who is forced to endure the hatred of this village day in and day out who had no knowledge of what was inside me until just recently," roared the blonde clutching his sides in apparent mirth.

The villagers were horrified as sudden realization dawned on them. Some screamed and tried to run away only to find a wall of malevolent red chakra blocking their escape route. "Now where do you think you're going? The fun has just started," said an amused voice behind them. The air was rent with screams of horror and insane laughter.

The scene the Hokage and ANBU saw horrified them. The alley was bathed in blood and body parts. The hardened shinobi were horrified at the blood and guts they all could only stare in morbid fascination at the massacre around them. The one thought on everyone's mind was who could have done this?

Wading through the blood and guts they heard light snoring and moved towards the sound. What they found was one Naruto Uzumaki sleeping in a pool of blood and cuddling the severed limb of some poor villager with a smile on his young whiskered face. The hokage stared in horror, as did his ANBU.

"N-Naruto?" asked Sarutobi, while shaking the boy he considered a grandson awake. Slowly Naruto opened his eyes and gave the hokage an eerie smile. "Hey old man," he said happily, but the boy's eyes startled the hokage.

They were still the same blue, but they lacked their usual shine. Instead he saw all the pain and anguish the boy had hidden behind his happy mask, he also noticed the strange glint. Besides all of this Naruto's eyes looked dead to the old man.

"Naruto, what happened here?" asked the old man. He was worried about what had happened to his surrogate grandson. He shuddered at the sadistic smile that slowly overcame the boy's face.

"Don't worry Jiji, I just decided to have some fun," giggled the blonde. Everyone was shocked at his words.

"Naruto? You did this?" inquired the ancient shinobi. The next words that came out of Naruto's mouth made the hokage internally recoil from him, "Of course hokage sama, after all they did break your law," after he said this he gave a creepy smile to the old man.

"What do you mean Naruto?" asked the old man, fearing the blonde's reply.

The next four words made the hokage realize that the happy Naruto Uzumaki he used to know was dead. "I met my tenant," Naruto replied simply.

**A/N: Done! This is my first attempt at creating a... different Naruto. There have been stories about dark Narutos before but what about a crazed Naruto? What about a Naruto that was like the Joker? He won't be evil but he is going to be one sadistic son of a bitch. Remember to R&R and no, I'm not going to give Naruto a harem so don't bother with pairings because honestly, can you see Hinata having a crush on a kid described like Naruto is in this story? There is only one person who could actually be paired with Naruto is Anko so I'm gonna be altering ages a bit, maybe make Anko 16 and Naruto 14. Also I want to give Naruto an interesting summoning, so give me some ideas.**


	2. Midnight meeting and teams

**Laughter of the Broken**

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Demon/Summons speaking"**

'_**Demon/Summons thinking'**_

**A/N: Well folks, here's the second chapter but don't expect weekly updates or anything because I've got two other stories I'm writing. Anyway I've got three suggestions for a summons; Hyenas, Spiders, or Imps. Originally I was going to go with imps because first, they are evil little bastards and two, they come in all different kinds. Plus they laugh a lot like Naruto. Now though I want to see what you guys think.**

_**8 years later**_

Naruto was walking through the forest of death at around midnight. It was the only place Naruto felt truly at home since the incident 8 years ago. The forest was the scariest and most dangerous area in Konoha but he loved it. The place terrified people both during the day and even more so at night, he felt it represented his own social status perfectly.

The hokage had once offered to give Naruto an apartment but the boy had turned it down saying he preferred his home in the forest of death. When the hokage had heard this he had been terrified for the child's safety. Naruto chuckled at the memory.

_-Flashback-_

"Naruto, the forest of death is no place for a boy your age to be staying!" said the hokage firmly to the boy sitting in front of his desk.

"True hokage-sama, but I'm not your average child now am I?" the boy said an amused smile on his face as he stared at the old man.

The hokage had given an involuntary shudder at this, but he knew Naruto was right. Ever since that night, the happy blonde child had died and left this… thing behind. All the old man could do was nod and say that he would have ANBU check up on him twice a week until he became a genin.

_-End Flashback-_

The boy chuckled and resumed his walk through the forest. Currently he was walking along the forest floor smiling to him self. Someone was following him but the blonde had let her since he had known the girl also came to the forest as well. In fact he was surprised she had not found him before tonight. Suddenly the boy stopped in a clearing and stared at the moon.

The girl watched as the boy stopped and perched herself in a tree, evaluating the boy. Her target was wearing a grey t-shirt long black pants and black boots. Covering his entire body was a black trench coat and black goggles. His hair had long since lost its luster but not its spiky and wild shape. Now it was a grayish blonde that reached down and partially covered his eyes. His head-band had black cloth and the metal plate with the Konoha symbol signifying he was a shinobi.

"Come out girl, I know you are there," Naruto said in an eerie voice. He was staring right at her hiding spot with a wolfish smile on his face. "Come on, I won't bite," at this he chuckled to himself and said "Maybe,"

Naruto watched as the girl jumped out of her hiding place and stepped into the moonlight. She had purple hair tied into an odd ponytail and brown eyes. She was wearing mesh wire shirt and skimpy orange skirt that barely reached down to her mid thigh. She wore standard shinobi sandals with shin guards and a tan trench coat. On her forehead was her Konoha head-band, signifying she was a shinobi.

"Alright what the hell do you think you're doing in MY forest gaki?" asked the purple haired girl threateningly, hoping to scare the kid off.

"You're forest?" at this Naruto was giggling and slowly it turned into full-blown laughter, but this laughter scared the girl.

"Let me guess you're Anko Mitarashi, known to the shinobi as the snake mistress, the snake whore to the villagers and former apprentice to Orochimaru to all," stated the boy to the now identified Anko.

Furious Anko threw a kunai at the boy that grazed his cheek and caused him to bleed slightly. Immediately she appeared next to him and licked the blood off his cheek and said "You better be careful what you say, brat, or I might just have to kill you," she whispered into his ear, confident that she had succeeded in scaring the boy shitless.

Instead Naruto had the exact opposite reaction that Anko had desired. He laughed maniacally and grabbed the snake mistress by her throat. "I applaud you, Anko. Not only do you endure the hatred of those damned villagers but you actually have the gall to attack and threaten me," he praised. "You've earned my respect Anko, something only the hokage himself has," with this he let go of her and grinned at her as she fell flat on her butt.

Anko was both surprised and scared at the genin's strength. That was when she saw his eyes through his goggles. Those eyes, those dead blue eyes, stared at her with an insane glint. They were filled to the brim with anguish and pain. For the first time in years, Anko Mitarashi, was scared.

'_What the hell happened to him?'_ she thought. That was when she the six whisker marks on his face, three on each cheek, and realized who it was. "Y-You're Naruto Uzumaki, the container of the nine tailed fox," she stammered.

Naruto giggled insanely to himself at her fear. "You broke the third's law Anko, you're lucky I already know about the fox or the third would have been forced to kill one of his best interrogators," he said in a scary, happy voice.

"How do you know so much about me?" asked Anko in fear, not caring that she had broken the third's law.

"Honestly? You interest me Mitarashi-san. I look forward to meeting you again," the dead eyed boy said while walking off. "If you ever need some help interrogating someone or even getting back at someone come find me, and if you can't find me I'll find you," with that the blonde disappeared into the shadows of the forest, chuckling darkly.

Anko stood up shakily and headed towards the village. She needed a drink and badly. With that thought she leapt into the trees and headed for the nearest bar, intent on drinking herself till she forgot the entire event. Before she left the sound of broken laughter filled her ears and the image of dead blue eyes flashed across her mind. She shuddered and was just glad that she wasn't one of the people he seemed likely to kill in the near future.

_**The next day**_

Naruto was sitting in his seat at the academy waiting for his teacher, Iruka, to come in and announce the teams. As usual the grayish blonde was sitting in the middle row a chair away from Sasuke Uchiha, who as usual, was brooding and staring off into space with an angry look, not even acknowledging the fan-girls who were gazing at him with hearts in their eyes.

Naruto chuckled to himself. _'Those girls are either going to die on their first real mission or be sent straight back here for more training' _Naruto thought. The idea of them dying caused him to chuckle, ever since that day the idea of death and pain made Naruto laugh. People had always enjoyed watching him suffer so he figured that he had every right to do the same. Just then two girls burst into the room, the pink haired one screaming "I win! I get to sit next to Sasuke-kun!"

She then proceeded to march triumphantly up to where both Sasuke and Naruto were seated. She glared at Naruto with her arms crossed. Naruto ignored her, already knowing what she was about to do.

"Move it Naruto! I want to sit next to Sasuke-kun!' Sakura screeched. Immediately everyone in the room focused on the two. Every staring at Sakura was filled with pity, amazement, or just plain surprise. Many people left the black goggled boy alone due to his rather sadistic personality. Everyone knew that Naruto enjoyed inflicting pain both mentally and physically on anyone.

Naruto looked at Sakura with a cruel smile. "I will move, Sakura, if you can ask in a civilized manner, that is of course, if you're parents were able to get off their council asses long enough to teach you how to be civilized to other people," Naruto stated in a mocking tone. He was grinning at her in a crazed manner from ear to ear.

"C-could y-you p-p-please move so i-I ca-can sit ne-next to Sasuke-kun?" asked a terrified Sakura. Had Naruto been anyone else she would have slugged them for insulting her family, but she had heard the rumors of how he never slept, how he lived in a dark forest filled with monsters and how he killed people in the most horrible of ways, all the while laughing. She had heard the rumors about his parents, how they were demons that loved to bathe in the blood of their victims. Many had asked their parents bout the black clad youth and they had told their children to stay away from the "demon child", confirming that Naruto was not human, not entirely anyway.

"Good girl, now go ahead and sit next to Sasuke like a good little fan-girl and remember your manners next time," Naruto stated mockingly with a sweet smile on his face.

Sakura shuddered and quickly sat next to Sasuke. Naruto just grinned from ear to ear, glad that he had put the banshee in her place. Smirking Naruto went back to waiting for Iruka to show up.

"Alright everyone, settle down," said a scar nosed man in a standard chuunin outfit. "Now soon you will all be placed into teams and you're lives as shinobi will officially begin. I'm proud to have taught all of you," stated Iruka kindly. "Right then, on team 1 will be…" and with that Iruka started listing off the names of students and jounin senseis.

"On team7 will be Sasuke Uchiha," started Iruka while Sasuke looked at Iruka with interest.

"Sakura Haruno,"

"YES! TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL!" screamed the banshee pumping her arms in the air.

"And Naruto Uzumaki, your jounin sensei will be Kakashi Hatake," finished Iruka.

At this Sakura immediately stopped cheering and had a look of fear on her face. Sasuke seemed as uncaring as usual but he was sending nervous glances to his goggled teammate. Naruto just smiled. _'Well this may prove to be quite interesting'_ he chuckled at the thought.

Soon jounins started to appear and collect their teams. It was not long before only team 7 was left. Naruto had decided to catch some sleep, because he knew that Kakashi was at least two hours late to everything except for things he considered important. Apparently meeting his new team wasn't that important to him.

After two hours had passed. A silver haired nin with his headband covering his left eye, half his face covered by facemask and standard jounin attire appeared.

The man observed his new team lazily. _'Lets see I have the last Uchiha, his fan girl and…' _here his thoughts came to a screeching halt as he saw the final member of his team.

Naruto gave the man a smirk and a small wave. The simple action caused Kakashi to mentally shudder. "All right meet me on the roof for introductions," Kakashi said vanishing in a poof of smoke. Smiling his evil smile, Naruto headed for the roof, his teammates following behind him.

Soon all three were seated around their sensei who at the moment was leaning against the railing. "Right then, how about we get to know each other? Tell me about yourselves, your likes, dislikes, hobbies and dreams," stated Kakashi.

"Um how about you go first sensei?" asked Sakura nervously

"Fine, My name is Kakashi Hatake, my likes and dislikes are few and far between. My hobbies are my own and I don't feel like telling you about my dreams," Kakashi answered with an eye smile. Sasuke and Sakura sweatdropped and thought _'All we learned was his name'_ while their teammate just chuckled.

"You're up pinky," said Kakashi pointing at Sakura.

"My name is Sakura Haruno and I like…" she glances at Sasuke, "My hobbies are…" glances at Sasuke and blushes "Dreams for the future…" glances at Sasuke and squeals.

"Any dislikes?" Kakashi asked with a sweatdrop.

"Ino-pig!" Sakura shouted.

"Ok… your up emo boy," said Kakashi to Sasuke

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha, I have no likes and many dislikes. My hobbies are training and my dream, no; my ambition, is to kill a certain man," stated the black haired youth.

"Looks like you're up whiskers," stated Kakashi to the sadistic youth.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki, my likes include interrogations, torture, a certain snake, and laughing, my dislikes are people's ignorance, people who are too serious and sad people who whine about their lives. My hobbies include midnight strolls, gathering information and thinking up games," at the word 'games' everyone shuddered visibly, "my dream is to have fun and to die with a smile on my face," finished the boy with a manic smile.

'_So I have a brooding avenger, his fan-girl and a boy who's sanity is shaky at best with a love for causing pain'_ thought Kakashi with a sigh. "Right then, I want all of you to meet me at training ground 7 at 6:00 A.M for some survival training," Kakashi informed his students.

"But sensei we already did training in the academy," Sakura protested.

"Yes, but this time your opponent will be me and this training will determine if you will become genin," Kakashi sighed

"What? We already took the test to become genin!" Sakura screeched, clearly annoyed and confused.

"That test was made to weed out those had the potential and those who didn't. THIS test will determine if you will become genin and it has 66 percent failure rate, so remember, meet at training ground 7 at 6 and before I forget," here he paused for effect "Skip breakfast unless you want to puke," he finished with an eye smile.

Before his students could protest the masked man disappeared in a poof of smoke. Soon after Naruto stood up and left for his forest to prepare while Sakura and Sasuke watched him walk off they could have sworn they heard him saying something about "preparing for the fun that was sure to come" which made all of them shiver in fear. Just what was Naruto going to do tomorrow and what kind of tricks did he have up his sleeves? They could only wait for tomorrow and hope that whatever it was, their sensei would be in one piece.

**A/N: This is where I'm stopping. All right I'm going to put a poll up so you can vote on which summons you want, here are your choices.**

**Hyena**

**Spider**

**Imp**

**I'll be waiting so expect to see the new chapter up in about oh 3-4 weeks. The reason I say this is because I want to wait for enough votes and get enough time to put everything together.**


	3. Testing the Insane

**Laughter of the Broken**

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Demon/Summons speaking"**

'_**Demon/Summons thinking'**_

**A/N: Right then it seems that the hyena summons won in a land slide. After doing some research I found out that hyenas are regarded as beings of great evil and lust. In fact it is said that witches of African folk lore are said to turn into hyenas or are seen riding hyenas. Which gives me an idea. I may have to change this story into a harem. Anyway onto the test and you guys will get to see some of Naruto's skills. Also I will give Naruto a harem but just of three girls and I've already got them picked out, besides I want to try my hand at it.  
**Naruto walked into training ground 7 at 8:30 where he wasn't surprised to see that Kakashi had yet to arrive. Instead he saw both Sakura and Sasuke looking quite hungry and tired leaning against one of the three posts wearily. He grinned at this, he was quite happy to see both the Uchiha and his fan-girl looking quite miserable.

"You're late!" Sakura yelled at the grayish-blonde haired boy, though due to her lack of sleep and food she wasn't as loud as usual.

"Am I? Well better late than never, besides I don't see our sensei here so I don't think it really matters," Naruto said in a mocking voice. With that he proceeded to take out a weapon that nobody had seen before.

It was a purple revolver with a black handle that could hold up to six bullets. On the handle you could see the picture of a grinning red fox head with yellow eyes. The gun had been a gift from Kyuubi, or as he liked to call her Vixen-chan. Yes, the great and fearsome Kyuubi no Kitsune, was a female and quite a hot one at that. Naruto remembered the day he had met her.

_**-Flashback-**_

Naruto found himself inside of a filthy hallway that was lined with steel doors that had little slides in them that allowed someone to look inside. Each door represented a memory and the condition of the door represented the state of the memory. The entire place had the feel of an asylum to it, which Naruto absolutely loved.

He walked down the hall and stopped before a door that had torn and ragged piece of paper on it with the kanji for seal. The piece of paper seemed to deteriorate more and more every day. When Naruto had asked the Kyuubi had told him that the seal was breaking and half her chakra would be transferred to him when it finally did break. She had told him that nothing would happen to him physically and the only side effect was that she would no longer be in his mind, but she'd literally be bonded to Naruto for life. In every sense of the word Kyuubi was Naruto's mate, which actually made both of them quite happy. What made it even better was the fact that since Naruto would be half demon, he would be able to take on more than one mate, though the blonde said he only wanted three mates at the most.

Opening the door he looked in to find a room completely different from the rest of his mindscape. The room seemed to be made out of a dark mahogany with a red carpet floor. It contained a grand fireplace two recliner chairs and a king sized bed with satin sheets with matching mattress and black pillows. There was a bookshelf and what seemed to be a hanging flat screen T.V hanging over the fireplace. The T.V allowed Kyuubi to see and hear whatever Naruto did.

Sitting in one of the recliners was a woman wearing a black dress and a red sash with a slit going up the left side of the dress where it stopped at her mid thigh. She had slit pupils with red irises and long red hair that flowed to the small of her back. Her dress hugged her figure, showing off her beautiful curves and her double C-cup sized breasts, her nine flowing tails and fox ears only added to her beauty, making her seem like some exotic goddess.

"Hello Vixen-chan, enjoying your cell I hope?" smirked Naruto as he sat in the chair across from her.

She smirked at the boy, "Yes I am, and I have a surprise for you Naru-kun," she purred. She stood up and walked over to a chest at the foot of her bed and pulled out a revolver. She tossed the gun to the goggled boy, who caught it deftly in one hand.

Placing his goggles so they hung loosely around his neck, the Uzumaki proceeded to inspect the weapon closely. He cast an amused smirk at his mate and cocked an eyebrow.

"That, my little odokemono (joker) is a revolver pistol I made specifically for you," she said with a smile. "It works by placing one of these things," she pulled out a bullet, "inside the revolving chamber, adding some chakra and voila! Instant flying death or pain!" she smiled.

"Really?" he asked with an eager smile, the insane glint in his eye sparkling.

She nodded. "This thing can fire up to oh, say, 30 yards easy with just the smallest amount of chakra. Give it more chakra or a good dose of youki if you want to launch it farther," she said.

Naruto was giddy with excitement at his new toy. He couldn't wait to test it on some villagers who got to brave, or drunk. If he couldn't use villagers he'd settle for enemy ninjas.

"That's not the best part though," sang Kyuubi while taking the gun away. She pointed it at him and pulled the trigger. Instead of a bullet flying out of the gun out popped a little banner that said BANG! Naruto laughed insanely at this, he would definitely enjoy that feature. "Wait there's more!" she said. Naruto watched in eager anticipation as she pointed the gun at the wall and pulled the trigger again. The banner launched from the gun at high speeds and embedded itself in the wall with another banner coming out the back that said 'HA! HA! HA!'.

Naruto leaped out of his chair and kissed Kyuubi deeply before resurfacing with a pop. "Vixen-chan this is probably the best gift I've ever gotten from you, well, besides the sex of course," exclaimed the insane young man. Kyuubi had giggled at this. _'Soon Naruto… soon I'll be out of here and then we can really have some fun'_ thought the Kitsune with a sadistic grin.

_**-Flashback End-**_

Naruto laughed at the memory and how he had tested that gun. Some ways a way several men in wheelchairs shivered, the pain from when their kneecaps had been blown off seemed to resurface. Some of those men still couldn't sleep at night without hearing the laughter and the bang of the gun that had crippled them.

"Oi, what the hell are you laughing at creep?" asked Sasuke. Naruto glanced at the avenger and a slowly a vicious smile spread across his face. Threatening to split it in half.

"Oh nothing that concerns you," the blonde said. He was pointing his gun at imaginary targets, showing off the weapon to the Uchiha, wanting him to take the bait.

"What the hell is that weapon?" Sasuke demanded, curious about the strange item in the black clad boy's hands. _'Hook, line and sinker'_ thought the blonde.

"This? Oh this is just something that if Itachi had he could have eradicated your pathetic clan in half the time it took him," the sadistic boy said offhandedly. "You know in all honesty, I'm he left you alive, he probably wants you to avenge the clan or something like that, a complete and utter waste of time in my book," Naruto added, tapping the barrel against his chin in mock thought.

"Give me that weapon," snarled an enraged Sasuke. He was pissed that him, a lowly commoner and orphan to boot, would dare insult his clan and ambition like that. He wanted to take that weapon and kill both Naruto and Itachi. Something that powerful should belong to him.

"You want this weapon? Fine then but first let me show you how it works," Naruto said with sadistic glee. Quick as a whip Naruto fired off a round with a loud bang at Sasuke's head. The bullet lodged itself in the post behind a shocked and terrified Sasuke. The hole was mere inches from Sasuke's head and was still smoking.

"Now for a close range demonstration," Naruto giggled. Slowly he strode over to where Sasuke was sitting, leaking off killer intent as he went. When he was mere feet from Sasuke he lifted the barrel and pointed it right between the surviving Uchiha's head.

Sasuke wanted to scream, wanted to run, but he couldn't move. He was rooted to the spot in fear. Sakura was in a similar position. They both watched in terror as their teammate approached Sasuke slowly. In slow motion they watched as Naruto pulled the trigger.

Instead of the bang they expected, out popped a little banner with the word BANG! on it. When he saw this Sasuke did the one thing that most people did when they experienced something like this… he pissed himself.

Naruto laughed uproariously at his brooding teammates reaction. In his mind he heard his tenant laughing as well. Its not everyday you get to see one of the high and mighty Uchiha soil himself in fear.

This was the scene that Kakashi appeared on. He saw a terrified Sasuke and Sakura looked about ready to faint. He quickly concluded that Naruto was the cause of it. He sighed, _'If these guys pass then we're REALLY gonna have to work on teamwork'_ Kakashi thought. "Oi, Naruto stop scaring Sasuke and Sakura so we can start the test," the one eyed jounin said to the blonde.

"Whatever you say, Cyclops-sensei," Naruto said while putting his gun back in his trench coat. Kakashi sweatdropped at this, but shook it off and placed a timer on the middle stump.

"Right, your task is simple, all you have to do to pass is get one of these bells," he said pulling out two silver bells with a jingle. "Whoever doesn't have a bell by the time the buzzer goes off will fail and be sent back to the academy," said the jounin seriously.

Sakura and Sasuke tensed while Naruto smiled his sadistic smile again. Sakura then noticed something.

"But sensei there are only two bells!" she protested.

"Exactly, which means one of you will fail," Kakashi, stated simply. Sakura and Sasuke got determined looks while Naruto's grin grew wider. "Also if you want a bell come at me with the intent to kill," he said seriously "The test begins now." stated Kakashi.

Immediately Sasuke and Sakura vanished in blurs of speed, Naruto on the other hand just stayed where he was.

"Um, Naruto, you do realize the test has started?" asked Kakashi.

"Yup just wanted to gibe your hand a shake before we started in anticipation of a good fight," Naruto stated offering his hand with a giant smile on his face. Confused Kakashi shook the odd child's hand. Immediately lightning race all across Kakashi's body before said masked ninja exploded in a poof of smoke.

"Aw, it was only a clone?" Naruto said with a pout, "Ah well, all I have to do is just find the real one, but where oh where could he be?" Naruto said taking out his revolver. He tapped it against his chin lightly chuckling to himself.

Suddenly he turned around his gun pointed at a tree several yards away, "THERE YOU ARE!" he shouted and fired six youki infused bullets at the tree. He laughed insanely as he watched the tree explode in a fiery explosion. "Who knew Vixen-chan's youki would cause the bullets to explode on impact?" he laughed. He then stared at a very surprised Kakashi who had just appeared in the clearing.

"Ah there you are! And here I was thinking you'd left me all to my lonesome with no one to play with," Naruto said in a mock hurt voice. He laughed and attacked his sensei, covering the distance in the blink of an eye. "Now let the fun begin!" he shouted his fist aimed at Kakashi's head.

Quickly the silver haired man twisted his head to avoid the strike. _'Damn this kid is almost as fast as a low jounin! How the hell can he move so fast?' _then he remembered his student saying something about Vixen-chan's youki. His eyes widened slightly _'Is this kid using the fox's chakra?' _he thought panicked.

Naruto swept his leg at Kakashi aiming for his ribs but the jounin grabbed the boy's leg and threw him away. Naruto landed easily on his feet and laughed. "I must say Kakashi, you make quite a big bang," the blonde laughed. Before Kakashi could wonder what he was talking about several small balls leapt into the air. Each one had a smile on its face and the kanji for goodbye written in green on them. Without warning the bombs exploded, surrounding Kakashi in a fiery explosion and smoke.

"Hm, perhaps I went a little too far," Naruto giggled darkly. "Oh, well as long as one of the bells is intact I pass," he said with a laugh as he walked over to the explosion site.

Walking over he noticed that all that was there were the remains of a log and something that made Naruto grin. Stooping down he picked up his find and slipped them into one of his many hidden trench coat pockets. "Well, time to have some more fun," Naruto said cheerily.

Sakura had been watching the entire thing in fear. She had watched as Naruto destroyed the tree with that weapon. She saw how the goggled boy had attacked her sensei with a bloodthirsty grin. She saw Naruto's bombs go off and heard what he had said. She thought for sure her sensei was nothing more than a charred corpse. In all her life she could honestly say she had ever met someone as terrifying as Naruto Uzumaki, and she shuddered to think of meeting someone even scarier than her teammate.

Meanwhile, Sasuke had watched the entire fight in anger. He couldn't believe someone had that much power. He trained every single day to get stronger and yet here is some no clan freak that is stronger than him. He clenched his fists in frustration; he wanted that power, NEEDED, that power to beat Itachi. Sasuke Uchiha made a vow that he would figure out how Naruto got so strong and he would learn every one of the freak's techniques.

'_So Vixen-chan? Should we end this test already?' _Naruto mentally asked his tenant

"**Yeah you probably should otherwise your sensei,"** she spat the out the word sensei with contempt **"will just humiliate them and the buzzer will go off"** said the demon.

Naruto nodded and shouted for his hidden teammates. "Hey Pinky and Broody! Get out here!" he hollered with a smile. There was silence.

Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi were all thinking the same thing. _'What the hell is he doing?'_

Naruto sighed, he had tried to make them come out by asking nicely, but it seemed he'd have to do it the 'fun' way. Putting on his patented manic smile the blonde raised his gun and pointed at the forest where his teammates were hiding. "I'll count to three, and if you aren't out here before I finish counting, I'm going to splatter your insides all over the forest like confetti!" he cackled madly.

The reaction was instant, immediately both Sakura and Sasuke were standing in front of him. Sasuke looked angry but also afraid, he did not want this psycho shooting at him again. Sakura just decided to come out so Naruto didn't kill anyone.

"What do you want freak?" Sasuke demanded.

"Just wanted to give you guys a gift," the goggled boy said happily. With that he reached inside his trench coat and took out two silver bells with a flourish. Needles to say his teammates were stunned.

"How?" asked an amazed Sakura.

"The one eyed wonder probably dropped them when he switched himself with the log to escape my happy bombs," Naruto said with a grin. "The lazy fool probably didn't even notice he dropped them," the blonde giggled.

From his hiding place Kakashi could only sweatdrop at his student's words. _'Can you blame me? I know I said come at me with the intent to kill but I didn't actually think you'd nearly kill me!' _thought the jounin. He sighed and jumped to where his students were.

"So it seems you have both bells Naruto, what now?" asked Kakashi.

The boy smirked at his sensei. With a flick of his wrist he tossed the bells to his teammates and took up a battle stance.

"Those two can take the bells, I want to fight my way onto your team, after all I do owe you Inu-san" Naruto said mockingly. If someone could have seen the Uzumaki's eyes, they would have seen utter loathing mixed in with the other emotions of his dead blue eyes.

Surprised Kakashi decided to just pass the kids and ask his student how he knew his ANBU name. "Well, then I guess you… pass," the jounin said with an eye smile. Sasuke and Sakura were confused to say the least but Naruto wasn't. "You see this test was designed so that you would you would fight against each other when you need to work together to get a bell," explained the masked man in a hurry. He wanted to get rid of Sasuke and Sakura so he could question the blonde. "Naruto here showed excellent teamwork so because of him you all pass" Kakashi told them. "Now you are all dismissed meet here at 9 for missions, training and so on everyday from here on out," Kakashi informed them. "Now you are all dismissed except for you Naruto, I want to talk to you about something," stated Kakashi. Naruto grinned while his teammates left with very confused expressions.

Kakashi turned to the boy with a curious expression as he was about to speak he was interrupted by Naruto's laughter. "Let me guess you want to know how I know your ANBU name?" he asked. Kakashi nodded. "Trust me when I say it wasn't easy but I wanted to find the man who helped turn me into what I am today!" the blonde crowed.

Kakashi's eyes widened in surprise. _"What does he mean? I've never laid a finger on him!'_ he thought.

"Oh, don't worry I know full well you never harmed but I do know that you were supposed to be one of my bodyguards, funny how you never seemed able to stop the mobs," the blonde giggled. "Yet it's also amazing how I always saw you just sitting there watching the mobs nearly kill me," here the blonde grinned wolfishly.

Kakashi's eye widened and he mentally started to panic. It was true he had been sent to guard Naruto but the lazy nin had never felt compelled to help the boy, in fact until he saw that night eight years ago, he had resented the boy for having a part in taking his sensei's life. Of course he would never attack the boy but he wouldn't help either.

"You do realize if I were to tell the hokage about this you'd probably have your shinobi license revoked or perhaps you'd be forced to take on suicide missions for the rest of your life alone," taunted the boy. He was relishing in his sensei's obvious panic and could actually feel the small waves of fear coming off of him.

"Naruto, I want to apologize for what I did I didn't know-" Kakashi tried to apologize but was stopped by Naruto's howling laughter.

"Didn't know? DIDN"T KNOW! Oh that's rich! Fucking rich!" the blonde laughed. He tore off his goggles so Kakashi could see his eyes, "You saw how I was treated! You knew how much people hated me and you know full well the hell I went through!" he screamed at the silver haired man.

Kakashi stared in horror at the boy in front of him. Many say that the eyes are the windows to the soul and Kakashi could see that his soul was filled with pain and anguish. He also saw the utter contempt and insane gleam I those dead blue eyes. Those eyes coupled with that grin of utter insanity terrified him beyond anything he had ever seen, not even the stories of Orochimaru's experiments scared him this much.

"If you had done your god damned job I wouldn't be like this and you know it!" the blonde accused. "Though if not for your inactions I probably would have been trying to mask my pain by acting like a buffoon and I would be utterly oblivious to what I really am and a total weakling," the blonde told the man. "So Kakashi know this, I thank you for what you have done for me and hope the knowledge that you turned your sensei's son into the one thing he never wanted; a complete and total monster!" With that Naruto gave a shocked Kakashi a mcking bow and disappeared in a puff of purple smoke, the sound of his broken laughter echoing throughout the clearing and Kakashi's horrified mind.

Kakashi slumped to his knees and just stared off into the distance. He knew every word that Naruto had said was true. _'Sensei, Obito, Rin… I'm sorry' _Kakashi thought with shame, slowly Kakashi left the clearing and vowed he would try to make amends with Naruto, to try and make up for his creation of the _thing_ known as Naruto Uzumaki. He shivered as that dead laughter still rang in his ears, chilling him to the soul.

**A/N: Finished! A new installment in one of my more successful stories! Now then remember folks to R&R and for those who weren't satisfied with the fight do not worry Naruto shall come back and this time with some ninjutsu and a new weapon. Also we shall meet the hyenas next chapter as well as some interaction between Naruto and Anko.**


	4. Interrogation and Mission

**Laughter of the Broken**

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Demon/Summons speaking"**

'_**Demon/Summons thinking'**_

**A/N: Sheesh this story is getting more popular than I could imagine and no, Tayuya will not be the last member of the harem. Like I said I only want three people in this harem and the two that are definitely in are Anko and Kyuubi because seriously you can't have a psychotic, somewhat (and I use the term loosely) dark Naruto without the lovely female Kyuubi. Also please don't suggest a third member because I'm trying to work out some kinks with the one I want to put in, but if it doesn't work I'll put a poll up with some suggestions. Any who, on with the show!**

**Forest of Death**

Anko couldn't believe what she was doing. It was unheard of, unthinkable even! She was Anko Mitarashi for Kami's sake and yet here she was jumping around the forest of death searching for someone she knew nothing about except for one thing, he was one of the only people in the world she was afraid of.

She sighed in exhaustion and sat down on one of the thick branches of the many trees in the forest. She had searched all the places where he thought the guy might be but he was nowhere! It was like he just vanished into thin air! She sighed and thought about just giving up.

"Well, well what do we have here?" said a voice with an amused tone. Quickly Anko sprang into her serpent fist stance and looked for the voice. "Oh come now, my little hebi-chan, do you really believe you can hurt me? You can't even find me!" laughed the voice.

Anko was getting annoyed. "Alright show yourself you goggled son of a bitch!" she shouted. Suddenly she felt a presence behind her and turned quickly already throwing a punch at her target. She was surprised when the blonde boy actually bent so far backwards that the back of his head nearly touched his heels! And he didn't move anything but his upper body!

"A good punch, but next time try to be a little faster," Naruto commented while straightening up. As he straightened Anko looked and saw that where Naruto's feet should have been they disappeared into shadow, _her_ shadow to be correct.

Naruto followed her gaze and smirked. "Let me guess you want to know how I'm part of your shadow, right?" not bothering to wait for an answer he continued. "It's quite amazing really, due to my rather unique nature I can actually manipulate shadows and even travel through them," stated the blonde with a smirk "The only problem is that in order to use them effectively I need either complete darkness or large enough shadows or thousands of tiny shadows," the boy said in mock woe. He laughed not seconds after that, "But you can't have everything, because then life wouldn't be so god damn hilarious," chuckled the boy. His chuckle made Anko shiver, but whether out of fear or something else she couldn't tell.

"Now then, may I ask why you are searching for me?" asked the boy, stepping out of the shadow.

"Yeah, there's a guy down at the T&I that not even Ibiki can break," said the kunochi, putting on a smirk to hide her surprise that the boy knew she was looking for him. "He was caught stealing a weapon called the Raijin from a secret location and the bastard has not only hidden the weapon but refuses to tell us why he did it," Anko told the Uzumaki.

"So you thought that maybe I could succeed where your people have failed? Why not have Inoichi just probe his mind?" asked the blonde, a smile starting to form on his face.

"We tried but the bastard keeps throwing Inoichi out of his head before we can learn anything," Anko said in a frustrated tone.

"Well then lets go see what fun I can have with this guy!" Naruto proclaimed happily. With that he grabbed Anko by the wrist and dragged her with him into the shadows.

**Interrogation Room**

Ibiki was surprised when his partner Anko and a strange teenager with a black trench coat materialized in the room via the shadows. Anko turned towards her companion and shot him an annoyed glare.

"Never do that again!" she growled.

"Never do what again? Don't tell me you didn't enjoy the shadow travel, while it is creepy the experience itself is quite pleasant," grinned the blonde.

"Just tell me before you do something like that," she said heatedly. Ibiki noticed the pink hue that had appeared on her cheeks and wondered what had happened.

Anko had actually enjoyed traveling through the shadows though she would not tell the blonde that. She expected to feel cold and hopeless but instead the shadows had a peaceful feel. While they had moved through them she had felt how the shadows had caressed her body with a lover's touch, how every touch had sent shivers of pleasure through her body. When she had left she had felt how the shadows seemed to gently push her but lingered as if telling her to come back to them soon.

Ibiki coughed to get the two's attention. They turned to him to show they were listening.

"Right then, I'm to assume that you are the person Anko said could break this guy?" asked the imposing man to Naruto. Naruto grinned at this and shot Anko a glance.

"Yes, I believe I can break this person Ibiki my only request is that you do not interrupt, no matter what,' Naruto told the man with a sadistic grin.

"Fine but just know that you are not allowed to kill the prisoner," Ibiki said, a little unnerved by the smile. He opened the door to where the man was being held and handed Naruto a file on the prisoner. "I'll be watching, so remember, DON'T kill the prisoner kid,"

"Don't worry Ibiki-san, after all a corpse isn't nearly as much fun as a living person," with that the blonde slammed the door behind him, his laughter could be heard from the other side of the door.

Naruto grinned as he approached the man tied to the chair. The man had brown hair and a long scar on his forehead. His brown eyes glared defiantly at the blonde.

"Rokushou Aoi, Jounin of Konoha and found stealing Raijin, the legendary lightning sword," Naruto read out loud from the folder, his tone sounded… playful. "Now how about you tell me where the sword is?"

"If you think you can make me talk then you're wasting your time!" Aoi spat, a triumphant grin on his face. "Naruto got a sadistic grin on his face and threw the folder over his shoulder.

"Great! I was hoping you'd refuse to talk!" exclaimed the blonde happily pulling out a syringe filled with a purple liquid. "Its much more fun when you decide not to talk! That way I get to hear you scream," he chuckled darkly. With that he plunged the syringe into Aoi's neck and injected the serum.

Aoi grunted in pain as he felt all of his muscles start to tighten and stretch in ways that were painful. Slowly his face tightened to the point it looked like he was wearing a giant grin with his eyes stretched wide open. "What the hell did you do to me?" Aoi said through clenched teeth.

"That my friend is a special serum I've created that completely tightens the muscles of the body to the point it hurts, hell right now you are little better than a bowstring ready to snap from strain," explained the blonde pressing down on Aoi's fingers straightened fingers causing them to curl painfully. Aoi wanted to scream in protest but all that came out was a gurgled cry. "If I didn't know better I'd say you were in pain but that smile on your face says otherwise," Naruto giggled cruelly.

"Hmm, you know what? if you want the pain to stop just yell Kitsune, but if you yell Kitsune then you have to tell me where the blade is, agreed?" Naruto said curling one of Aoi's fingers again. The man gave another gurgled scream but glared at the teen in defiance. "Oh good! Now lets see the serum should last for another hour so that gives me plenty of time for me to milk this type of torture then move on to more to more fun!" the blonde said clapping his hands and removing his goggles.

Aoi looked at the blonde in fear. He saw the sadistic smile, the insane glint in those dead blue eyes but what's more he saw the three whisk marks on each cheek.

"Oh ho, so you recognize me? I was actually quite pleased that I would be able to pay someone back for the kindness they showed me oh so many years ago!" Naruto said in a delighted voice, giving Aoi a look that promised pain and suffering and the blonde would enjoy every second of it. "Remember the word is Kitsune but please remember to say it as loud as you can because I've been having trouble hearing lately," he giggled insanely.

That look and that giggle did it for Aoi. He didn't want to be anywhere near this insane child. "KISUNE! KITSUNE! FOR THE LOVE OF KAMI, KITSUNE!" screamed the man as best as he could. Tears were running down his eyes as his eyes rolled in fear. "I hid the blade inside of an abandoned shack in the forest near the memorial stone!" he shouted, the paralyzing effects seemed to have worn off and the man was now thrashing desperately to get away from Naruto.

The blonde just smirked and left.

Anko and Ibiki could not believe what they had seen; here was a genin that had just broken a jounin in no less than twenty minutes! Ibiki was impressed while Anko was both impressed and somewhat in awe of the boy. Said boy walked up to them and gave both ninja a wolfish smile.

"I must admit, I thoroughly enjoyed myself," stated the blonde snapping the two back to reality. "If you need help then here's my card and you know where to find me Anko," stated the boy tossing Ibiki a card.

The man caught the card and was slightly confused at it. It was a regular playing card, a joker to be exact. The odd thing about it though was that on the back of the card was the kanji for fox in green ink. Looking up, he saw that Naruto was gone and a single purple rose was left with a note.

Curious Anko picked up the rose and found it was addressed to her. The message read "Till next time, my hebi-hime," Anko quickly hid the flower before Ibiki could see.

"So what did the flower say?" Ibiki asked.

"Nothing, lets just get this guy back to his cell and report to the hokage," Anko said quickly, avoiding eye contact with her partner. Confused, Ibiki just shrugged and went inside to retrieve the whimpering Aoi.

**Next day**

Kakashi sat in a tree observing the target his team had been ordered to retrieve… again. This was the third time today and the team was getting tired of it. He sighed and was just about to contact his team when something happened.

Out from the foliage burst some kind of giant dog with brown fur and black spots. The dog was about the size of a pony but had double the bulk. Sitting astride this behemoth was none other than Naruto Uzumaki.

"TIME TO DIE YOU HAIRY BASTARD!" yelled the blonde with a giant smile. The hairy bastard in question dashed off into the forest in pure fear. Naruto just laughed "Shonzi! Lunch time!" with that the hyena gave a barking laugh and raced after its pray.

Kakashi quickly raced after the two with Sasuke and Sakura right behind him. "I thought he was joking when he said he was going to feed that cat to his hyena!" Sakura yelled, both annoyed and terrified.

"Lets just hope Naruto remembers not to kill Tora," Kakashi stated lazily. _'Though in all honesty I wish that cat would die already'_ thought the silver haired man. Sasuke seemed to be thinking the same thing.

The team quickly found Naruto and his hyena, Shonzi, inside a clearing, but there was no sign of the cat Tora. Naruto was leaning against the beast's side with a very satisfied smirk on his face. The hyena also seemed satisfied and was picking its teeth with its claws.

"Naruto," Kakashi started slowly, "Where's Tora?" he asked fearing the worst.

Naruto grinned, "If you're wondering where that fur ball is, she's not dead," here he giggled, "yet of course,"

"Then where is it dobe?" Sasuke demanded. Shonzi growled at the Uchiha but Naruto waved him down.

"Shonzi ate her, and we've got about 30 minutes till the cat is digested, after that we wait for nature's call," Naruto stated happily, giving Shonzi a scratch behind his ears. Sakura looked horrified, Sasuke seemed disgusted and Kakashi was impassive as always.

"Well then lets get moving, the Hokage's office is a good 10 minutes away and I'm sure Tora could very well die of suffocation or fright as easily as digestion," Kakashi said with an eye smile. Kakashi then turned to leave when he heard an audible gasp from Sakura. He looked to see she was pointing at where Naruto was. He turned to see Naruto and his hyena were gone, with only a few tendrils of shadow showing where they had been.

Kakashi sensed for around for Naruto's chakra signature but he couldn't sense him anywhere. His eye widened in realization that Naruto must have used some sort of shushin technique. _'Where on earth did he learn that technique?'_ thought Kakashi. Once again Sasuke seemed to be thinking the same thing but he had a very annoyed expression on his face.

**Hokage tower, mission room**

The hokage was staring at the blonde before him with a stoic expression. Everyone else in the room seemed to be horrified and the Fire Daimyo's wife seemed to be ready to have a nervous breakdown. Naruto just grinned while he leaned and a bored looking Shonzi.

"So, let me get this straight," started the hokage, "Your summons, Shonzi, has eaten Tora but has yet to digest said cat?" he asked.

"**Momma was right, I really need to chew before I swallow," **stated the hyena with a slight grimace.

"Case of indigestion big guy?" asked Naruto.

"**Yeah, I'm surprised that thing is still alive, I can see why you hate trying to catch this thing boss," **nodded the big hyena.

"Alright then, open wide and say 'ahh' buddy," Naruto grinned.

Sakura, Sasuke and Kakashi had just arrived at the tower and had opened the door to the tower and what they saw… well it wasn't what was expected. Naruto had taken off his trench coat and had his entire arm inside of his hyena's mouth. At some points he would pull out various objects and some of the objects caused some to feel nauseous and others to just stare in amazement.

Behind Naruto was a growing pile of various objects and bones, all of them coated in saliva and/or bile. Currently there seemed to be a at least three skulls, several femurs and arm bones, an entire cow ribcage, a golden chalice encrusted with diamonds, several kunai and shuriken sets and a copy of Icha Icha paradise.

"Is that my book?" asked an amazed Kakashi. "I thought I lost that in my last spar with you! That book was a limited edition copy signed by Jiraiya himself!" said the ninja franticly.

"AHA! There you are ya little bugger!" shouted Naruto triumphantly. With a tug he yanked out a very terrified and saliva soaked Tora. "Here you are ma'am and remember: there are plenty of animals out there that would consider Tora a very tasty treat," said Naruto with a big terrifying grin on his face. Shonzi gave a snigger and eyed Tora hungrily.

With a yelp the woman quickly paid for the mission and ran out the door. Naruto and Shonzi burst into laughter after they went, which caused everyone in the room to shudder. The hokage couldn't help but wonder where the smiling boy that he had known had gone. The rest of Team 7 just wondered how sane their teammate was.

After some time Naruto turned towards the hokage, "So old man, you got any more missions for us? Preferably something a little more challenging," asked Naruto with an amused smirk.

"Well I do have several more D-ra-," he was cut off by a rather annoyed bark from Shonzi.

"**What the hell old man? Give the boss a better mission than those damn D-ranks!**"growled out the hyena **"An alpha like him doesn't deserve to be doing other people's chores, especially not these damned villager's!"**

"Naruto, control your summons!" Iruka shouted. He was helping with the missions that day and was just about to lecture them when he heard an annoyed growl. Shonzi was glaring at Iruka with a murderous glint in his black eyes.

Naruto laughed, "You really shouldn't order me like that in front of my summons, they look at me as the alpha male of their pack, second only to their lovely leader Alala," he gave his former sensei a big grin, "In other words, don't go around ordering me like you are my better in front of my hyena, for only the hokage may do so and only because the hokage has my respect,"

"In any event, I do have a c-rank for your team, Kakashi," Sarutobi interjected before things could escalate. Immediately all attention was on him. "All you have to do is escort a bridge builder back to his home and defend him until the bridge is complete," stated the old man.

"Sold! To the maniac in the goggles!" laughed Naruto. "Shonzi! Tell big momma the good news!" the blonde ordered his hyena. The hyena put a paw to his forehead in a mock salute and left in a poof of smoke.

Sarutobi nodded and pressed a button on the intercom, "Send Tazuna in," ordered the wizened hokage. Not minutes later an old man wearing traveler clothes and a sake bottle in hand appeared.

He stumbled a bit and looked over his team. "This is the ninja that will defend me?" Tazuna slurred, obviously drunk, "They look like a bunch of worthless brats! And whats with the one with the creepy smile? He looks like a demented clown!"

In response Naruto just walked up to the man with an open hand. "Sir I can assure you that this clown is more than competent, so how about we shake hands and get this mission started on the right foot, hm?" asked the blonde with a pleasant but eerie smile. Shrugging, Tazuna reached out a hand and the next thing he knew he was on the floor in crumpled heap courtesy of about 5,000 volts of electricity.

Naruto laughed insanely at the electrocuted client and walked out of the office. Kakashi sighed and helped the client to his feet, "It would be wise if you refrained from insulting Naruto," warned the one eyed nin. Tazuna just nodded dumbly. _'This is going to be a looong trip' _Kakashi mentally groaned.

**A/N: Voila! New chapter up and we have officially started the wave arc. Remember to R&R and check out my other stories. Also for those reading A Shinobi's Metal I'm sorry but I'm having serious writers block with that one. DON'T FEAR! I WILL POST A NEW CHAPTER FOR IT! I REFUSE TO GIVE UP!**

OMAKE

Kakashi watched the cat Tora closely. Slowly he contacted his team. "Is everyone in position?" asked the masked man.

"I'm in position," stated Sakura.

"As am I," grunted Sasuke.

"Yup. They're in the missionary position," stated Naruto. "Gotta say Sasuke, I always thought you were gay and Sakura you really need a shave,"

There was silence followed by "WHAT THE FUCK!", maniacal cackling and a perverted giggle.


	5. Kiri nukenins

**Laughter of the Broken**

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Demon/Summons speaking"**

'_**Demon/Summons thinking'**_

**A/N: Ok I feel I have to clear the air a bit here. First off, the story originally started out as an Anko Naruto pairing but I figured why not give him a harem? As for who the third member is, try and guess, but the hint is that she is an OC and connected with the hyenas. Another hint, Females are the leaders of hyena packs and Powerful witches are said to be able to change into hyenas and also hyenas are seen as rather lustful creatures. See where I'm going? Anyway lets just start the show!**

The sun was high in the sky as Team 7 and Tazuna proceeded down the road to wave country. Currently Naruto was out in front looking for something to do, preferably something to kill. Sasuke was next to Tazuna with his hands in his pockets and glaring at the world. Sakura was talking with Tazuna about wave while Kakashi took up the rear with his nose buried in his book. Suddenly Naruto spotted a puddle and a smile slowly started to form on the blonde's face.

'_Time to have some fun,"_ Naruto thought with a dark chuckle. Slowly the blonde reached into one of his many hidden pockets and drew out several of his happy bombs. As he passed the puddle he deftly flicked his wrist and the explosives landed in the puddle.

The following explosion kicked up a bunch of smoke and dust and once it cleared there were two figures wearing gas masks, tattered cloaks and had Kiri headbands with slashes through them. Each ninja was wearing a large clawed gauntlet that connected them together via a bladed chain. Currently both brothers were battered and bruised from the explosion and one of them appeared to have severe burns all over his left side.

"The Demon Brothers! Now this mission just got interesting!" Naruto yelled while charging the Kiri nuke-nin.

Quickly the two missing-nins wrapped their chain around the charging boy. "One down," said one, and with that the brothers yanked their chain and the Uzumaki boy was ripped to bloody shreds. Team 7 watched in morbid fascination as the remains of their teammate hit the ground with squishy thuds.

"Next one," stated the one on the right. With that they charged towards Tazuna with their chain held taught, the metal gleaming off the blades in the sunlight, soaked with the recent blood.

Suddenly a kunai had pinned the chain to a tree and Sasuke immediately appeared on the weapon's hilt and delivered a devastating kick and punch to the brothers on the left and right respectively. Immediately the brothers released their chain, one going after Sasuke and the other charging towards Sakura and Tazuna. Before the one attacking Tazuna and Sakura could do anything, Kakashi appeared and knocked him out with a chop to the back of the neck. After tying his adversary to a tree, Kakashi turned to see Sasuke was having trouble with his opponent.

The Uchiha ducked under a swipe from the Kiri nin's gauntlet but was thrown onto his back from a straight kick to the face, a crunching sound ensuring his nose had been broken by the demon brother's kick. From his position he could only freeze in terror as he watched the nuke-nin bring his clawed hand down for the killing blow.

However there was a loud crack and a look surprise appeared on the demon brother's face. Slowly the nin's eyes rolled back into his head and he fell to the ground, his blood pooling out beneath him. Sasuke stared in shock at the body then looked up to see a smirking Naruto with his gun pointed up in the air, the barrel smoking from the shot. The grey-blonde gave a mocking smile to the Uchiha and said "What? Fox got your tongue niwatori (chicken)?"

Sasuke looked at Naruto with a look of shock that he was alive. This caused the Uzumaki to laugh uproariously at him, which in turn caused Sasuke's shock to slowly turn into anger and frustration. He grabbed his nose and snapped it back into place with a pained grunt and started to fix his nose while he glared at the blonde.

Sasuke slowly got up and continued his one sided staring contest with the blonde while Sakura stared in shock. "How the hell are you alive!" screamed Sakura at Naruto. Said blonde cleaned his ear with his pinky for a moment, and then went over to his so-called remains.

"Kai," the blonde said with a smirk. Immediately the bloody chunks that looked like Naruto's remains poofed before revealing the mutilated carcass of a pig. Everyone stared in shock as Naruto picked up the pig head and started throwing it between his hands absent mindedly, much to the disgust of everyone. "If you haven't figured it out yet miss pink, I replaced myself with a dead pig," Naruto chuckled while he started to play hacky sack with the head, bouncing it off of his feet and other body parts, even his head.

Keeping his lazy facade up Kakashi looked to his student and asked, "Where did you get a dead pig, and why?"

Naruto balanced the head on his knee while he cupped his chin in mock thought, his other hand resting inside a trench coat pocket. "Hmm, maybe because a henged dead pig is more convincing then a log?" suggested the boy with a grin.

Kakashi mentally agreed with the boy on that, hell, he himself had thought Naruto had been ripped to shreds by the demon brothers' attack. "Good point, but where did you get the pig?" he pressed.

Naruto grinned and pulled his hand outside of his pocket, withdrawing a scroll that had a skull with a big grin, smoking a cigar and wearing a party hat etched onto it. He tossed it to Kakashi who deftly caught it, with a curious expression. Unrolling it, he found the words victim written in black kanji inside the scroll, there were several red Xs going through some of the kanji. The gray haired nin quirked a brow at Naruto, expecting an explanation from his student.

"Each kanji is a storage seal with a carcass in it and the red x going through it shows that I used it," the crazed genin explained with a bright smile while kicking the pig head extremely hard, a sickening crunch being heard. The head flew through the air and slammed into a tree, splattering blood all over the bark. "GOOOOOOAAAAALLL!" yelled the blonde standing ramrod straight with his hands in the air, a maniacal grin on his face. Everyone just stared in morbid fascination at the blonde, wondering how far off the deep end he had gone.

"So you just carry a scroll full of dead pigs?" Sasuke asked with a disbelieving look.

"Who said they were all pig carcasses, teme?" Naruto asked with his head tilted to the side and a toothy grin on his face. His goggles flashed briefly in the light, revealing blue psychotic gleamed eyes with a slit black pupil. Sasuke paled a bit as did Tazuna, Kakashi's eye widened a bit while Sakura could only stare horrified at her teammate. A whimper was heard and everyone turned their heads to see a very terrified Meizu.

Meizu had woken up in time to see his brother be killed by this strange child. He had watched this child closely and what he saw terrified him. Everything about the child screamed danger to Meizu and those feelings were only reinforced when he saw the child just start to play with a severed head and tell everyone that he carried a scroll full of corpses. He was disturbed even more when he kicked the head into the tree but what terrified him the most was when he caught sight of those eyes. Those eyes just screamed madness, of pain and anguish and complete disregard for life. If Meizu was sure about one thing, it was that this child did not care about who lived and who died, he only cared about killing his enemies, and he would absolutely enjoy killing his enemies.

Naruto grinned at his captive and slowly started to walk forward towards the demon brother, his wolfish grin threatening to split his face in half. "If you'll excuse me, I believe its time to find out why we were graced with the presence of Kiri's best tag team nuke-nins," the gray-blond said with a chuckle. Kakashi just watched the blonde to see what would happen. Slowly Naruto squatted in front of the tied nuke-nin and gave him an eerie smile. "Hey," Naruto said causing Meizu to flinch, "want to play a game?" he asked in low voice.

"G-Game?" Meizu asked fearfully. Naruto nodded enthusiastically as he pulled a serrated dagger from his pocket. The dagger was simple in design, a simple leather wrapped hilt and a silver blade with the sun glinting off of the serrated edges malevolently.

"Yes! A game!" Naruto said happily. Causing everyone to shiver in fear especially Meizu who could only watch the dagger in fear. "The game is called 'Which organ did I just stab?' and all you have to do is say which organ I just stabbed, if you're wrong then I slowly remove the blade and stab it again but slowly, however if you're right I'll pull it out quick and leave it alone" Naruto stated with a mad cackle. "Now, if you don't want to play the game just yell Kitsune and answer all my questions, understand?" Naruto asked.

Meizu just whimpered in fear but gulped and said "I-I-I'm n-ot t-te-telling you anything," Meizu stuttered.

"THEN LET THE GAMES BEGIN!" Naruto yelled happily and immediately plunged the dagger straight in between Meizu's ribs. Meizu screamed in pain while Naruto stared at him, "Now which organ did I just stab?" asked the insane genin.

"Liver?" asked Meizu painfully, hoping beyond hope that he was right.

"Nope, gallbladder though you were close," Naruto said in a singsong voice. "Now for the fun part," he said while slowly removing the serrated blade from the nin's gallbladder. Meizu started to grunt and whimper in pain as the blade slowly edged out, centimeter by painful centimeter, inch by bloody agonizing inch. When the blade finally came free Meizu gave a loud yelp and began panting as if he had been running for three days straight. He watched as Naruto once again placed the blade on his chest, only this time the blade tip was a couple centimeters from the first stab wound. Slowly Naruto began to worm the knife into Meizu's skin and the demon brother started to once again cry out in pain. "KITSUNE!" he screamed, while Naruto suddenly stopped and cupped a hand around his ear.

"What did you say?" asked the blonde with a smirk while he pushed the dagger further into his victim, much to the demon brother's horror and pain.

"I said Kitsune! Please dear Kami stop, I'll tell you anything! I'll tell you about my mission, the Mizukage even the color of my underwear just stop please just stop!" Meizu said in a broken voice with tears coming down his face.

With a satisfied smile, Naruto quickly yanked the dagger out and smiled at his prisoner. "Great! Now first off, who sent you?" questioned Naruto, and soon the blonde and everyone knew about Gato, the bridge, the economy in wave and even about Zabuza and his accomplice they even learned about the war in Kiri. Needless to say, Tazuna was more than a little uncomfortable.

Naruto gave a wolfish grin and said "Well thanks for the info buddy, but now you have to go bye-bye," Before Meizu could ask what that even meant Naruto had pulled out a sledgehammer from seemingly nowhere and literally crushed the man's head like a grape, his blood, bone and brain matter flying all over the place. "Now that's a juicy a tomato!" Naruto said in a crazed Italian accent.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" screamed Sakura, now truly terrified out of her mind at her teammate. Everyone was thinking the same thing except for Kakashi who could only look away, knowing full well what Naruto had become.

Naruto turned to the girl while shouldering his hammer, a confused look on his face. "Um what do you mean exactly? Because otherwise you're just being too broad," Naruto stated.

"I mean first you say you have corpses in a scroll that you use for Kawarimi, then you torture a guy while saying it's a game and when he gives you all this information you kill him by crushing his head! If that wasn't disturbing enough you are actually LAUGHING and making JOKES about it like its nothing!" the girl screeched. She was wondering just what in the name of Kami would cause someone to be like this.

For a second Naruto looked at her, then without warning he burst into a fit of laughter, he was rolling on the ground and holding his sides because he was laughing so hard. After he calmed down he wiped his eyes and stared at her "Are you serious? The smartest girl in the entire class has no idea why I am the way I am? Do you seriously not know what it is to be a ninja? Oh that is just TOO funny!" Naruto proclaimed going into another fit of giggles.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!" Sakura exclaimed, obviously annoyed.

"I mean, ninja are expected to do this on a regular basis! If you want to survive in this world of shinobi then you will be expected to kill, torture, and even seduce people all for the sake of protecting the village and completing the mission." Naruto said with a grin. After seeing Sakura's shocked look he laughed once more. "Did you really think this job would be easy? That you wouldn't have to do things like this? I am just simply making sure I stay alive and that means showing no mercy, getting as much information I can get anyway I can and as for me laughing and making jokes…" here he paused and grinned evilly at Sakura. "You'll find out soon enough… unless of course you die during this mission," Naruto chuckled.

"Are you saying you'll do the mission?" Tazuna asked.

"Does a bat fly in the dark? Of course I'm doing the mission, the chance to fight Zabuza is just to awesome to pass up!" Naruto said with a giant grin, "Besides I don't like people like Gato, I hate people that use others and cause innocents to suffer," at this everyone stared at the blonde strangely. "What? I may be considered evil and a nut but I only kill and harm enemies, people who have wronged me and those who deserve it," Naruto said with a mock hurt look.

"Then why did you nearly kill Sasuke-kun with that gun! And why would you always harm some of the other kids at school and insult me and Ino?" Sakura demanded angrily.

Naruto laughed except this time it wasn't mocking or terrifying but genuine laughter. "First off, Sasuke has insulted me on a regular basis and is an arrogant ass, second, you and Ino have insulted me as well and not only that but both of you are shallow fangirls who need to grow up and lastly, the only children I harmed were those who tried to hurt me and those who have insulted me, besides I even caused several bullies to actually stop being bullies," Naruto stated while giving both Sasuke and Sakura mocking grins.

"Well, what do you two think we should do? Move on with the mission or abandon it?" Kakashi asked. Sasuke just grunted and gestured that he would go. Sakura immediately followed Sasuke's lead, despite her fear. Once again the team headed out for Wave.

**Next day, forest near a lake, 2 miles from Tazuna's home**

Team 7 and Tazuna were currently walking down a path when Naruto suddenly tossed a kunai into the tree line with lightning reflexes. Investigating where he had thrown the thing Naruto frowned upon seeing his kunai had killed a white rabbit by going through its neck.

"Naruto what the hell? It was just an innocent rabbit!" Sakura said, dismayed that such a cute creature had its life ended because of the paranoia of her teammate.

"Hn, figures you'd be scared by a rabbit," Sasuke mocked.

While the two were talking both genin failed to notice that a rather heavy mist was rolling in. Standing up, Naruto just sighed and pointed into the distance, "Incoming," said the boy in a deadpan.

Turning around, they immediately hit the dirt in fear as the giant sword barely missed slicing their heads off… well except for Naruto's whose head simply rolled off his shoulders with his body following after. The blade landed with a thunk inside of a tree, the handle sticking out horizontally with a man appearing on said handle.

He had black hair, no eyebrows or shirt, and a Kiri nuke-nin headband placed sideways on his head while the lower part of his face was wrapped in bandages, much like Kakashi's mask. He had black and grey camo pants standard shinobi sandals a black strap that went from shoulder to hip for his sword and a pair of arm warmers that matched his pants. Everyone stared at this man in utter shock, while said man smirked to himself, confident that he had easily scared the civilian and genin with his murderous entrance while effectively putting their jounin on edge.

'_Heh, one down and the only other threat is the jounin, this is gonna be easy' _though the man. Just as he was about to speak he was stopped by Sakura's screech.

"NARUTO! STOP DOING THAT!"

Confused, Zabuza turned to where she was screaming at and came face to face with a boy wearing black goggles leaning on him like some old friend. Whats more is that Zabuza could have sworn this was the kid he decapitated with his sword not five minutes ago! But that should be impossible since he could clearly see the beheaded corpse of the kid still bleeding on the ground.

"Lets seee… Ah! Here it is!" exclaimed the blonde, who was now reading out of what appeared to be a black book. "Zabuza Mamochi aka The Demon of the Bloody Mist, former jounin of Kirigakure and member of the seven swordsmen. Listed as an A-rank nuke-nin with mastery of the silent killing technique and various water jutsus. Has 'approach with caution' status," finished the boy while snapping the book closed and tucking it away. "Gotta say I'm impressed, though I wonder why you're working for a guy like Gato, though I guess I shouldn't be complaining," finished the blonde with a maniac smile.

"Who the hell are you?" asked Zabuza, now thoroughly confused.

"Me? Well I'm just your everyday run of the mill psychotic genin," giggled Naruto. With that, Naruto smashed his fist straight into Zabuza's face sending the nin flying. Giggling like a maniac, Naruto grabbed the sword under his feet, ripped it free and jumped after the form of Zabuza, screaming nim-nim. Needless to say, the rest of Team 7 and Tazuna were terrified, amazed and embarrassed at the blonde's antics

"Fucking sucker punch," Zabuza mumbled before his eyes widened and he barely avoided being cut in half by his own sword. Quickly, Zabuza kicked the genin away and retrieved his sword. Jumping away, Zabuza used his hidden mist jutsu to hide himself and reevaluate his plan. _'It's a good thing Haku is nearby should anything go wrong, but this kid is something else, granted I doubt he'd be able to beat me on his own, but this kid probably has plenty of aces up his sleeve, better just take them out quickly' _thought Zabuza.

Meanwhile Naruto and his team were surrounding Tazuna, Kakashi's sharingan eye revealed while Sasuke and Sakura were shaking from the killing intent, the only thing keeping them from killing themselves was Naruto's carefree attitude and who was oddly singing something to himself. Suddenly Zabuza appeared in between everyone swinging his sword, intent on destroying them all in one swing only to be blocked by Kakashi with a kunai and knocked away by Naruto as he sang out loud.

"When the cops show up they're gonna get the finger and I don't give a fuck cause I'm THE DESIGNATED DRINKER!" Naruto sang out as he laughed while everyone just stared as he pulled out a sake bottle and drained its contents.

"What the hell is wrong with that kid?" asked Zabuza now completely disturbed by the kid.

"Trust me when I say you don't want to know," Kakashi said with some regret. With that the two engaged in combat, the only sign of where they were being the sparks and sounds of clashing metal.

"**Hey Naru-kun,"** Kyuubi said, catching Naruto's attention away from the fight.

'_Yeah Vixen-chan?' _asked Naruto mentally while taking a drink from another sake bottle.

"**There's a girl sitting in the trees, something tells me she's working with the no brow wonder,"** stated the fox.

'_Yup, but lets wait and see what happens, I've got a plan for her if what I think happens, happens'_ responded the blonde with a wicked grin.

After some time both ninja appeared on top of the water, doing hand seals, As they finished, two water dragons burst from the lake and fought for dominance. After some time the jutsus burst in a large watery explosion and when it cleared, it showed Kakashi trapped in a sphere of water.

"Guys run! This guy is too strong for you!" Kakashi shouted.

"Sorry sensei, can't let you die, you still owe me," Naruto called out.

"Ha! I'll admit you have skills kid but, there isn't a thing you can do to me from there," Zabuza scoffed.

"True," stated Naruto with a smirk, "but what about her?" asked the blonde as suddenly another Naruto appeared from the shadow of the first only he had someone with him. The thing was revealed to be a girl with long black hair and wearing a battle kimono. Her hands were tied firmly behind her back and Naruto's gun against her head.

Zabuza's eyes widened in surprise at this. He didn't expect Haku to be found, but once again this boy had surprised him. He didn't want to lose Haku but he didn't want to give up. "Please, I doubt you have the guts to do it! Even if you do I'll just kill Kakashi!" Zabuza stated.

"Zabuza, I don't even have to worry about killing her cause sooner or later, you'll run out of chakra and it will be child's play for us take you out and the girl's life will be forfeit," Naruto said with a wolfish grin as Zabuza cursed.

He was trapped and he knew it. If Haku died, he'd be on his own and wouldn't even have the faintest hope of completing his mission without the girl, besides he loved the girl like a daughter and didn't want to see her die. Sighing Zabuza glared at the blonde, "What do want kid?"

Naruto smirked. "First release Kakashi then come over here cause I've got a proposition for you," called out the blonde.

"How do I know you won't all kill both of us as soon as I release Hatake?" Zabuza called out. He may die but he wouldn't be killed because of false promises.

"Because Hatake owes me, and if he does, I tell the hokage EVERYTHING," Naruto said with a smirk as Kakashi looked away in shame. "As for Sakura, she's not a threat, and if Sasuke tries anything well," suddenly another clone appeared out of Sasuke's shadow, the dagger from earlier tickling the Uchiha's throat, Naruto snickered as he continued, "I doubt he'll try anything,"

Zabuza though for a moment then released Kakashi as the two then approached shore. Soon both were standing in front of the blonde, Kakashi giving Naruto a small glare. "What?" asked the blonde.

"Would you please remove your clone from Sasuke?" asked Kakashi as he saw Sasuke shaking slightly.

"No problem," Naruto answered as the clone poofed away. Sasuke sighed in relief and sent a glare at Naruto who just shrugged his shoulders and turned back to Zabuza as his other clone released Haku.

"So whats this deal of yours gaki?" Zabuza asked, ready to bolt should things turn sour.

"Simple, you help us get rid of Gato then you come back to Konoha with us to become Leaf ninja," Naruto stated as everyone got a shocked or confused look.

"Are you crazy kid? I'm a missing-nin and not only that but a swordsman of the mist, as soon as Kiri finds out they'll be calling for Konoha's blood!" Zabuza stated while Naruto laughed.

"True but we can fake your death Zabuza, all I'll need is a dead corpse and some of your blood and BOOM! Instant dead Zabuza!" Naruto said happily.

"True but, what about when Kiri starts to hear about a man with Zabuza's sword, skin hair and face? They aren't as stupid as you are," Sasuke said with a smirk. Naruto just sighed.

"Sasuke, all we have to do is change Zabuza's wardrobe, last name, color his sword a different color and besides in case you didn't know nearly every swordsman is either dead OR a missing nin, besides that, Konoha and Kiri don't exactly have a lot to do with each other so the likelihood of anyone ever recognizing Zabuza would only be during the chuunin exams and even then he would just not be able to be a proctor and besides that Zabuza was said to be the weakest of the seven swordsman so as soon as we say he's dead Kiri won't even care that there's a guy in Konoha who looks like him. Hell the only reason Zabuza was even recognized was because both Kakashi and myself read the bingo books extensively so as we aren't surprised on our missions away from the village," explained an annoyed Naruto.

Everyone had to admit, it was a pretty full proof plan, besides that, Kiri was in the middle of a civil war so him being in Konoha would be the last of their problems. Besides, it wasn't that unheard of for missing-nins to join other villages. In fact the only problem Kakashi could see with the plan would be to get the hokage to agree.

"Good point Naruto but what about her?" asked Kakashi pointing to the somewhat confused girl.

"No need to worry there Kakashi, Haku was taught by me and isn't a ninja, so there is no real problem there, besides it would be for the best for Haku," Zabuza stated.

"Whys that?" asked Sakura.

"She has a bloodline and right now, Kiri is trying to kill every single bloodline, which is the reason why I became a missing-nin," Zabuza said as Haku looked down in sadness.

"Seriously? She has one?" asked Naruto as Haku thought that they would start to try killing her. "Sheesh Kiri is stupid, a bloodline is a pretty powerful weapon! Why would they want to get rid of them?" stated the blonde causing Haku to look up in surprise.

Zabuza shrugged, "Beats me kid, all I know is that I had no wish to serve a guy who would kill people for no real reason, but when my coup de etat failed I went rouge," stated the man.

"Well as far as I can tell, Haku having a bloodline will just make it so Konoha treats her like a princess," stated Naruto much to Haku's amazement and surprise.

"So do we have a deal?" asked Naruto as he held out his hand

Zabuza smirked beneath his bandages and grabbed the jinchuuriki's outstretched hand and shook it. "You got it kid, but if you screw me over, I'll chop you in half," declared the big man.

Naruto smirked back at the man, "Same to you my friend," On that note Team 7, Tazuna, Haku and Zabuza headed for Tazuna's home with said bridge builder now wondering what the hell just happened.

**Omake**

Kakashi had just defeated Zabuza and was now about to deal the death blow.

"Can that eye see the future?" asked Zabuza.

"Yes, and yours is death," stated Kakashi calmly.

Without warning Zabuza hit the ground dead, with several senbon sticking out of his neck. Suddenly, Haku appeared with her mask on. "Thank you for wea-" she was cut off by Kakashi.

"What the hell man? You just stole my kill you jerk!" Kakashi said win an annoyed tone.

"I did not, I just killed him when he was weak," stated Haku.

"NO! You freakin stole my kill! You saw me about to kill him and did it yourself because you're a kill taking ass!" Kakashi accused.

Haku scoffed, "If it was your kill, you would have just killed him instead of being a showoff!"

BANG! BANG!

Suddenly both Haku and Kakashi were dead as Naruto stood grinning with his gun smoking.

"What the hell Naruto you just killed our sensei!" Sakura yelled at Naruto.

"He was being annoying, besides instead f bitching he should have just killed the chick!" Naruto said with a shrug.

"That doesn't change the fact that you killed your own teammate! You can't just go around TKing people!" Sakura lectured. Before she could finish Sasuke appeared and killed her with his kunai.

"Thank god, fucking noob was getting annoying," stated Sasuke.

"Word," Tazuna agreed.

**A/N: And done! Yes I know this will cut the wave mission short and I let Zabuza and Haku believe but I just can't really bring myself to kill these two off in my stories. I know it's a weakness and I need to work on it but I just don't like killing those two off. Anyway be sure to R&R! Peace!**


	6. Bye bye Gato

**Laughter of the Broken**

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Demon/Summons speaking"**

'_**Demon/Summons thinking'**_

**A/N: Ok I have been told that my story is pretty close to the story Black Flames Dance In the Wind: Rise of Naruto, which a very amazing story by DevilKeys Writing, so I would like to reassure everyone that there are some very key differences between mine and his story. First, my Naruto has more emotion than the Naruto of his story. Also, DevilKeys Naruto is more dead and cold than anything else while my Naruto is more of joker like and besides that, DevilKeys has Naruto with the power of shadows like mine but the difference is that he focuses more with gods and demons and has a soul caliber x over. Besides, in the Black Flames, the story is more focused on what I call the supernatural genre. In any even if many of you think that I was copying or plagiarizing it I assure you that I was not trying to do that in any way or sense. Besides, if you look at every single story with a dark Naruto, you're bound to see similarities in them. Just can't be helped, and also do not worry Deathmask, I have NO desire to have Hinata inside the harem or any Hyuuga for that matter. Sometimes, even I become tired of the arrogant white-eyed pricks and the timid Hinata. Anyway on with the story.**

Naruto watched in amusement from his perch in his tree as the Uchiha once again failed to climb the tree, while his fan girl once again cheered him on. He chuckled as he remembered the reactions of his teammates when they learned of the exercise and his mastery of it.

_**Flashback**_

"Ok team, today we're going to work on your chakra control," Kakashi said to his team who were gathered around him in a clearing about twenty minutes away from Tazuna's home. Haku and Zabuza were sitting in a tree a couple feet away. Well Zabuza was in the tree reading Icha Icha Paradise while Haku sat at the base reading some medical books on the human body.

"So how are we going to do that sensei?" asked an intrigued Sakura.

"Simple, we are going to climb trees," Kakashi said with an eye smile, while both Sasuke and Sakura sweatdropped at his statement. Naruto just picked his teeth absentmindedly, completely disinterested with the topic.

"How is climbing trees going to help us with our chakra?" demanded an irate Sasuke. Naruto snorted and the Uchiha immediately rounded on him, "Whats so funny dobe?"

"Nothing, nothing," Naruto said with a smile while he waved his hand dismissively at the cold youth. "Please sensei continue with your explanation," the Uzumaki said with a grin.

"Thank you Naruto, anyway Sasuke, can you climb a tree without using your hands?" asked Kakashi to a now interested Sasuke.

"But sensei that's impossible!" protested Sakura. Naruto snorted while Zabuza and Haku looked at the girl as if she had grown a second head.

Kakashi just eye smiled and approached a tree. Stopping for a second, Kakashi made the ram seal and then proceeded to walk straight up the tree without the use of his hands. Sakura look shell-shocked while Sasuke was clearly amazed. Naruto just smirked at his sensei, who was now hanging upside down from a tree branch.

"Perhaps a better word for this exercise would be called tree walking or another name is surface clinging," Kakashi told his students with an eye smile. Zabuza rolled his eyes at the man and went pack to reading his book. "The goal is to send chakra to your feet and use it to cling to the tree," Kakashi directed while throwing a kunai at each one of his students feet, "Use those to mark your progress as you go along. Also I suggest you get a running start," Kakashi instructed.

Immediately both Sakura and Sasuke grabbed the kunai, concentrated, then made a mad dash for their respective tree. Naruto meanwhile looked at the kunai and just shrugged before slowly walking towards his tree.

Sasuke was about five feet up the tree before it gave a loud crack and he was thrown off, though he was able to make a mark before he fell. Looking up, he saw a shallow crater the size of his foot on the tree near his mark and mentally cursed. _'If I use too much chakra I just get thrown off but if I use to little, five bucks says I land on my ass.' _Sasuke thought. Suddenly he was broken from his thoughts when he heard a joyful cry from Konoha's Pink Banshee.

"This is easy!" Sakura called. She was sitting on a branch halfway up the tree, her kunai stuck in the main part right next to her. _'Beat that Ino-pig! Sasuke will be mine in no time!'_ Sakura thought triumphantly and looked down at her crush expecting to see some form of awe. Instead she saw a look of barely controlled annoyance on his face.

"It seems the only female on the team has the best chakra control," Kakashi said with an eye smile. Sakura got a look of confidence on her face and looked over to see how her other teammate was doing. She was surprised to see him just standing there looking at the tree, absentmindedly twirling a kunai in his hand. Kakashi also noticed this and asked, "Naruto, anything wrong?" called out the jounin.

"He's probably just too stupid to figure out how to do it," Sasuke jeered. Sakura laughed a little at that and was about to agree when Naruto did something that made everybody's jaw drop.

There was Naruto, walking up the tree and taking his sweet time doing it. While this was impressive for a genin, what was more impressive is that he wasn't just walking, he was doing that while he was balancing a kunai on his nose and each hand as he did it! What really amazed everyone though was that each kunai was ramrod straight and he showed absolutely no problem doing it. Using his sharingan, Kakashi saw that he was using chakra to do it all. Although there were some small influxes and the kunai would waver sometimes, Naruto would immediately rectify it and kept his chakra flow steady.

After some time Naruto reached the top of the tree, nearly 20 ft off the ground, and casually flicked the kunai in each of his hands away and just shook the last one off his face like a dog. Clapping his hands together in a satisfied manner, Naruto jumped off the tree and landed on the ground below with a soft thud, chakra cushioning his fall.

"Now what was that about being too stupid? Hmm, dobe?" Naruto asked Sasuke mockingly, a toothy grin on his face seeming to scream false innocence. Needless to say Sasuke had been pissed, not only at being outdone by a clan less orphan but as well as being called a dead last. Sasuke then threw himself at the exercise with new determination, vowing he would make Naruto pay for showing up an Uchiha.

_**Flashback End**_

"**As fun as it is to watch the 'avenger' fall out of a tree again and again, don't you think you should do some training of your own?"** Kyuubi suggested to her mate as she laughed at the Uchiha boy.

'_Oh I suppose you're right my dear, but there's just something about watching an arrogant spoiled brat struggle to achieve something that isn't just handed to him that's just so deliciously amusing,'_ Naruto replied.

"**True, but remember Naruto, we still need to defeat that snake and you aren't at his level just yet, even with my chakra you can only control one tail and after that you're smoked"** Kyuubi reminded.

'_Alright, alright, just remind me again why I'm training without using your chakra' _Naruto asked.

"**Because of several reasons, one, while most of my chakra has melded with yours, the process isn't complete and it will do more harm to you than good in a prolonged fight," **Naruto grimaced as he remembered when he used the fox's chakra for longer than an hour. He had spent the rest of the day knocked out cold and woke up with every cell in his body felling like it had been set on fire, _'And that wasn't even using ONE tail'_ Naruto noted.

"**Second, Orochimaru was teammates with Jiraiya and we have to assume that he has a way to seal off your chakra and in effect mine as well. Finally, you can't always rely on my chakra, what would you do if someone found a way to cut off your youki when you become a hanyou? Every shinobi needs a fallback and a surprise,"** Kyuubi said in a lecturing tone.

'_Fine, what do you suggest we work on then? I still have to work on my project, and I'd rather it be tested before the chuunin exams' _Naruto replied.

"**Why not just use the villagers? Its worked before," **Kyuubi replied.

'_Because, the villagers are starting to understand not to approach me, even when they're drunk and I'd rather not go after them and have to deal with the council, I barely avoid them with the 'self defense' excuse, besides, I'd rather not just test my things on them for no real reason, makes me feel to much like Orochimaru'_ Naruto replied with a slightly disgusted look.

Kyuubi nodded at that, **"Then I suggest you work on your ninjutsu and shadow manipulation, Alala says you need to work on your fire and earth techniques so you can fight better with her and the rest of the pack, also you really need to utilize the shadows for more than hiding, transporting and storage. Nothing beats the look on a person's face when they realize they've been stabbed by their own shadow," **Kyuubi instructed her container.

Mentally nodding at her, Naruto created twenty-nine shadow clones. "I need 10 of you to work on the fireball technique while the another 10 work on the mole technique. The rest of you help me with using the shadows in combat," ordered the original. All twenty-nine of them gave a salute and twenty rushed off to practice the jutsu till they used up their reserves.

Now left with the other nine Narutos, the original and his copies started to manipulate the shadows into weapons and shields. Needless to say, it wasn't very easy. One clone created a wall of shadow that was made to block projectiles, but that proved to be ineffective since the shadow only slowed the projectiles down. Another tried to use them as projectiles but that proved useless, since the shadows literally couldn't leave the ground or the user's body, however he did manage to send a kind of shadow whip from his hand. The biggest blunder was when one tried to create a sword out of them, all that happened when he tested it was that it left the shallowest of cuts, not even deep enough to draw a trickle of blood or dispel a clone.

"GAAAAH! This is stupid!" shouted one of the four remaining clones, "Fucking shadows are only good for making a quick escape and those damn techniques the Nara use and even then all we can do is hold somebody still or suffocate them with it! And that just wastes chakra and leaves you open for punishment!" finished the clone with a pout.

"Relax Ichi (one), at least we're getting somewhere," chirped an excited clone to the first one's left.

"Like where San (three)?" snorted Ichi. "All we've done is make a failed shield and a sword that couldn't even dispel Ni (two)," declared the clone while he jabbed a thumb behind him towards a lazy clone. "The only decent thing we've made is a whip! And I don't think our enemies are looking to get kinky!" Ichi practically shouted.

"Why is it that of all the abnormalities of a shadow clone, you had to be the one whose primary emotion is anger," sighed another clone while rubbing his temples.

"At least I have emotions Shi (four)!" shot back Ichi.

The original turned towards the other two clones and noticed that they were just sitting there watching the two argue. One seemed incredibly interested while the other just seemed bored. "Let me guess, San, your curiosity and Ni is lazy?" inquired the true Naruto. At that the lazy Ni just nodded while San turned to answer.

"Yup, so what do you think boss? I believe that we're overlooking something obvious since Kyuubi said she's seen people impaled on their own shadows," San said excitedly.

Without warning Shi appeared right in front of San, "Say that again," he demanded with a serious expression to a very surprised San.

Cocking his head to the side and backing up a bit San asked, "Say what again? 'I think we're overlooking something?'"

"No after that," stated Shi as everyone watched in some confusion.

"Kyuubi has seen people impaled on their own shadows before?" San offered.

There was a pause as Shi slowly digested this information when the proverbial light bulb went off. "OF OURSE! It's so simple! San you're a genius!" Shi cried in triumph.

"What the hell are you screeching about? You sounded like the pink haired banshee when she got a piece of hair from Mr. Broody's duck ass locks!" Ichi shouted while trying to get his hearing back.

"Shut up Ichi, now as for why I did that I have just figured out how to use the shadows in combat!" Shi stated proudly. Now he had the attention of everyone and they were eager to hear how.

"So how do we use them in combat?" Naruto asked his logical clone.

"Simple boss, for the most part we have tried using the shadow as a sword which didn't work at all, then as a shield which killed one clone, then we lost another four due to Ni's whip, which, Ichi, can actually prove to be quite useful," Shi lectured his angry counterpart. Ichi just rolled his eyes and gave Shi the one finger salute.

Ignoring Ichi, Shi continued, "For the most part we just used the shadow as a blunt and cutting tool, when it's better used as a PIERCING weapon," he exclaimed. The original facepalmed while the curious clone laughed at the sheer simplicity of it! Ni just shrugged and turned back to watching the clouds while Ichi just had a blank look.

"What exactly does that mean?" Ichi asked while the other three stared at him as if he was insane except for Ni.

Ni sighed, "It means we use the shadows like spears and spikes, not as swords, but I'm pretty sure if you infuse some wind chakra into the shadow swords they'll cut deeper and there is a way to make that shield a LOT more effective," stated the lazy clone without looking up from his cloud watching.

This time, Shi and the original had flabbergasted looks on their faces while Ichi got a look of understanding on his face. "How would you make the shield better?" San asked Ni.

"Troublesome," muttered Ni, "Just watch" he ordered as he got up. Using the shadow of a nearby tree, he created a portal on its trunk but didn't enter it. Then using his own shadow and bringing it up to him he flung a kunai into it. About a second later, the same kunai flew out of the shadow portal on the tree's trunk and nailed itself into another tree a couple yards away.

Turning back to the others he said, "Get it?" The Narutos just nodded in amazement at the, once again, simple solution. "Good," and with that he promptly dispelled himself.

"I think that will do for today," said the original as he dispelled all his clones. Wincing a bit from the information, Naruto looked up and noticed that it was getting close to dinner. Making a note to himself to work on his project afterwards, the dead-haired blonde headed back to Tazuna's home, his mind already buzzing with the various methods of killing and torture he now could do, and all with a simple mental command and if at most, a flick of the wrist. He chuckled darkly, the future promised to be very entertaining for our little psychopath.

**Tazuna's Home, Dinner**

Team 7 were seated around the table along with Zabuza, Haku and of course, Tazuna's family. Dinner was a simple meal of fish, rice, and some vegetable stir-fry. For the most part everyone was having a nice time, just making small talk. Even Naruto was having a good time, occasionally answering the question thrown his way or adding in his comment, but for the majority of it he just basked in the warmth of this feeling of contentment.

"So, Sasuke, how far have you gone on the tree?" Kakashi asked, trying to make the brooding avenger come out of his perpetual dark mood.

"I'm nearly at the top, by tomorrow I'll have it done," Sasuke stated simply.

"Good, then you'll be able to work with Sakura on water walking," Kakashi eye smiled as he turned to his female student, "Speaking of the water walking, how are you coming along Sakura?"

"Its really hard sensei, but I've nearly got it mastered!" she said with confidence. Sakura had come a ways from the academy, granted, she still didn't have much going for her besides book smarts but her skills were coming along smoothly. All of them were nearly up to high genin level but she still needed some jutsus other than the academy basics.

Kakashi eye smiled at his student. "What about you Naruto? Need any help with anything?" Kakashi asked his black clad student.

Naruto smirked at the man. He knew Kakashi was trying to make amends, but he wasn't going to forgive Kakashi just yet. "Not really sensei. All I need are some test subjects and I'm sure Gato's men will be more than willing to _volunteer,"_ Naruto said with a dark chuckle.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER!" shouted Inari, now completely fed up with these ninja and their carefree attitudes. "You're all going to die no matter how hard you try! Gato will kill you like he did every other person that stood up to him!" cried the young boy. Everybody was shocked at the quiet boy's sudden outburst, well everybody except a certain maniac.

"Yes, yes, big bad Gato will kill six trained shinobi, no offense pipsqueak but just because you, a boy whose spirit is as broken as the rest of this village, couldn't beat him doesn't mean we can't," Naruto said with a dismissive wave.

Angered at the blonde Inari said, "Shut up! What do you know of our pain? What do you know of what life is like here? You've had it easy in that big village while we've had to slowly starve and die! What do any of you know about suffering?" Inari accused, tears in his eyes. At that Naruto froze and stared at the boy.

"Really? I know nothing of suffering?" asked Naruto with a smile that unnerved everyone deeply as killing intent started to slowly leak off of him. "Allow me to tell you a little story Inari," the temperature started to drop and Inari started to get the feeling that he should run, but he couldn't move. He could only sit there and listen to whatever story that Naruto wished to tell.

"A little longer than fourteen years ago, a child was born, but both of his parents had died. One from childbirth, and the other died in combat. Both of them were highly respected and dedicated shinobi of Konoha, but for some reason everyone hated and feared the child of these ninja," Naruto paused for a second his smile disappearing. "Before the child could talk, it had more assassination attempts on its life than a daimyo and once the babe reached the age of three, it was thrown from the orphanage," he chuckled a bit, "Not that the babe cared too much, for the matrons would always frown upon the child and scold it for no reason. They gave it the worst place to sleep, hardly any food and all the other children would be mean to it, never allowing that child to play with them, an act the adults encouraged,"

"Regardless, after the child was thrown out, not minutes later a mob attacked him, shouting words such as demon, fox brat, and other such insults. Of course the child ran, it was not the first time it had been chased by a mob, but it was the first time it got caught," Naruto said darkly.

"They beat the child then, they stabbed it, hit it with various blunt objects such as sticks, pipes, hammers and so on. There were ninja in that mob, so the child felt the pain of being hit with kunai and shuriken long before it would begin the academy for shinobi. They even used jutsus on him, but the most painful was when it got burned by a fire one," here Naruto's smile came back but it was anything but happy.

"The child screamed as its body caught on fire, the flames licking away at his skin ever so slowly. It begged for help, for them to stop, but they only said it was what it deserved for what it did to them,"

"Soon the poor youngling was left alone in the alley, the flames long since extinguished. Yet now, the question of why was placed in its mind. Why was it so hated? Why did people hurt it? Why was it forced to be alone?" Naruto asked the last part quietly. For a moment the killing intent evaporated and the temperature went back to normal. Then it came back again as a manic smile appeared on Naruto's face, "But then that night happened,"

"It was only six years old when the villagers finally shattered its mind. They had pinned it to the wall, a kunai through each hand, when a silver haired chuunin stepped forward and plunged another kunai into its heart. In that moment it did die, just not in the way you would think. They broke its mind, left nothing but a husk of anguish and insanity that killed them all. It slaughtered them, no, it butchered them and laughed throughout the entire affair. After finally exhausting itself from killing its tormentors it fell asleep, and in its endless nightmares it found out the reason it was hated," pausing the blonde took off his goggles but kept his eyes shut tight, a deep frown upon his face.

"It had a demon sealed inside of it. The village hated, hunted and shunned it simply because they couldn't tell the difference between a kunai and its holster," Naruto snapped his eyes open and gave a maniacal grin, his dead ice blue eyes glinting with that ever present spark of insanity.

"Now can you guess who that child was Inari?" Naruto asked, his eyes boring into Inari's making him shake in terror.

"Y-Y-You," Inari stammered, now extremely terrified.

"Ding ding ding! Give the boy a cigar!" Naruto cackled, making everyone shudder fearfully, "I was in fact that child and I do have a demon sealed in me! I have to endure the hatred of the villagers day in and day out, except now it's more like fear than hatred," Naruto giggled. "I suffered because of something I had no control over, so SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH YOU INSOLENT GAKI! YOU KNOW NOTHING OF SUFFERING!" Naruto snarled at the child, the KI now reaching unbelievable levels, making even Zabuza and Kakashi shake in fear. "You have everything I and many others have ever wanted! A home, food, people who care about you and yet here you are, bitching and moaning because your father died trying to save you all! Instead of honoring his death, all of you have just rolled over and accepted death with only your grandfather trying to save this place! If you had truly loved that man you called father, you would be doing whatever you could to carry out his mission to save this place, not sitting here and spitting at his memory! So grow up, dry your eyes and grow a pair because if I EVER hear you whining about your fate again, I'll feed you to my hyenas and use whatever is left over as a paper weight!" Naruto threatened. With that, the broken youth gave a mad laugh and disappeared into the shadows.

When the killing intent finally released and the room returned to regular temperature, Inari passed out. After Tsunami put Inari in his room Zabuza turned to Kakashi and asked, "Is that true?"

Sighing, Kakashi gave a nod, "Yes, every word of that is true, because of the demon inside him, the villagers and some ninja would do anything they could to make what they believed to be the monster incarnate suffer. They would beat, stab, slash, burn and whatever else they could do to try and kill him. Even when he went to the hospital they hardly ever treated him and when they did they did the most minimalistic of things, hoping that the demon would finally die," Kakashi replied with a lost look in his eye. "Naruto has experienced things that not even I would be able to stand, all because people couldn't see the child that just wanted acceptance," Kakashi said with a voice laden with regret.

"So that's why hes like that? That's why he's so…" Sakura asked trying to find the right word.

"Sadistic? Insane? Broken? Take your pick Sakura, I'm just surprised that he hasn't killed everyone," Kakashi replied dismally.

"Because if I did, then what would be the point? I'd just prove to the entire world that I'm a monster, besides I don't want to kill EVERYONE in the village… just a large portion of it!" cackled the voice of Naruto, making everyone leap away in fear.

"Damn it Naruto don't do that!" Sakura screamed at the blonde who was now grinning madly at them, his goggles back in place over his eyes. She noticed that only Naruto's body from the waist up was normal, the rest of him vanished into a black mass on the floor.

"Actually I'm not Naruto, I'm a clone he sent to watch over Gato's movements. Did you know Gato has about several hundred slaves at his compound? I find it odd that most of them are scantily clad women," mused the clone before it shrugged nonchalantly. "Anyway. Boss wanted me to tell you that Gato plans on attacking the bridge personally with about, oh 200 mercenaries? Regardless, the attack will happen the morning of the day after tomorrow so you might want to tell the workers to stay away from the bridge," Naruto informed. With that, the clone disappeared in a poof of smoke, the smoke eerily forming a smile before vanishing.

"Zabuza-sama," Haku started, gaining everyone's attention. "If you ever piss that boy off, you're on your own," she finished.

Zabuza nodded at that, "Trust me Haku, when we get to Konoha, I'm making DAMN sure I stay on his good side," stated the demon of the bloody mist. On that note everyone headed to bed, wondering where Naruto had gone.

**Unknown location, Chemical Lab**

Naruto smirked as he stared at the luminescent sickly yellow fluid in the test tube, the light produced by it glinting eerily off his goggles. Naruto gave a chuckle as he eyed his new toy. "You and me are going to have a lot of fun together," Naruto whispered to the liquid as a predatory grin consumed his features.

**Next day**

Naruto was sitting next to Zabuza watching as Sasuke and Sakura practiced water walking. A small cough catching his attention, he turned to see a very timid looking Inari behind him.

"Um, Naruto i… I just wanted to..," Inari tried to say before Naruto brought up a hand and cut him off.

"Kid if you're going to apologize then I'll only accept it on one condition," Naruto stated. Curious, Inari asked what condition. Smirking Naruto said, "I want you to stop crying, and honor your father's memory," the Uzumaki declared with a small smile, not one of malice or mockery, but just a simple smile.

"How do I do that?" Inari asked.

Naruto chuckled at the boy and just ruffled his hair. "You'll find out sooner or later, unless you're denser than concrete," Naruto said teasingly. Inari smiled a bit at that and sat down next to the Uzumaki and swordsman to watch the two genin attempt to water walk. After about an hour had passed Kakashi appeared.

"Alright you two, take an hour break then we'll start up again," Kakashi ordered his students, his nose buried in his book. Sakura gave a relieved sigh and collapsed on the shore while Sasuke just grunted and walked towards Naruto's position.

Naruto sighed as he watched the Uchiha approach him, an action that didn't go unnoticed by Zabuza or Inari. "What's wrong kid?" asked the swordsman, the look in Inari's eyes mirroring the demon's question.

"Just watch, and Zabu, you may want to keep your eye on him when he's near Haku," the blonde said in a bored tone as he produced a knife from his sleeve and proceeded to flip it in his hand. Finally the Uchiha halted in front of the three and regarded them as if they were barely above vermin.

"Dobe, fight me," demanded Sasuke. Naruto just quirked an eyebrow at the Uchiha and sighed.

"What are the terms?" he asked lazily, catching the knife so the blade was gripped between his thumb and index and middle finger.

A bit surprised the Uchiha got a smug smirk and said, "You choose, give yourself whatever handicap you need,"

Suddenly Naruto got a sadistic smile on his face and Sasuke immediately wished he hadn't let the blonde choose the arrangements for the battle.

"Alright then my duck assed opponent, here are the rules," Naruto declared, ignoring the scowl Sasuke sent him, "We fight till first blood, meaning whoever bleeds first loses. Also neither of us can use kunai, shuriken, daggers or ninja wire, other than that anything goes," said the blonde with a smirk.

"Fine then," Sasuke spat as he got into a ready position while Naruto stood up. Noticing the fight, Sakura, Kakashi and the newly arrived Haku sat down to watch the spar.

"First move goes to you my friend," Naruto said as he bowed low, a devious smirk hidden from the Uchiha's view. Snorting, Sasuke charged the blonde, confident that victory was in the bag. Naruto just leaned to the left, half his body now a shadow, easily dodging the Uchiha's downward strike. Growling, Sasuke followed up his attack with a rising right knee strike, but once again Naruto dodged by using turning his upper body completely horizontal, a feat that should have been impossible without leaving the ground! Somehow though, Naruto did it, the shadowy mass that was his waist down never leaving earth.

So it went, Sasuke would strike and Naruto would dodge easily, bending his body in astounding ways. "Would you hold still and fight already?" Sasuke demanded breathing a little heavily from the effort of trying to land a hit on the blonde.

"Tempting offer, but I rather like the work out," Naruto grinned. Snarling in anger, Sasuke leapt back and began doing handseals at a rapid pace. Finishing, Sasuke formed a ring around his mouth and exhaled a giant fireball from his lips. As the flames consumed his teammate, Sasuke smirked, confident he'd defeated his teammate.

As the flames disappeared Sasuke looked to see what the effect of his technique had done to Naruto. He smirked as he saw what seemed to be the charred remains of a human corpse.

"Did you hit me?" asked a voice directly behind Sasuke, causing said boy to whirl around to face the toothy grin of one Naruto Uzumaki. Leaping back the Uchiha glared at the boy who didn't seem to have a scratch on him, not even a speck of soot.

"How the hell did you dodge that?" Sasuke demanded, a hint of fear in his voice.

"Ah poor little Sasuke still lives in the dark," Naruto said in a voice dripping with false pity, "Seems you still don't understand anything," the blonde said disapprovingly.

"And what do you know outcast?" Sasuke snarled, now thoroughly annoyed with the Uzumaki.

Naruto chuckled at him, making a cold chill run down the black haired youth's spine. "I know a lot Sasuke. I know that in the last moments of people's lives, they show their true selves. Want to know how many were cowards?" Naruto asked with a snicker. "I know that the crippled hawk only fools the monkey with his charade of disability, I know why the guardian attacked her charge and I know what the leaf has hidden from the maelstrom," Naruto answered cryptically.

"What the hell are you talking about you insane freak?" Sasuke said as he swung at the blonde with a roundhouse kick.

Naruto caught the leg and laughed. "Fine then Sasuke allow me to tell you something I'm sure you'll love to know," Suddenly Naruto's mouth appeared right next to Sasuke's ear and whispered, "I know the REAL reason why your family was murdered by Itachi, for he was nothing more than the pawn, the hired gun, the puppet,"

Shell shocked, Sasuke froze. Naruto laughed and sent a shadow spike at the black haired boy, it barely missing his head and causing blood to trickle down the boy's cheek. "I believe this match is mine, Sasuke," Naruto declared simply, straightening up and walking away, leaving behind a group of very confused people. As the blonde left Sasuke's shock started to turn to fear.

'_How does he know?'_ thought the Uchiha.

**Next day, at the bridge, early morning**

A small man wearing a pin stripe suit and a gold topped ebony wooden cane stood in the mist. He peered over his sunglasses at the mob behind him and smirked. _'Today that bridge builder dies and Wave will become mine'_ thought the pudgy midget known as Gato. Currently he was standing on the nearly completed bridge with an army of mercenaries behind him, just waiting for the bridge builder, his workers and bodyguards to show up.

Slowly the clap of boots meeting concrete met the ears of everyone and a figure emerged from the mist. Once it stopped the figure was revealed to be a person in a black trench coat with blonde hair and goggles. Gato stared at the figure who smiled back, "Hello Gato, I'm here to kill you," said the black clad teen in a pleasant voice.

Gato quirked an eyebrow and burst out laughing at the teenager in front of him, soon followed by the guffaws of his mercenaries. "You're going to kill me?" Gato laughed, "You're just a single brat! What the hell can you do?" they continued to laugh at the boy even as the mist seemed to get thicker than before.

Naruto smirked and shook his head at the man. "You honestly think I'm alone? Trust me while it would be easy for me to eradicate you and your bunch, quite a bit of people have a bone to pick with you Gato," as he finished speaking, two more figures emerged from the mist. The figures were none other than Zabuza Mamochi and Haku.

"Hello Gato," Zabuza said coldly.

"Zabuza? How the hell are you alive? I was sure those leaf nins killed you!" Gato shouted in surprise.

"We found a better deal, and that deal involves removing you," Haku said simply.

Gato growled at that but he wasn't too worried. "So what? Not even the three of you together can take down my army!" Gato snorted.

"Oh?" asked Naruto, "Then allow me to introduce MY army," with that, the mist cleared revealing every single villager of wave armed with whatever they could get their hands on, ranging from farming tools to kitchen knives to pipes and sticks. Every one of them had a VERY pissed expression on their face.

The mercs unconsciously took a step back at the sight as Gato started to panic a bit. While the businessman was confident his men could eradicate the three shinobi, he wasn't too sure that his army could take on an entire village and three shinobi. Still, Gato was stubborn and he refused to be beaten.

"Ha! I'll give an extra thousand ryo to the one who brings me the brat's head! Try and keep the women alive boys, so we can celebrate our victory later tonight," Gato called out. The mercs roared in approval and started to charge.

"Time to test my project," Naruto laughed as he revealed his hands, or rather he revealed his right hand. On his right hand was a specially modeled glove that instead of regular fingers, each finger including the thumb was crafted into a syringe with an inch long needle, each 'finger' filled with that eerie yellow fluid Naruto had created that night a few days prior. Laughing madly the boy plunged his new device into a merc's chest.

Not seconds later the man's eyes grew wide and a look of horror overcame his face. "No! Get them away from me!" he screamed and immediately started swatting at himself, as if trying to get something off of him. Soon the man was nothing but a frantic mess, wildly running around in fear, even knocking into his own allies. Suddenly, the merc gripped his sword and started swinging randomly, trying to kill something that wasn't there and even harming some of his own allies.

"I do believe my fear toxin works quite well," Naruto said with a maniacal grin to himself. "Then again the scientific method says to repeat the process," he cackled, once again jumping into the fray.

Gato had long since retreated to the back of the pack and was now watching in horror as every one of his thugs was viciously and mercilessly killed! They dropped like flies to the speed and accuracy of Haku, were cleaved in half by Zabuza who would appear then vanish only to do it once more, and how they were just decimated by the angry villagers. What scared him the most was the blonde, how he would appear out of nowhere like Zabuza, stab his men then leave behind now frantic and hysterical mercenaries, all screaming and running around in terror. Now the blonde was causing his men to flee in terror AND was now shooting them with a purple revolver, laughing like a lunatic!

Gato knew he had lost and he knew if he didn't escape now he was going to be visiting the Shinigami very soon. So Gato tried to run, only to bump into the very last thing he wanted to bump into. Slowly looking up, Gato came face to face with none other than Naruto Uzumaki.

"Hello my pudgy little friend, were you planning on going somewhere?" asked the boy in a pleasant voice.

"Look, I'll give you anything you want if you let me go!" Gato said quickly, not really wanting to die.

Naruto just got a grin on his face and lifted his gun, the barrel taking up most of Gato's vision. Naruto pulled the trigger and Gato screamed in fear, his eyes shut tight. Feeling no pain, Gato opened his eyes to see what happened and was met facing the gun again, only this time, there was a banner with the word 'BANG!' on it. Naruto laughed at the tycoon's face and said, "So if I let you go you'll give me anything a I want?" Naruto asked with a malicious smirk.

Gato smiled to himself and said, "You got it kid, so what do you want? Money? Women? Land? Name it and its yours,"

Naruto chuckled in his throat and pointed the banner between Gato's eyes. "I want your life," Naruto stated. Before Gato could ask what he meant, Naruto pulled the trigger once again. Immediately the banner flew straight in Gato's head, piercing his skull and puncturing his brain, resulting in instant death. As Gato's corpse fell to the floor, a banner stood proudly from his forehead like a flag with the words 'HA HA!' imprinted on it.

Naruto smirked at the body of the tyrant. "Bye, bye Gato, say hi to Mizuki and the other villagers for me," laughed the blonde as he set out to get rid of the remaining mercs. Today, Wave was finally free, and the future looked promising.

**A/N: Haha! I have finally finished the chapter! Next we will do the start of the Chuunin exams. If you have a question on why I gave Naruto fear toxin that will be answered fairly soon. Anyway, be sure to R&R and give my other stories a look! **


	7. First Exam

**Laughter of the Broken**

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Demon/Summons speaking"**

'_**Demon/Summons thinking'**_

**A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry its been a while but for the most part I've been busy with school so no real time to work on this. Anyway, for everyone wondering about the fear toxin, fear not, for that is the only other thing I'm adding. So no freeze ray, no hat with strange powers like the mad hatter, no silk gun or anything like that. The reason for the fear toxins will be explained in this chapter. Also, for the third girl in the harem of Anko and Kyuubi with Naruto, I'm going to let you guys choose the third girl because my idea has too many holes. The only ones you can't nominate are: another female bijuu or demon, Hinata, Sakura, Ino, Tsunade, Shizune, Kurenai or Yugao. Other than that, take your pick and give me a good reason. Anyway lets start the show.**

Team 7 along with Haku and Zabuza were finally going home. The bridge had taken a few weeks to actually be finished building and when it was finished they named the bridge, "The Great Naruto Bridge" in honor of the hero who had brought hope and freedom back to Wave. Kakashi was actually pretty pleased and very disappointed in Sasuke and Sakura when they protested the name and actually wished it to be called the great Uchiha Bridge. They were swiftly silenced though by Naruto's challenge. The challenge was a two on one battle royal and everything goes. Needless to say when Naruto pulled on his fear toxin glove, the two quickly agreed to the name of the bridge.

Currently, the group was walking along the path at a civilian pace when they got within fifteen miles of Konoha and would be there around two in the afternoon. They were walking in silence when Sasuke broke the silence.

"What the hell was that weapon you used on the bridge loser?" the 'last' Uchiha demanded. That glove had been eating away at his mind ever since he saw it and he finally couldn't take not knowing anymore.

Naruto just smirked at the Uchiha, "And why should I tell you Sasuke? Because if you're planning on using it, you'd only be able to use it on about three more people, one if they had strong willpower," Naruto stated.

"Shut up and tell him Naruto-baka! You should be honored to give something like that to someone as important as Sasuke-kun!" Sakura shouted. This action caused Kakashi to sigh while Zabuza and Haku thought how the hell either one of these two became genin. The Uchiha obviously couldn't really work with a team and the girl was too obsessed with Sasuke to actually work on her ninja skills unless told to by her sensei.

"Actually Naruto I'd also like to know about that weapon if its not too much trouble, besides I'll need to at least know what you're calling it for my report," Kakashi asked in a much politer tone.

"Oh if you must know then allow me to explain," Naruto said in a mock defeat voice while pulling out the same glove from before, the liquid in the syringes glowing eerily though like Naruto said, there wasn't much of the fear toxin left. "The glove itself is nothing much, just syringes in the fingers with longer than normal needles, however the stuff IN the syringes is another matter altogether," the blonde said with an eerie smile.

"What is in the gloves?" Haku asked with some small fear.

"Inside, my dear, is a special concoction that reacts to the pheromones in a person's body. Once in the body, the chemicals cause mass hysteria or fear within the target effectively making them hallucinate, thinking that they are experiencing their biggest fears," Naruto answered with an impish grin. "Each phobia depends on the person themselves, take Sasuke for example, if I were to enter this into his bloodstream he could experience being raped by his fangirls, Itachi killing his family again or realize he is the weakest of weak," Sasuke looked both angered and afraid at that statement. Angered at the accusations, but afraid at his teammate's claim, but being Sasuke he refused to believe that his teammate actually created something like that.

"There is no way you made something like that," Sasuke stated with a sneer, Sakura nodding in agreement.

"Correct Sasuke, I didn't create fear toxin. The creator of this little beauty was a man by the name of Tsuru, an ANBU to be exact. Tsuru was also known as Kyoufushou (morbid fear), Using his notes, I was able to recreate his fear toxin, the thing that gave him his name" Kakashi's eyes widened at that.

"You found Kyoufushou's notes? " exclaimed the one eyed nin. Ever since Tsuru died, countless people have searched everywhere for notes on his techniques, but no one had found anything. Hell, Ibiki had even turned the village upside down and spent the equivalent of three A-rank mission pays for just one scrap of information that he could use for his interrogations.

Naruto smirked "Yes I did, I actually found his lab and notes on accident one night when roaming my home. I even found a journal of his that he kept since he was an academy student all the way up to his death, apparently when he was younger, he was constantly bullied for his various fears, one day he had enough and vowed to find out what caused fear and how to kill his own fears. In the end, he feared nothing but everyone feared him," As he finished, Naruto had a thoughtful look on his face then just shrugged it off and kept walking.

"Ok that makes sense but why exactly do you have it kid? From what I've seen, adding that fear toxin just seems like overkill," Zabuza stated.

Turning Naruto gave a wolfish grin and said "While that may seem true to you, I am absolutely horrible with genjutsu, can't make one to save my life nor can I break any over B-rank, however with fear toxin I have the perfect tool for making and dispelling genjutsu," here Naruto got a very insane grin.

"I can see how it works for making genjutsu but how exactly does it dispel genjutsu?" Haku asked. She had to admit, the fear toxin was probably BETTER than genjutsu simply because it couldn't be dispelled by chakra but she failed to see how it could dispel genjutsu.

"Easy, most genjutsu rely on messing with an opponent's mind and chakra. Thanks to my research on my first subject coupled with Tsuru's own notes on the theory, I have found that when constantly exposed to the toxin, the target soon builds up an immunity to it along with a higher resistance to genjutsu," Naruto said with an innocent smirk.

"Who was your first subject?" Sakura asked.

Naruto gave a low chuckle and turned to her with a small smile and head tilted to the side, "Who better to test it on then myself?" he asked with a finger pointing at himself. Everyone got a shocked and uneasy look at that statement and continued their trek in silence with Naruto leading the way.

As they walked they wondered just what went on in that head of his, because whatever it was, it was more fucked up than Orochimaru's obsession with little boys and immortality.

**Konoha, Outside the Hokage Tower**

Team 7 and co. had finally made it to the tower and made their report to the hokage. Zabuza and Haku would be on probation for about a month or so with Zabuza helping in the chuunin exams and Haku working as an intern at the hospital. They were about to leave when a voice stopped them in their tracks, "Yosh! Kakashi my eternal rival!" shouted the voice making Kakashi shiver in dread.

'_Dear Kami please not him, not now, not here'_ thought the silver haired nin as he turned to face the voice. There in all his green spandex jumpsuit wearing glory was the bane of Kakashi's existence.

"Ah my eternal rival! How burn your flames of youth?" the man asked with a cheesy smile and loud voice. He was wearing a green jumpsuit, orange legwarmers, standard shinobi sandals, and an unzipped jounin flak jacket. Around his waist he wore his headband like a belt with red cloth yet despite everything, that wasn't what freaked most of the group out. What freaked everyone out (minus Kakashi who has seen it and Naruto because he's not disturbed or scared of anything really) was the man's perfect black bowl cut hair and super bushy black eyebrows.

"Hm? You say something Gai?" Kakashi asked uncaringly, hoping beyond hope he would just leave without issuing one of his challenges.

"ARRG! Curse you and your hip attitude Kakashi!" Gai exclaimed with anime tears and shaking his fist in the air, "I will show you that my flames of youth are more powerful then your hip attitude!" It was at this point that two more people came up behind the strange man.

The one on the left of the man was a girl with black hair done into two Chinese buns on her head making her look like a panda. She also had light skin and chocolate brown eyes. She was wearing a Chinese styled sleeveless pink blouse and baggy dark green pants with standard blue shinobi sandals and kunai holster on her right leg.

'_Hmm… I swear I've seen that hairstyle before'_ Naruto thought as he searched through his memories. Slowly he started to smile as he remembered the girl in front of him. _'Ah yes, Tenten. She is about one year older than us and, if I remember correctly, an orphan' _thought the blonde as he remembered past experiences with the girl. Oh yes, Naruto DEFINITELY remembered her.

Next to Tenten was a boy that was undoubtedly a Hyuuga, due to his pupil less white eyes, very pale skin, long black hair that reached mid back and cold stoic attitude. (Seriously what is it with all Hyuuga acting as if they have an icicle shoved up their asses? Would it kill them to smile? Well maybe if Naruto was the one making the jokes…) He was wearing a khaki shirt, bandages on his right arm and left leg, dark brown shorts, same sandals as Tenten, kunai holster on right leg, and a black Konoha headband that fit snugly around his forehead and kept his hair out of his ever cold face.

"Gai-sensei, who exactly is this guy and why are you calling him your eternal rival?" Tenten asked as she eyed the people across from her with a curious expression. She recognized the last Uchiha easily, but she had no idea who the pink haired girl was and she felt like she had seen the blonde before but she just couldn't place him.

"Of course! This my dear pupils, is Kakashi Hatake, my eternal rival since we were not but genin!" Gai declared. Kakashi just gave a lazy Yo, once again making Gai burst into anime tears, "There's that cursed hip attitude of yours again! My flames of youth shall not be diminished! Anyway, Kakashi I'd like you to meet two of my pupils, Tenten," here he pointed at the girl who gave a polite wave, "and Neji!" he finished pointing at the Hyuuga who just nodded his head in acknowledgement. "My third and most hardworking student however is in the hospital resting from a rather youthful training session," Gai declared with a proud look.

"Well Gai, these are my students, Sakura Haruno," Sakura smiled and bowed slightly, "Sasuke Uchiha," Sasuke just grunted and glared at Neji, (a rivalry of which pathetic eye is better, ne?) "and finally Naruto Uzumaki," Kakashi finished with an eye smile.

Suddenly there was shout of "Naruto-kun!" and said blonde was glomped by Tenten. The girl was squeezing the life out of the blonde with a giant smile on her face while Naruto just said "Good to see you too Ten-chan," with a small smirk and showing no interest that his spine could actually be heard cracking and snapping.

"Wait you two know each other?" Sakura asked in confusion. To her, the very idea of someone actually being happy to see Naruto and not freaked out was just strange to her. I mean, who in their right mind would openly hug Naruto? The guy was the very definition of creepy mixed with insanity!

Somewhere in a dark forest a certain purple haired girl sneezed, "Wonder who's talking about me?" she shrugged and went back to the file she was reading about one Naruto Uzumaki.

Meanwhile Naruto was explaining his relationship with Tenten, "Well if you must know, girl of pink hair and large forehead," Naruto smirked as Sakura developed a tic mark on her forehead, "Tenten here is an old friend and sparring partner, though in reality I was more like a test subject for her weapons," Tenten got a sheepish look on her face at that.

"I said sorry for all the cuts and stuff," Tenten said nervously as her sensei and teammate gave her a strange look.

"Don't apologize, it was my fault for not dodging quick enough. Nothing like a few near beheadings and stabbed lungs to remind you to avoid flying pointy objects and swords, ne?" Naruto said with a dismissive wave while everyone just stared in shock. "Thank Kami for demonic healing factors, or would that be Yami?" Naruto mused. Shrugging he continued, "Either way, now I know what color my insides are and that if reattached quick enough, my limbs can be grafted back on though I still don't want to test to see if it's the same for my head," Naruto finished as everyone but Tenten turned an unhealthy shade of green. What the hell was wrong with this kid?

"Tenten is this all true?" Gai asked in a stern voice. He didn't like the idea of her nearly killing fellow Konoha shinobi.

"Relax Bushy Brow-sensei, This was back when we were still in the academy and orphanage. One day I saw her practicing with weapons and noticed she was looking quite bored just attacking a stuffed doll, so I offered my services as a moving target and sparring partner. I mean really, haven't you ever wondered how a clanless orphan got so good at wielding not only kunai and shuriken, but as well as numerous other weapons?" Naruto asked with a bit of a condescending smirk.

Now that the taijutsu master thought about it, it WAS rather odd how an orphan was so adept at fighting with weapons and knowing just where to strike to either incapacitate or kill. He felt a little ashamed that he hadn't gotten to know his students a little better.

"Tenten, Neji I have failed you as a sensei!" Gai exclaimed as he burst into tears, "From here on out I promise to be a better sensei, no, the BEST sensei I can be! I promise by my burning flames of YOOOOUTH!" with that Gai grabbed both Neji and Tenten and rocketed into the air on a fiery rainbow, all the while screaming 'youth' while both Tenten and Neji screamed out of pure terror.

"Well…. That's new," Kakashi said with a slightly surprised but still lazy look.

"That… was scarier than Naruto," Sakura stated with a deadpan expression.

Suddenly there was a rumbling noise and everyone turned to see Naruto's body shaking quite violently. Suddenly cracks started to appear in Naruto's body, revealing a blinding white light. Soon, Naruto exploded into light white, causing team 7 to look away.

When they looked back they saw a miniature but blonde and goggled version of Gai. They stared in horror at Naruto's bright smile, bushy blonde eyebrows with matching blonde bowl cut. In absolute terror they watched him assume the 'Nice Gai' pose and launch into the air with a rainbow stream behind him, screaming "YOOOOUTH!"

They stared in silence for a while before Sakura said, "I stand corrected,"

**1 week later, Team 7 bridge meeting spot**

Sakura sighed as she sat and waited for her ever-late sensei with her teammates. Sometimes she wondered why she even showed up when she did, she could show up three hours late and probably still be there before her sensei. She glanced at her teammates taking note that Sasuke wasn't really acknowledging anyone around him and Naruto was lost somewhere in his mind. She had asked him about it once out of curiosity and he said "Just chatting with a hot piece of tail," confusing her and angering her because she thought Naruto was being a pervert.

Meanwhile, Naruto was chatting with Kyuubi about the seal, which was pretty much gone. _'So Vixen-chan, when do you think you'll be free? From where I stand I'd say a couple days?'_ he asked.

Kyuubi sighed **" Well that's where we hit a snag dumpling,"** she said in a glum voice.

Naruto quirked an eyebrow at that, _'Snag?'_ he asked.

"**We only have about 36 hours, and after that I will be free, but it won't be quiet or pleasant for either of us,"** She replied.

'_What do you mean exactly?' _Naruto asked with some caution.

"**It's going to feel like your entire stomach is being set on fire while simultaneously being ripped apart, while I have to go through the process of being removed from your body and creating a new body,"** Kyuubi explained.

Naruto raised both eyebrows at that and just said _'Damn'_

"**Yup,"**

'_Wait how is creating a body painful? I get the whole being ripped out part but how does creating a body hurt?'_ Naruto asked with slight confusion.

"**Because it takes concentration like no other and afterwards the headache is killer, just imagine a whole flock of screaming Sakuras in your head and you get the idea," **Kyuubi responded with a shudder. She hated making bodies for herself, the entire process required absolute and total concentration because you had to assimilate your mind and soul into a new body that had to be made with out flaw. The slightest imperfection in the body could result in death. One misplaced cell, not enough blood in your system, to little oxygen to the brain and you'd be dead within the hour. Kyuubi could do it, make no mistake, but it was just a bitch to do and left you with a HUGE headache because your mind has to connect with everything and its not gradual but instant, meaning she'd get her body, blink, pass out from information overload, and wake up with something akin to a hangover caused by seven shots of tequila.

Naruto grimaced at that. The chuunin exams started today and that meant his transformation from simple human to hanyou would be tomorrow during what he thought would be the more dangerous challenges. During the process he was positive he'd be vulnerable and he had no idea how long the process took. Besides that, it's kind of hard not to notice a demon's chakra being released. No doubt the genin would run screaming and Naruto would be more than likely attacked. Then again, his regenerative abilities were impressive as it were, if he was becoming a half demon, wouldn't his regenerative abilities just skyrocket to the point wounds healed almost instantly? _'Then again, best to test that theory when you could defend yourself than when they could actually kill you'_ Naruto thought with shrug.

'_Any ideas on what we should do?'_ Naruto asked.

"**Nope, the best we could do is get a reverse summon to Alala's hunting grounds until the process is over, but considering how you need all three teammates alive to get to the prelims, it would be stupid to leave your teammates alone for longer than, what? 5 minutes? 10?" **Kyuubi said with slight annoyance.

'_So just go with the flow and hope for the best?'_ Naruto asked.

"**Pretty much," **

Naruto sighed a bit at that. He didn't really like not having a plan, but in their current situation, improvisation would have to be implemented. Besides, never hurt to think on your feet, kept the mind sharp and made sure you kept your plans flexible. Naruto was interrupted from his musings when a poof of smoke heralded the arrival of Kakashi Hatake.

"YOUR LATE!" Sakura screeched.

"What was that Sakura?" Kakashi asked with his head tilted to the side. Sakura became confused and said it again but the one eyed nin just furrowed his brow.

"I think you made him go deaf," Sasuke said with a wary glance at the pink haired girl. Said girl paled and started panicking, screaming and shouting at her sensei with wild gestures.

Kakashi just stared in puzzlement till Naruto pointed at his ears and mouthed out take them out. In sudden realization, Kakashi removed the plugs that had been in his ears much to the anger/relief of Sakura and amusement of Naruto. Even Sasuke smirked at his sensei's antics.

"Right then you three, as you know the chuunin exams are today. You've already filled out the forms so just head to the academy and go to room 301," Kakashi explained. "You have about a half hour before the first exam starts so you may want to hurry," Kakashi said with an eye smile. Then before Sakura could protest, the man disappeared in a poof of smoke.

"Dammit! How are we going to reach the academy in 30 minutes?" Sakura shouted in anger. Sasuke just grunted and got ready to go when he was interrupted by a shout of "Summoning Jutsu!" and the sound of a giant poof of smoke.

Turning, Sasuke and Sakura beheld the sight of three hyenas, each one as big as a horse with grey fur, black spots and yellow eyes along with a mane of black fur that went from the base of the back of the neck to the middle of their backs except for one whose mane went to the crown of its head and shadowed its eyes.

"**Ok, who summoned us?" **asked the one with the hair in its eyes in a surprisingly feminine voice.

"Hey Shenzi! You think you, Banzai, and Ed could give us a ride to the academy?" Naruto asked with a big grin.

"**And why should we?"** asked the one on Shenzi's right in a gravelly annoyed voice. The last hyena, one with unfocused eyes a big grin and tongue lolling out of his head, nodded up and down comically, tongue actually slapping its head.

"**He's got a point, whats in it for us?"** asked Shenzi

Naruto smirked at that and pulled out a scroll. Wiping some blood on it, the scroll disappeared and in its place was an elephant's shinbone, something twice the size and width of Naruto, but the blonde carried it easily. Banzai looked surprised while Ed drooled at the sight of the bone.

"Give us a ride and the bone is yours," Naruto said, while dangling the bone in front of the ill-tempered hyena.

"**Deal!"** shouted the three hyenas, well two of them shouted; the other gave a loud yelping laugh. Without further ado, Naruto leapt onto Shenzi's back while the other two snatched up both Sakura and Sasuke by their clothes and sped off towards the academy.

**At the academy**

With a mighty thud all three hyenas landed in the front of the academy building. Naruto was sitting relaxed on top of Shenzi while Sakura was screaming to be let go from Banzai, whom was currently holding her by her long pink hair. Sasuke looked very annoyed as he tried to stop Ed from gnawing on his legs.

"Thanks for the ride guys! Here's your payment," Naruto called out to the hyena trio as he tossed the bone to them. Immediately the two males released their charges and flung themselves at the bone, all three disappearing in a poof of smoke with the elephant shin nowhere in sight.

"NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!" Sakura screeched angrily at Naruto while the Uchiha sent him a murderous glare.

"No time to listen to your mouth now Sakura, we have work to do. My hyenas got us here in time but unless you wish to stay a genin for the rest of your life, you may want to shut the hell up and get your unattractive ass into the building," Naruto stated as he walked briskly over to the academy doors.

Sakura was about to retort but, thought better of it and instead settled for a Sasuke. Glare ahead and brood. Upon looking back to see if his teammates were following, Naruto smirked upon seeing Sakura channeling her inner emo. It warmed his insane little heart to see he had brought the Uchiha closer to his fangirl.

Upon entering the academy, the three chuunin hopefuls progressed towards the third floor where the first exam was to be held. However a rather large crowd blocking their way stopped their progress. They watched as a boy, who looked like a miniature version of Gai, except with white wrappings all over his hands and forearms and minus the jacket, was knocked back by two Leaf ninja who were guarding the door. Naruto noticed that Tenten was helping this boy back to his feet and deduced that this must be the final member of Team 9.

"Let us in already!" cried one of the genin.

"No way kid, these exams are tough, and if you can't get past us then you'll just end up a bloody smear," stated one of the genin guarding the door.

"Yeah, we're actually doing you guys a favor, so just get lost," stated the other.

Naruto sighed at the genin in front of him and debated on whether he should reveal the genjutsu or not. On one hand, by not telling them he eliminated a good portion of the competition and upped his team's chances at survival but on the other hand, that would make the exams much more boring. Naruto knew for a fact he would be required to fight other opponents and even allowed to kill them and by eliminating these opponents he denied himself the chance at testing out his new skills and the thrill of a fight. Besides, with more teams, it was less likely his team would be targeted in the upcoming exams. Before the blonde could reach a conclusion, mister 'cool' decided to act.

"Oi, drop the genjutsu!" Sasuke ordered causing everyone to look at him.

"What are you talking about?" asked a random student.

"He means that you all need to work on your arithmetic," Naruto stated with a smirk. "Tell me, what floor are we on?" asked the blonde.

"The second floor," a boy said immediately.

"Very good! Here's a treat," Naruto stated as he tossed a biscuit at the boy. "Now what room is the first exam in?" Naruto asked in a sickeningly sweet voice.

"Room 301," stated the boy who Naruto had thrown the biscuit at. Surprisingly said boy was eating the biscuit, well, surprising to everyone who hasn't met an Inuzuka for that's what the boy was.

"Excellent! Here's another treat my smart little friend," Naruto exclaimed in a voice dripping with sarcastic pride. "Now if room 101 is on the first floor and room 200 is on the second floor, why would room 301 also be on the second floor?" Naruto asked. Immediately the light bulb went off and there was the sound of collective face palm. "Ahh, music to my ears!" Naruto stated as he started to walk away.

"You son of a bitch!" screamed a random boy as he moved to strike the blonde. Naruto was about to retaliate when none other than the mini Gai blocked both attacks. Naruto quirked an eyebrow at the speed the boy displayed, but he couldn't say he was too surprised. Gai prided himself on his speed and if this was a mini me of the man, then he was obviously taught speed and power front and foremost.

"Lee! I thought said to keep our abilities hidden!" Tenten scolded the bowl cut haired boy.

"But Tenten-chan I-" Lee started only to be interrupted by the rude arrival of one certain Hyuuga.

"Our element of surprise has been spoiled, there is nothing we can do about it so move on to the third floor," Neji ordered coldly. With that, he sent a glare at the Uchiha and moved on, his teammates following behind. Soon, team 7 followed them but was stopped once again, this time by Rock lee himself.

"Uchiha Sasuke I challenge you to a duel!" stated the boy loudly.

"As much as I'd love to see Mr. Sad sack-less get his ass kicked, I'm afraid we're running late so he must respectfully decline," Naruto stated, moving up the stairs already.

"Hmph, this won't take long," Sasuke stated as he got into his stance. Naruto rolled his eyes and sat down to watch the show. There's just nothing quite like watching a pompous fool get his arrogant ass kicked.

As he predicted Sasuke was getting creamed. No matter what Sasuke tried, Lee was simply much faster than him, and, judging by the kick that sent Sasuke up into the air with a look on his face that screamed agony, the green clad boy was also much stronger.

Naruto watched as Sasuke started to fall head first into the ground when Lee appeared behind him, also upside down. The bowl cut youth's bandages then started to wrap around Sasuke when suddenly, the bandages were pinned to a wall by… a pinwheel? As soon as Naruto felt the presence of Maito Gai, the blonde left, not wishing to be any later than he already was.

Soon the blonde approached the double doors to room 301 and was surprised to find his sensei leaning against a wall.

"Hey Naruto, whats up?" Kakashi asked pleasantly. He looked around then asked, "Where's Sasuke and Sakura?"

Naruto chuckled at that, "He's getting his ass kicked by one of Gai's students and Sakura stayed to watch," Naruto said with a shrug. "If I'm right, Gai probably appeared to stop Lee from doing a move that should never be done on a comrade, punished him, then they probably did that man hug thing of theirs," Naruto stated nonchalantly. He paused though with a thoughtful look, "Though where the heck does that genjutsu of theirs come from? It doesn't use chakra or handsigns," the blonde asked.

Kakashi just shrugged and decided to wait for the other two like Naruto. **"Actually I know where that genjutsu comes from,"** Kyuubi stated. Interested, Naruto tuned out the real world for a second.

'_Really? Then how does it work?'_ asked the blonde with intrigue.

"**The process is a bit like killing intent," **Kyuubi started, **"Killing intent uses a concentration of hatred or intimidation to make the victim see their own deaths, however, the genjutsu that the two green guys use is fueled by what you humans call 'guy love'"**

There was a pause for a second. _'So basically you can make genjutsus with just emotions? And if you make one out of pure guy love it looks like a waterfall with a rainbow?'_ Naruto asked.

"**Its mostly just for show, the only emotional genjutsu that's actually effective is killing intent, but then again, its easily dispelled"** Kyuubi explained.

'_Then how do you dispel the man hug genjutsu?'_

"**You know what they say, nothing can destroy true love and there is hardly any love truer than guy love"** answered the vixen sagely.

The blonde just shrugged and decided he'd stay satisfied with the answer, no reason to use more brainpower than necessary right? As the blonde finished he saw Sasuke and Sakura approaching, though it was more like Sakura dragging Sasuke because of the thrashing he took from Lee. _'Wonder if he used his sharingan in that fight?'_ Naruto mused.

"Ah it seems you're all here," Kakashi said, "That's good, because if even one of you had not come then none of you wold be able to enter the exams," he finished with an eye smile.

Sakura of course freaked out and asked what the point was while Sasuke got really annoyed at that bit of information. If either one of his teammates had chickened out he would have lost hi chance at getting stronger. Naruto was unfazed. He knew an entire team was needed and he would have just made two shadow clones henged as his teammates if neither showed up or if one was missing. He was actually surprised when Sakura signed up.

Team 7 then walked into the exam room where they were met with a squeal of "Sasuke-kun!" A platinum blonde haired girl clad in a purple dress that left little to the imagination of course followed this; the girl's name was Ino Yamanaka. Currently she had latched on to Sasuke like her life depended on it, which in turn caused Sakura to get in a screaming match with her. During this the other genin were trying to intimidate the new arrivals but that was quickly dispelled when

Naruto unleashed some of his own KI.

Naruto just tuned the girls out and walked up to Ino's teammates, Shikamaru Nara and Chouji Akamichi. Shikamaru was easily defined as lazy genius; his constantly bored looking eyes never missing a beat. He had black hair tied into a ponytail that made him look like a pineapple with matching black eyes. He wore a mesh shirt underneath a gray short sleeved jacket with the Nara clan symbol on both shoulders, his headband was tied around his left arm, a hoop earring in both ears, brown pants and standard shinobi sandals.

Chouji was a rather rotund brown haired person with swirls on his cheeks. He too had a hoop earring in each ear and wore a green short jacket over a white T-shirt with the kanji for 'eat' written on the front. He also wore large white scarf, grey shorts, bandages on his legs and forearms, standard shinobi sandals and wears his headband bandanna style.

"Yo Shikamaru, what's up?" Naruto greeted the lazy boy. "Gotta say never expected your lazy ass to be here,"

"My mom made me," the Nara stated in a bored tone.

"Ha! Something tells me that in the future, you're going to be completely pussy whipped Nara," Naruto stated with a laugh. Shikamaru just grunted while Chouji stuffed his face with chips.

"How the hell did you get into the exams Uzumaki?" asked a voice from behind our blonde maniac. Turning Naruto smirked as he saw the final members of the rookie nine, Team 8. Team 8 was composed of Shino Aburame, Hinata Hyuuga and Kiba Inuzuka. Kiba wore a dark grey sweatshirt with a fur-lined hood and matching shorts with the standard blue shinobi sandals. He had red fang like triangles under his slit eyes and atop his brown hair was a white dog named Akamaru. Hinata wore a baggy beige jacket with flame symbols on the shoulders and standard shinobi shorts with the standard sandals. Her head band was around her neck and she had midnight blue hair that was cut short with two bangs framing her face that housed lavender tinted white pupil less eyes. Lastly, Shino had a long tan trench coat that had a high collar that covered his face up to his nose, along with perfectly round shades to hide his eyes and brown hair. He also wore the standard shinobi shorts and sandals with his headband in the traditional fashion and place. "Why does all of team 8 wear jackets except for their sensei? Seriously its like "Join the club we have jackets!" While I'm at it why does all of team 10 have earrings? It doesn't make sense!)

"Well seeing as the writer is done with his rant my answer to your question dog-breath is that I signed up," Naruto responded with a smirk. With that he pointedly ignored the dog boy and started to observe the other competition. For the most part, the blonde was unimpressed except for the teams from Suna, Oto and Kusa. There was something about the redhead with the gourd on his back that told Naruto to be extremely careful.

"**Oh Kami please no,"** Kyuubi moaned.

'_Eh? Whats up Vixen-chan?'_

"**I'm pretty sure that Suna kid has the Ichibi sealed inside of him," **she replied in a kill me tone.

'_Ok but why are you acting like that's a bad thing? Granted he'll be a bit of a problem but nine tails beats one'_

"**Ichibi is an insane pervert that never leaves me alone,"** Kyuubi explained.

While this had been going on Naruto had missed the introduction of a silver haired bespectacled genin named Kabuto. He had just finished saying that he had a ton of information because he had taken the exams seven times.

"If you need information about people just ask me and I'll see what I've got with my ninja info cards," stated the boy.

"What info do you have on a guy named Rock Lee and Naruto Uzumaki?" Sasuke demanded

"Also do you have any info on a red haired sand ninja with a gourd strapped to his back?" Naruto asked.

"Ok lets see here," started the boy as he pulled out three cards, "Rock Lee of Konoha has completed 25 D-ranks and three C-ranks. He has absolutely no nin or genjutsu to speak of but his taijutsu is off the charts. Teammates are Tenten and Neji Hyuuga and Jounin sensei is Maito Gai," stated the boy "The boy with the gourd on his back is Gaara no Sabaku, completed 25 D-ranks 15 B-ranks and four A-ranks and if that isn't impressive enough, he came back without a single scratch on him," Kabuto stated with some surprise. "he also has a mastery over manipulating sand,"

"**Definitely Ichibi jinchuuriki, most likely use a sand shield if the without a scratch thing is anything is to go by"** Kyuubi stated. Naruto mentally noted that the best way to get past the shield would be with a piercing attack, most likely lightning based.

"Lastly, Naruto Uzumaki, completed 25 D-ranks and two A-ranks," started the boy before he was interrupted.

"Two A-ranks? But our team has only completed one A-rank!" Sakura protested.

"He's most likely referring to my find of Kyoufushou's notes. I turned some of them in but kept the majority for myself," Naruto stated nonchalantly.

Kabuto nodded at that and continued "Naruto also holds a summoning contract for hyenas, some strong ninjutsu, no genjutsu to speak of, a formidable taijutsu and a very interesting control over shadows," Kabuto finished.

"**Naruto be very careful, this guy smells like snakes, same for those Oto nin and the Kusa nin,"** Kyuubi stated with a growl As she was speaking, Kabuto made a statement about the sound nins which caused them to attack the silver haired nin. A bandaged hunchback dude swung at him but apparently missed. However, Kabuto's glasses broke and he ended up vomiting from the frequency produced by the hunchback's strange arm contraption. Before things could escalate, there was a giant poof of smoke and when it cleared there stood Ibiki with a congregation of chuunins armed with clipboards.

"Alright maggots shut up and take your seats or I fail you here and now!" barked the interrogator, "The first exam begins now!" Quickly everyone took a designated eat and listened as the proctor explained the rules. The first exam was apparently a written exam and the rules were that you have ten points and you get a point for each question you answer, There were nine questions and the lat one would be given after 45 minutes into the exam. Every time caught cheating and you lost two points. Caught five times and you are failed along with the rest of your team. As soon as Naruto saw the questions he knew there was no way he could answer these questions. Sakura and Shikamaru could, but everyone else would either have t sit there like a statue or cheat.

Looking around, Naruto noticed that everyone was cheating. The suna nin who wore a cat suit and make up, (Its war paint damn it!) was using a puppet disguised as a chuunin to get the answers while Gaara used the third eye technique. Kiba was using Akamaru while Shino used his bugs. Tenten used mirrors to get the answers while Sasuke and the Hyuugas used their doujutsus to get their answers. Ino used a mind transfer technique to get her answers from Sakura.

Shrugging, Naruto made a shadow clone under his desk and switched with it then quickly melted into the shadows so he was halfway between the shadow world and real world. Quickly, he jumped to a shadow beneath on of Tenten's mirrors and quickly transferred the answers he saw with his clone mentally. _'Well that was easy, five bucks says the last question has something to do with if we have the guts to take the last question'_ thought the blonde

**45 minutes later, after the rules for he tenth question are revealed**

"Those of you who are still here," Ibiki said with a dramatic pause, "have passed,"

There was silence then, "NANI?" people then started asking what the tenth question was and all that jazz until Ibiki explained that a ninja must be willing to go forward, despite the fact that there was an unknown factor.

'_Somebody now owes me five bucks'_ Naruto thought with a grin, Kyuubi just rolled her eyes at her container.

'_**When I get out of here you're going to get something a lot better than five bucks'**_ Kyuubi thought with a perverted grin.

A black ball of cloth that smashed through the window interrupted the thoughts of everyone. The ball then exploded revealing a banner that said "Your second exam proctors, the sexy and single, Anko Mitarashi and Zabuza Mamochi!" sure enough, standing in front of the banner was Anko in a sexy pose and Zabuza, who looked completely embarrassed. "Alright maggots! Time for the next exam!" Anko barked.

Ibiki leaned out from behind the banner and said "Anko, you're early again," Everybody got a sweatdrop at this while Zabuza just palmed his face and thought _'Kami kill me now'_

Anko blinked and observed the teams before her with a frown, "Yo Ibiki, there are like 21 teams here, what gives? You going soft on me?" she asked.

"no, we just have a pretty good crop this year, which doesn't surprise me considering who else is here," Ibiki stated while pointing at Naruto. Anko looked at said smiling blonde and got a very dangerous glint in her eyes along with a playful smirk.

"Doesn't matter, after this exam, more than half will be eliminated," Anko stated with a sadistic smirk.

This caused most of the genin to either pale or tense up. Our favorite psycho however just gave the biggest smile he could and thought _'Fun time'_

**A/N: Done! I'm so sorry this took so long but school started and I got held up with birthdays and homework (plus the Spanish teacher is a bitch, Damn you Senora Blanco!) Anyway updates will probably take a while so yeah sorry.**_  
_


	8. The transformation

**Laughter of the Broken**

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Demon/Summons speaking"**

'_**Demon/Summons thinking'**_

**A/N: So I got some complaints that Naruto wasn't very crazy last chapter and I agree but I really couldn't think of anything insane for him to do and I just wanted to get that chapter done with. This chapter I promise to bring the insanity and more than a little bloodshed. After all, you can't spell manslaughter without laughter!**

"Who the hell said it was ok to hold the chuunin exams inside my home?" Naruto shouted while all the genin looked at him like he was insane, well more insane. "What the hell is wrong with that old monkey? The least he could have done is told me! Now I'm going to look like a bad host, because I don't have any snacks or drinks prepared!" ranted the blonde. Everyone gave the blonde a strange look as he ranted about bad manners and how he didn't have time to clean. Sasuke and Sakura just sighed, as it was nothing new to them while Anko smirked a bit. If one thing was for sure the kid was entertaining.

"Alright blondie you can shut it," Anko barked at the blonde. Naruto just seemed to ignore her as he continued his rant, this time about how the tigers hadn't had their fur cleaned and would look absolutely disgusting. Anko got a tic mark at that and threw a kunai at the boy. As soon as the weapon grazed Naruto's cheek he stopped his rant and not seconds later Anko was lapping up the blood from his lightly bleeding cheek. "You have some tasty blood," Anko purred into his ear, "Be a shame if it got sprayed all over the forest because you don't know to keep your mouth shut," she said, confident she had finally freaked the teen out.

However Naruto did something no one expected. Twirling around the blonde grabbed Anko's head and rammed his lips against hers. Surprised, the girl had no time to react to Naruto's tongue invading her mouth and then caressing her own tongue. Just as she was melting into the kiss and about to fight back with her own tongue the kiss had ended with the blonde smacking his lips and hand on chin in a thoughtful manner.

"You know you're right," he said with a grin, "My blood is delicious!" he proclaimed. With that the blonde grabbed two shot glasses and a kunai from his trench coat and in one swift motion, cut his palm open and poured the blood into the glasses. "Bottoms up!" he proclaimed before downing one of them and throwing the empty glass behind him, the object shattering on the face of a certain red headed Suna-nin.

"Um, Gaara..," said one of his teammates nervously, a boy clad in a black cat suit with purple war paint (its make up) on his face and some strange bandaged object on his back. "You okay," he asked, as some blood dripped down the red head's face, while the boy himself had a blank look the entire time.

"He dies, slowly… painfully…" replied the boy named Gaara "I don't care if mother wants his demon… he will die!" he said with a burst of killing intent to make his point across. His teammates just shuddered while the blonde girl thought. _'That kid is screwed'_

"Who wants some?" Naruto cried as he held the other blood filled glass out to everyone. Needless to say they all stepped back except for a female Kusa nin.

"I'll take ssome," the girl said with a slight hiss. With a grin the boy gave her the glass and she held it up in a toast "To your health," she hissed before downing the glass.

'_Dear god these guys are freaks!'_ thought one Hinata Hyuuga as she sent a disgusted look at the blonde and girl. Hinata was a rather, er, 'mean' girl… ok because of constant shunning from her family, Hinata had devoted EVERYTHING into her training and was only rivaled by her cousin Neji, but because of this, she had KILLED her social skills and looked down on everyone. She was a grade A, top of the class, cream of the crop, BITCH! She just wore a tight muscle shirt that showed off her flat stomach and borderline D-cup breasts along with some tight pants that stopped at mid-shin with a kunai holster on her right thigh and high-heeled shinobi sandals. She also had waist length midnight blue hair and a permanent icy look in her lavender pupil less eyes. "If you two freaks are done drinking tainted blood how about miss slutty here starts the second exam?" she demanded in a cold voice.

Anko frowned and was about to put the girl in her place when she heard a bang go off and saw a cut appear on the Hyuuga's cheek, whose eyes were wide with surprise. Turning she saw Naruto with his gun out, grinning like a mad man at the Hyuuga heiress. "Sorry about that, I was actually aiming to take your eye out, but it seems my sights need some adjusting or…" sinking into his shadow he reappeared behind the girl, mouth next to the Hinata's ear and gun barrel digging into her head painfully, "I could just shoot from here," he whispered in a psychotic giggle. Suddenly his voice changed as he dug a little more into the girl's head with the weapon, "Now listen Hyuuga," he said in a cold, dead voice, "insult her again and you WILL wish I had blown your brains out with a bullet," With that the blonde disappeared once more into his shadow and next to his teammates.

Hinata just stood there, stunned at what the boy had said and done. NO ONE had ever talked to her like that. No one had even gotten that close to her before except for in spars. Well, Kiba had tried once and ended up in the hospital for about five days. _'That boy… is interesting'_ she thought with a slight smirk as she glared at the blonde.

Anko saw the glare and smirked as well. _'This promises to be a very interesting exam'_ Anko mentally snickered.

**20 minutes later in the forest of death**

Basically, the test was a survival challenge. Each team had either had a heaven or earth scroll and had to get the opposite of their scroll from another team. Once they had the scroll they had to get to the tower in the center of the forest. They had five days to get the needed scroll, killing was allowed, they weren't allowed to look at the contents of their scroll until they made it to the tower and they had to have a full team and both a heaven and earth scroll in order to pass.

Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were sitting high in a tree trying to make a plan. "The first thing we need to do is find out who will carry our heaven scroll," Sasuke stated, "I can't take it because the other teams will believe the strongest has it, so I can't take it," he said as Sakura looked at him with hearts in her eyes. Naruto, however, had summoned up four clones and was playing Russian roulette with them. Surprisingly, the four he summoned were Ichi, Ni, San and Shi

"My turn!" said an excited San as he put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. There was only a click, signifying he the bullet had still yet to be shot. "Aww, looks like you're up Ichi!" San chirped happily. Ichi just rolled his eyes and grabbed the gun. The clone stared at it, a little scared that the bullet might be shot. A clone may only be mad of chakra but they still felt pain and a bullet in the brain was not a very pleasant feeling to have.

"What's wrong Ichi? Scared?" asked Shi in a dead voice.

"Shut up Shi!" Ichi shot back, "I ain't scared of some stupid bullet!" he declared. With that, the clone put the gun to his head, charged in some chakra and pulled the trigger. With a bang, the bullet dispelled the clone as all the Naruto's laughed at their brother's unfortunate luck, except for Ni who just rolled his eyes and lied down to sleep. Giggling Naruto resummoned a very pissed clone. "Assholes stop laughing! That fucking hurt!" Ichi exclaimed as he sent a furious glare towards the other clones and original.

"Would you stop messing around?" yelled Sakura at her teammate and his clones. "This is serious and Sasuke-kun is trying to make a plan!" she lectured.

"Yes I know," Naruto stated with a dismissive wave. "Mister tomb and gloom wants someone to carry the scroll but he says he can't carry it because he'd be the first person people would attack to get it, which is wrong because EVERYONE will be doing the same thing," Naruto replied while picking at his fingernails.

"And what does that mean dobe?" Sasuke growled.

"Easy, any ninja worth his salt would know to give the scroll to the least likely person, in other words the weakest member, but a better ninja knows this thinking and gives the scroll to the most likely choice which would be the strongest on the team, but an even better ninja would give the scroll to the middleman who is neither the weakest nor the strongest but the best ninja has an even better idea and hides the scroll by either making a decoy, henging it to look like something else and so on," explained the blonde.

Sasuke seemed to look like he understood but was inwardly confused. Sakura on the other hand voiced her confusion by screeching in a volume that would make a howler monkey jealous, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

As everyone tried to regain their hearing Ichi made his opinion known. "You are the loudest bitch I have ever known! If anyone has to wonder if you're a screamer the answer is obvious!" he shouted. "Though who ever does the horizontal mix with you is going to be deaf after foreplay!" grumbled the clone while Shi nodded in agreement.

"Seriously, you really need to watch your voice volume," Shi stated.

"And why should I?" demanded Sakura. Suddenly, the whistling of thrown kunai was heard and Team 7 along with the clones quickly leapt to the forest floor to avoid no less then fifty kunai thrown at them. Suddenly from the ground appeared hundreds of Ame-nins wearing ugly yellow skintight full body suits and rebreathers started to form from the ground.  
"Mostly because that mouth of yours may be perfect for taking more than one cock in your mouth, but its going to get us killed," Ichi declared with a growl as he took up a defensive position along with his lookalikes.

"Hand over the scroll and you won't die," declared one of the Ame-nins but it was being thrown all over the place.

"What do we do?" Sakura asked fearfully. In answer, Sasuke activated his sharingan while Naruto and his clones each armed themselves with a kunai in each hand.

"All right fellas, a five six seven eight!" the original proclaimed as he snapped out a fast beat with a giant grin on his face. With that all five Narutos leapt into the fray and started to slice away at what was a mixture of simple bunshin and earth clones.

Ichi laughed maniacally as he brutally slaughtered the Ame clones but snarled every time he was rewarded only with a disappearing illusion or some earth hitting the dirt. "Come out and fight cowards! Let me taste your blood!" he commanded before ripping out an earth clone's neck.

Ni seemed bored as he did the bare minimum to avoid attacks and dispel the earth clones. He yawned as an earth clone tried to decapitate him but avoided the strike by barely leaning back then dispelled the clone with a simple kick to the family jewels. "Troublesome," he muttered before backhanding another simple bunshin.

San and Ni were working back to back as they played a game of twenty questions. "Are you male?" San asked while stabbing two clones.

"Yes," replied the logical clone as he parried a strike then kicked the earth clone away.

"Are you a Konoha shinobi,"

"Yes"

"Do you hide most of your face?" San asked while upper cutting a simple bunshin.

"Hai," replied the logical clone.

"Are you Kakashi?" finished San as he used a shadow spike to kill another earth clone.

"Correct!" Shi exclaimed while using a knife strike against another one.

The original was laughing as he swung a shadow sword around. Cutting left and right with seeming no regard to any danger sent his way. For the most part, the boy seemed drunk as e swung the wind infused shadow sword around. "Ring around the rosie! Pockets full of posies! Ashes, ashes we all fall down!" sang the blonde as he spun, sending a burst of wind chakra through his sword, cutting through the last of the clones near him.

'_Where are they?'_ Sasuke thought as watched the battle. Throughout the entire battle the boy had used his sharingan to try and find the source of the seemingly endless clones, but he had found nothing but chakra constructs. _'They must be attacking from a distance!'_ Sasuke realized. This time he looked at a clone and found a small trail of chakra leading back towards a large branch covered with leaves. Smirking the boy did some quick handseals before inhaling deeply. "Katon: Spitfire jutsu!" Sasuke declared as he spat a fireball into the hiding place.

Eyes widening in fear, the three Ame-nins jumped from their hiding place out into the open. Before they could say anything they found themselves being attacked by a very bloodthirsty Ichi. "Finally!" roared the clone in satisfaction. With that, the blonde grabbed one of the Ame-nin, quickly slicing the tendons in the shinobi's legs and yanking with all his might on the arms of the nin, causing them to pop out of their sockets rather painfully if the unfortunate ninja's screams were anything to go by.

His teammates rushed to help but found themselves being held in place by the other shadow clones via the Nara clan style shadow possession jutsu. "Just sit back and enjoy the show," the original declared before turning back to Ichi.

"No! Please stop!" begged the ninja "Mercy!" he cried.

"All out of mercy," Ichi grunted as he sat on the Ame-nin's back. He then grabbed the sides of the ninja's head and began to pull. "All we have left is bladeless DECAPITATION!" he roared with primal glee. And with that, Ichi ripped the screaming ninja's head off, pulling the spine out with it. For a second, a strangled scream tore from the ninja's body while the face contorted into a visage of agonizing pain. Spraying a fountain of blood, the body fell to the ground, spraying all of its precious floods on the forest floor while the light in the ninja's eyes faded but the face stayed the same.

"Look like you're out of the game," Ichi whispered as he panted. The clone was currently coming down from his adrenaline high he had gathered from fighting and killing the ninja whose head was now in his hand. With a grin, Ichi grabbed the spine that was sticking out of the head still and swung it like a club. With a sickening splat, the organic weapon smashed against a tree and exploded in a shower of blood, bones and brain matter. "Well I'm satisfied, see you guys later," Ichi said in a happy chirp before dispelling.

Shrugging Naruto pulled out his gun and killed the other two nins with a bored look while his other clones dispelled as well. "You have some serious problems dobe," Sasuke stated as he sent a disgusted look towards the remains of their enemies. Sakura just looked pale and ready to puke at a moments notice.

"This coming from the boy whose family used their insane founder's plot to take over and enslave its own comrades with the unwilling help of a smoking hot demon and an eye that requires you to kill your best friend just to upgrade then go blind every time you use them," Naruto replied coolly as he started to search for the scroll, smirking slightly as he saw Sasuke tense up and dart his eyes towards Sakura nervously, "and don't even get me started on your obsession to kill your brother, the ONLY competent Uchiha and the fact you throw every girl who approaches you away then go after the women who want nothing to do with you," sighing Naruto frowned as he pulled up a heaven scroll.

"Sasuke doesn't have problems!" Sakura nearly yelled, "You're the one who keeps killing everyone! You laugh at the pain you cause and even your clones get a sick pleasure in killing people in the most brutal ways I've ever seen!" Sakura ranted. Naruto just tuned her out while he sealed away the remains of the three enemy ninjas into his replacement scroll.

"So what do we do now?" Sasuke asked quietly to himself. He watched as Naruto took one of the heaven scrolls and dropped it into his shadow, where it just disappeared. Blinking Sasuke frowned at that. "Oi, dobe," he said catching a curious look from Naruto. "How do you do that shadow thing?" the Uchiha demanded.

"Why?" asked the blonde.

Sasuke bit back his usual Uchiha elite reason and said "Because what if we need to grab the scroll and you're not around or unconscious?" Sasuke inquired, "If you show us how to use the shadows like you do, then we could grab the scroll without your help," Sasuke said with a smirk confident he'd reasoned with the blonde and said boy would show the Uchiha all his tricks. The only problem with Sasuke's idea… Naruto's insane.

"No," Naruto stated simply.

"What?" Sasuke asked in disbelief

"I said no, as in I'm not teaching you jack shit," Naruto stated simply.

"And why not? Can't you see the reason to do this? What if we have to give up our scroll in order to live, but you're knocked out? We'll end up failing because one of us died!" Sasuke half shouted.

Naruto just shrugged. "That's your problem, and before you explain slash complain, reason holds no water to one with a broken mind nor does complaints because frankly," here he turned and gave the Uchiha a big grin "I couldn't give a flying ass fuck what you think needle dick,".

Naruto laughed at his teammate's gob smacked expression before a giant gust of wind blew through the trees, lifting Naruto up and blowing him away "Curse you Boreas of the north wind!" cried the boy as he was blown away while Sakura slammed into a tree and fell unconscious. Sasuke had somehow used chakra to stay where he was but he immediately wished he hadn't as a certain female Kusa-nin appeared.

"Hello… Sasuke-kun, ku ku ku," chuckled the snake like kunochi. With that, she froze the Uchiha in place with killing intent before slowly walking forward.

'_Shit'_ he thought as he was now frozen in place.

**With Naruto, seven iles south of his original position**

'_Damn, that hurt'_ thought the blonde as he ripped himself out of the tree he was embedded in. Frowning, the blonde saw that his arm was dislocated so with a sigh the boy grabbed it and snapped it back into place with a shallow grunt of pain. "You'd think Boreas would get over that loss already," the boy muttered as he observed his surroundings, "I only beat him at poker and took his life savings and then banged his wife but seriously, not cool!" he shouted while shaking a fist towards the north.

"**You done living in your fantasy world yet?" **Kyuubi deadpanned.

'_For the moment why?'_ asked the blonde.

"**Because you're about to be devoured by a snake the size of a bijuu's dick,"** she declared. Looking up, the boy saw a giant snake about to do what a fat guy does to most food, eat their food without bothering to chew.

"My grandma what big tee-," the blonde was cut off as he was ingested by the giant snake. Gulping, the giant reptile gave a satisfied hiss and decided to see if his summoner had finished his task. However he stopped slithering and froze in confusion as he felt something queer in his stomach, he felt more full.

Meanwhile in the snake's belly Naruto had been trying to summon an army of shadow clones in order to burst the snake open but instead he had only summoned up his usual clones.

"Where the hell are we?" Ichi shouted

"If I had to guess I believe we are in a snake's belly," replied Shi as he and the others used chakra to stop from falling into the snake's stomach acid.

"Wow! Not everyday you get to witness digestion first hand!" San said happily as he observed their surroundings.

"This sucks," Ni said simply.

'_Ok why did I only summon four clones? And why is it that these four are always the ones to be summoned?'_ Naruto asked his tenant and lover.

"**Well. As for why there are only four, I've cut off most of your chakra for the transformation process so you've got about a tail and a half's worth of chakra to use because I need some to create a body and you're going to need every ounce of chakra you want for this to go over without a hitch," **Kyuubi explained. **"Remember your entire chakra network is going to be remade and in order for that to happen, you need at least 4 tails worth of chakra and I need another three tails worth to make a body!" **warned the trapped demon.

"**As for the clones, I think they might be what you call familiars,"** Kyuubi supplied.

'_Aren't familiars supposed to be summoned animals or something like that?'_ Naruto asked.

"**Most of the time but Kage Bunshin is a bit like summoning so that if you summon a certain clone enough times, it ceases to become a clone but rather another entity. Granted, they still obey every order you give as well as send you any memories they have, but they're now their own people, apparently these five are YOUR familiars,"** Kyuubi explained.

Naruto thought for a moment on that, _'But people who summon usually only have one familiar, why do I have four?'_ he asked.

"**Normal people have one familiar, YOU summon five clones as easily as someone makes one clone. And seeing as Kage Bunshin is just a bastardized version of a summoning and cloning technique, its not impossible for you to have familiars like this,"** she stated in a somewhat annoyed voice. **"If you're done we might want to get out of here seeing as you're going to go through the transformation process in less than oh say AN HOUR!"** she shouted.

'_One more question'_ the blonde replied. _'Where the hell do the clones GO when they disappear?'_

"**They…"** she started only to blink and ponder on that question. Where DID they go? She would have said they just vanished and were born from different parts of Naruto's personality and thoughts with the chakra creating their body and minds, but that didn't seem correct. Clones only knew what the original did and could use that info in any way they wished which led them to have independent thought which allowed them to be able to gather info. Yet these four clones had shown that they knew things that the original DIDN'T, a prime example being that Ni, the lazy clone, figured out you could combine shadow chakra with wind chakra. The thing was, Naruto hadn't even known you could combine elements like that, hell, he didn't even know how to channel wind chakra yet when Ni dispelled, he figured out how! Kyuubi would have dismissed it that Naruto had read it somewhere, but to manipulate wind chakra, even with an army of shadow clones, took at least a month to grasp and another week to master! Yet Ni had easily been able to manipulate both shadow and wind. The only logical conclusion was that Ichi, Ni, San and Shi weren't clones!

"**I have no idea…**" Kyuubi responded.

Naruto just shrugged and decided it was a mystery to be solved at another time, right now they had to get out of this snake and back to their teammates. "ok guys, we need a plan to get out of here, and I don't think using the entrance or exit is a good idea," the original said to his lookalikes. "Any suggestions?"

"We could try to make him vomit us up," San chipped in.

"The stomach acid would rise and most likely kill us if we tried that," Shi explained.

"Then why don't we just use the shadows and walk out?" asked Ichi.

"No shadows are in here because there's no light," Ni drawled.

"Well then what can we do?" the original asked.

There was quiet for a bit before Ichi gained a devilish smile. "Then lets try doing THIS!" he roared with glee. Before anyone knew what was happening, the violent clone had taken every bit of chakra it had and started to spin it in between his hands. Grinning madly, the boy then channeled wind chakra into it, causing a sharp whistling sound to be heard and for the chakra to form what appeared to be a buzz saw. With a roar, Ichi charged with his new weapon and plunged it into the walls of the snake's stomach.

At first, nothing happened. Then, the blade cut through the snake before it exploded due to lack of chakra control. The snake itself would have roared in pain but it could only hiss in agony as the other Naruto's made their escape.

"Well that was an interesting technique," Ni observed as he and the others leapt into a branch to watch the snake slowly die, a mixture of its own stomach acid and blood spilling everywhere. The cut itself seemed to go around a fourth of the snake and it was obvious the snake would die in a matter of minutes, due to blood loss and being digested by it's own stomach acid.

'_Kyuubi was right, no way are these just clones'_ Naruto thought while glancing at his familiars.

"Right boys, I think its about time we go see what our teammates are up to," Naruto stated. The remaining three nodded and leapt off with San, Shi and Naruto in the lead while Ni followed behind them at a lazy pace. "Now where or where could those two be?" Naruto wondered. "Hmm. Where would an emo and his fangirl go if they were alone with each other in the middle of a forest of death?"

Everyone stopped when they heard a perverted giggle from Shi and saw him with a lecherous smirk on his face. Shi turned to them and just shrugged, "Are you seriously surprised that one of your clones is an emotionless logic as well as a pervert?" he asked. They just shrugged and were about to run again when they heard the scream of one Sasuke Uchiha. "Kinky," Shi stated with a perverted chuckle as he leapt off towards the scream with the others soon following.

The scene they arrived upon was one Sasuke Uchiha clutching his neck while some strange seal appeared on it along with a terrified Sakura, and some very pale long black haired man with facial features like a snake just chuckled at the scene. "Soon Sasuke-kun, you will be mine!" he hissed.

"Ok he's obviously a pedophile," Naruto deadpanned as he watched his teammates pass out, one from pain and the other from fear (pa-freakin-thetic). The snake man then began to walk away. "Ok guys, we may have a bit of an issue seeing as how one of the sannin has immobilized our teammates and has most likely given Sasuke some weird hickey," Naruto told his clones.

"So what do you want us to do boss?" San asked excitedly.

"Ni, take duck ass hairdo and miss scream to a safe spot, maybe one of Tsuru's labs," the original ordered. Ni shrugged and jumped to the two before shadow walking them out of the place. "San, go to the hokage and tell him what's happened and Shi, summon Ichi and go help Ni defend the location he picked," he finished. The two nodded before dashing off.

Once they were gone Naruto began to jump from his branch and pursued the snake.

"**What are you doing?"** Kyuubi practically shouted at her container, causing him to nearly crash into a tree. **"We have maybe FIVE MINUTES! Before the change occurs and you're chasing a fucking SANNIN!"** she roared.

'_I need to find out what he's doing, and this may be my only chance in a long time to kill him for what he did to us!' _Naruto growled.

"**You're going to get yourself killed is what you're going to do!"** she shot back angrily. **"We'll kill him after the change! Just be pa-" **she started to lecture the boy before being cut off.

'_NO! He will not get away from me!'_ Naruto roared in his head as he grit his teeth in fury and began to increase his speed. _'He killed your kits and the reason you were sealed inside of a human, he took Anko in, only to betray her and leave her for dead with holes in her memories! He's the reason I can't have a happy life! _"IT'S BECAUSE OF HIM I CAN'T HAVE ANY FUCKING PEACE OR HAPPINESS IN THIS FUCKING WORLD!" Naruto roared, releasing killing intent as branches began smashing under his feet as he leapt off them. As he ran, he recalled memories of beatings, the nightmares that had plagued his sleep for years and the voices that told him he was nothing, to give up and to just roll over and die.

Snarling the blonde finally saw the snake and gave a maniac laugh at the man as he pounced. Turning, Orochimaru's eyes widened in surprise but before he could do anything, Naruto had already tackled him to the ground and plunged his now clawed hand into the man's chest, puncturing the heart. Naruto, in his blood crazed stupor howled in victory only to leap off the now dissolving earth clone in shock and fury.

"Ah the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki! I was wondering where you went," hissed a voice in amusement. Naruto whirled around to see the snake man emerging from the tree they were on. The blonde soon to be demon snarled at the snake man and leapt again at him, his mind completely blinded by the desire to kill this one person.

Orochimaru just chuckled before he deftly sidestepped the enraged boy and backhanded the blonde into a tree. Groaning, the blonde tried to get up but was wrapped to the tree by a snake, arms and hands firmly pinned to his sides. "It seems the fox has taken over your little mind Naruto-kun," Orochimaru said softly. "I'd love to stay and chat but I've got things to do," he said dismissively.

Roaring, Naruto ripped the snake apart and charged at the snake sannin again, only to bb hit in the stomach by Orochimaru, his fingers glowing purple as he rammed them into Naruto's gut. Gasping, the boy hit the ground, bloodlust and demonic chakra gone, sealed away. "Now, now Naruto, Don't make me kill you, you're far too interesting," Orochimaru said in a sweet lecturing voice.

Naruto gave one more hate filled glare at the snake before giving a crooked smile, "Heh I'm FAR too strange to be killed," he replied. With that the boy fell unconscious while unbeknownst to the snake, the five-pronged seal that Orochimaru had put on his stomach had disappeared and the demon seal was glowing a very eerie yellow.

Just as the pedophile was about to leave, he was pinned to the tree by a snake being wrapped around him. "Been awhile, _sensei,"_ spat a voice. Appearing in front of him was none other than Anko, her eyes burning with hatred and a very sadistic smile on her face.

"Ah, if it isn't little Anko-chan, how have you been dealing with my gift," hissed the man. Anko growled at the man and walked forward. Without warning, she reached down and grabbed Orochimaru's pale hand in a strange seal.

"What are you doing?" asked the man in amusement, knowing full well what she was about to do.

"Oh nothing much, just making sure no one else has to deal with you," Anko smiled sweetly as she started to do hand seals. The she got a serious look, "I'm going to kill you, even at the cost of my own life," she declared.

However something very unexpected happened then. No, the snake didn't replace himself with a clone or sink into the tree. Naruto, who had been unconscious, suddenly started to scream. Surprised both snake users looked to see Naruto thrashing on the branch while a black and red chakra swirled around him violently, ripping apart his clothes and leaving him in tattered black shorts. With interest they watched as Naruto's body seemed to change, his hands turning into vicious claws while his hair turned lengthened and turned gray with tips akin to the color of dried blood. The goggles shattered to reveal slit black pupils, sickly yellow irises and the whites changed to a blood red. Naruto's body slowly started to change, growing stronger and taller till he looked like he was an extremely fit eighteen years old. Slowly the scream turned to laughter as his teeth became sharper and ebony black horns began to sprout from his fore head for about five inches, slightly curving back while his skin started to become a earthy red..

There was an explosion of chakra from the boy, causing everything to be bathed in an eerie red light, blinding the two onlookers. When it cleared they beheld Naruto, standing tall with a long thin devil tail with a spaded tip waving behind him and a very insane grin on his face. Next to him was a very beautiful red head with fox ears and nine tails waving behind her. The most notable feature about her was the fact that she was naked.

"Freedom!" she shouted in glee, only to sway drunkenly and give a giggle before hitting the ground out like a light.

Naruto grinned and said, "Now that Vixen-chan is free and I'm a demon, I'm going to pass out, good night," and with that, he too fell over, out cold with an arm draped over the unconscious Kyuubi's waist.

Quickly getting over his shock Orochimaru said to Anko "Don't stop he exams or Konoha will die," before sinking into the tree to ponder what the hell just happened.

Anko, alone with two unconscious demon's just thought one thing, _'What the fuck just happened?'_

**A/N: Another chapter finito! Ok read and review, blah, blah, blah, and here are the girls I will consider for the final slot in the harem!**

**Tenten**

**Haku**

**Tayuya**

**Choose or forever wonder what could of happened! Also I need someone to write a lemon for me sooner or later because you just can't have a harem fic without a lemon. So come volunteer or be left with my attempt at one! **


	9. Prelims and Bow chicka bow wow

**Laughter of the Broken**

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Demon/Summons speaking"**

'_**Demon/Summons thinking'**_

**A/N: Hello everyone! Lets get this next chapter started but first I believe we may have a winner for the final slot in the harem! The winner is… TAYUYA! Also, the Harley Quinn of the harem, well… THAT IS A SECRET! Now, on to the prelims! WOOT WOOT!**

The hokage stared at the demon boy and red headed vixen in front of him, resisting the urge to rub his temples to fight off his growing headache. Glancing to the side, he gave Anko a questioning look but the girl just shrugged. Sighing the hokage spoke slowly, "Let me get this straight, you, Naruto, went through a transformation process that not only granted you half of the Kyuubi's chakra, but also released the Kyuubi who is actually a girl and said Bijuu is now your mate?" asked Sarutobi.

"Yup," replied the boy, a grin on his face. Sarutobi noticed that the dead blue eyes he had seen before were gone, the pain and anguish replaced with an amused gleam and those intimidating yellow black and red eyes. The insanity was still there, make no mistake, it was just less intense, or at least, more controlled. _'He has horns, red skin and a tail and here I am looking at his eyes'_ Hiruzen thought sarcastically.

"This process also turned you into a demon?" asked the hokage.

"Half demon," corrected the Kyuubi, still naked due to the fact that Anko had immediately rushed them to the hokage's office not minutes after the transformation. "Could we please hurry this up, I would like to get some sleep as my head feels like its in a vice with fire coursing through it," whined the girl while rubbing her temples.

"A side effect from the separation I'm assuming?" asked the hokage.

"Yes, though could we please do this another time? My familiars are defending my teammates and if I'm correct, the teme just activated the snake's gift," Naruto replied as memories from a defeated Ni entered his mind. _'Lazy bastard used a hollow tree to hide them'_ grumbled the grey headed demon _'Serves him right, but someone better go take care of those sound nin and mister broody's gift'_

"I understand, Anko, take miss Kyuubi here to the tower in the forest of death, Naruto, as soon as you get to your team, head to the tower regardless if you have both scrolls or not," ordered the old man. Anko nodded before shushining out of the building with the fox demon.

"See ya soon monkey man!" Naruto laughed as he sank into his shadow. Sarutobi pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered something about ungrateful demons.

**With team 7**

Sasuke laughed as he started yanking off a screaming Zaku's arms, his entire being drunk with the power he had received from the curse mark that was spreading over his body like a cancer.

'_This power'_ thought the boy a crazed smile on his face _'Its amazing! Its just what I need to kill Itachi!'_ Sasuke mentally crooned. Suddenly he felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind. Surprised, the Uchiha turned to see a crying Sakura hugging him.

"Sasuke stop," sobbed the girl "This isn't like you! Please… just top," she cried tightening her hold on the boy. The teams 10 and 9 just watched in anticipation, waiting to se what would happen. Naruto's remaining familiars just watched the scene with varying amounts of disbelief.

"Um, shes kidding right?" San asked, currently wondering how dense the girl was. "She does know that Sasuke has always been like this, right?" he asked his brothers.

Ichi just snorted, "She's a fan girl, it doesn't surprise me," dismissed the violent blonde.

Shi just shrugged before pulling out a notebook and pencil from seemingly nowhere and started to write with a lecherous smirk on his face. "Pathetic as it is this is some great material! I can see it now! A boy tainted with evil saved by the love of a naïve girl!" crowed the clone before giggling perversely. Somewhere, near a hot spring, a white haired man felt immeasurable pride swell in his chest.

A smack to the back of the clone's head stopped the pervert from further writing as a demonic youth appeared from his shadow.

"Shi, I can understand that you're a pervert, but the battle zone is not the time to be writing smut," Naruto reprimanded his familiar, somewhat surprised his clone didn't dispel as soon as he hit it like his other shadow clones. That raised the question as to why Ni had been so easily dismissed. _'Lazy bastard probably dispelled himself on his own'_ thought Naruto as he fully emerged making everyone gasp at his appearance. Team 9 quickly revealed themselves as they took up a defensive stance against this obviously demonic entity, even Sasuke released a now unconscious Zaku as he watched this new creature. Everyone stared down the demon as he came several steps closer before stopping and just smirking at the teams of genin.

"Yes I know I'm only in tattered shorts but that doesn't mean you have to be amazed and or aroused, I am here simply to chew bubble gum and kick ass," here Naruto grinned evilly, "and I'm all out of bubble gum,"

"Naruto?" asked a very surprised Tenten, not quite believing what she was seeing.

"Hey Ten-chan," replied the blonde happily completely dropping the badass feel as it was replaced with a child like glee. "You'll never guess what happened! I got turned into a demon!" he said excitedly causing some to sweatdrop and others to fear. Sasuke however, his curse mark still active, said something different.

"You were always a demon dobe," he remarked, "Nothing has changed except that you finally decided to reveal your true form,' he said arrogantly. The people that knew Naruto immediately froze up in fear as they started to move behind the blonde and away from Sasuke. NO ONE called Naruto a demon for a very good reason.

Back in the academy, there had been a boy that called Naruto a demon once. The boy had walked into the classroom and Naruto had been sitting in his seat. The boy wasn't exactly bright and already was a bully, so he threatened Naruto with pain, which was bad in its self, but then the boy had called Naruto a demon. That same boy now had to drink all of his food through a straw, wear an eye patch due to his eye literally exploding, (don't ask) and had a crippled right hand mangled beyond all recognition Also, he had a scar on his head in the shape of the kanji for dumbass. That was when Naruto DIDN"T have full ninja training.

Without missing a beat, Naruto leapt at Sasuke and drove his fist deep into the Uchiha's gut. Twisting on his heel, the demon boy launched Sasuke into a tree. Surprisingly, Sasuke went straight through the tree before skidding to a stop on the ground.

Groaning the Uchiha tried to get up only to give a strangled cry as a black and red chakra claw extended out from the tree to grab Sasuke's face. The claw then retracted, dragging a surprised Sasuke with it before it stopped to reveal a grinning Naruto, his yellow irises glowing ominously.

"And now to finish this," said the Uzumaki. With that, Naruto tossed the Uchiha up into the air while forming a bat made out of shadows. Taking up a ready stance, Naruto held the bat ready to swing. "And theres the pitch!" he declared as the Uchiha descended, headfirst. With a wide grin, the blonde swung, making contact with the cursed boy's head and sending him flying. With a bone-crunching smack, the Uchiha hit the tree before hitting the ground with a dull thud, completely out cold. "And it's a home run!" roared the blonde with a demented cackle.

Needless to say, the Sound genin was more than a little freaked. _'Dear god, Orochimaru-sama never said anything about demons or the Uchiha having a curse mark! We need to get out of here fast!'_ thought the mummified Dosu. Heading over to his unconscious teammates, the boy hoped he would be able to get away before the attention was back on them. As he was about to leap off, he was surprised to find one of Naruto's clones stopping him with a kunai to his neck.

"Now where do you think you guys are going?" demanded Ichi, "You were trying to kill us earlier and now you're running away? I don't think so," Ichi drove his point home by applying some pressure to the kunai in his hand. Noticing the commotion, the Konoha shinobi surrounded the sound genin. With a shudder, Dosu watched as Naruto approached him, patting Ichi on the shoulder before sending a wolfish grin towards the trapped Oto ninja.

Thinking quickly the boy dug into his weapons pouch and produced an earth scroll. "If you let me and my team go, our scroll is yours," the boy stated with a shaky voice. Naruto cocked an eyebrow at this before snatching the scroll from his hands. Naruto then said one word, "Run,"

Dosu then took off as if the hounds of hell were on his tail. Chuckling, Naruto grabbed the unconscious Uchiha and a completely stunned Sakura. "If you'll excuse me, I'm needed by a certain old monkey, ja ne!" said the demon happily. In the next minute Naruto was sinking into his shadow, a screaming Sakura, who had finally realized what was happening, in tow.

"Oi! That bastard left us!" roared an irate Ichi, he was about to turn towards his brothers and complain some more when he saw them disappearing into the ground as well. "YOU BASTARDS!" Ichi yelled before he too vanished into the ground. Team ten and nine just stared before they too left the area, wondering how someone like Naruto wasn't in an asylum.

**At the tower**

Naruto grinned as he finally emerged from his shadow portal, a terrified Sakura and still unconscious Sasuke with him, but this time he was wearing some black pants no shoes and black shirt. The team had appeared in a mostly empty room with a riddle that said something about how if you had earth but lacked heaven you should seek knowledge and vice versa. Either way, Naruto ended up opening both scrolls where a chuunin appeared and congratulated them on passing then led them to the common rooms to wait till the other participants came. Shrugging Naruto made his way through the tower, exploring here and there before stopping at a very large arena where he saw none other than his clones San and Ichi sparring there, while Ni and Shi were watching, though there was a noticeable difference to them. The most notable being they didn't look like Naruto anymore.

Ichi was wearing absolutely no shirt and had a strange swirling red tribal tattoo on the right side of his body that went on his arm, over his right eye and chest. On his hands were two fingerless brown gloves with matching guards wrapped in chains. He was also wearing black cargo pants with a chain belt and skull buckle. On his feet were brown Greek styled sandals with matching shin guards. His hair, which was now black, was a crew cut blond with some streaks of grey and his eye color went from blue to a piercing red. In his hands was a naginata with a red tassel near the top and sheathed across his back were dual Dao swords with a iron handles wrapped in black leather with large rings on the bottom of them. Ichi had also grown quite large, a head taller than Naruto and he was ripped, as in,he could crush a diamond with one hand ripped.

San still had the same hair style he originally did though it was a much brighter blonde and seemed filled with life as his blue eyes showed no insanity or anguish but rather, child like glee and innocence, He was wearing a burnt orange jacket and black undershirt with some simple blue jeans and black sneakers lined with metal strips on the front, back, sides and bottom. On his hands were some metal gauntlets and Naruto was surprised to see they were the gauntlets the Demon Brothers had used. Another noticeable feature was that the clone was the size of a ten year old!

Naruto shifted his gaze towards Ni and Shi and was unsurprised to see that the lazy clone hadn't changed much of his clothing. He still wore the black trench coat, black pants, black shirt and black combat boots but that was where the similarity ended. The trench coat now had a hood and the goggles were replaced with a full black gas mask that hung from his neck and full black skintight gloves with a hidden blade device hidden under his wrists. It also appeared the blonde hair was now black and his eyes were a deep brown. His physical appearance was slim and he was about an inch shorter than Naruto.

Shi was wearing interesting clothes to say the least. On his head was a striped white and green bucket hat, with a dark green shirt and pants. He was also wearing a black coat with a white diamond patter near the bottom and completing his look was a pair of geta sandals on his feet. In his right hand was a cane while his left held a fan that hid part of his face and he was about an inch taller than Naruto.

"Hey guys whats up?" Naruto called to his not so similar clones. Ichi and San stopped fighting and walked up to greet their creator along with San and Ni, though Ni seemed reluctant to talk.

"Hey boss, we were just sparring, you know, passing the time," San informed him happily.

"K, but could you tell me why you're all… different?" Naruto inquired, "I mean, don't get me wrong Ichi, you look pretty badass but-"

"My name ain't Ichi anymore," interrupted the violent clone, "Its Senso," declared the no longer clone. Naruto blinked at that, they changed their names?

"Oookay, so what about the rest of you?"

"I chose Ko!" San said excitedly.

"Chie," Shi informed. _'Ero-Chie is more like it'_ thought Naruto.

Ni just stared at them before saying, "Kuro,"

"So your names are, War," Senso nodded, "Child," Ko gave a grin, "Wisdom," Chie just grunted, "and Black?" Kuro didn't even respond.

"Ok, that's interesting," stated the demon boy. He was about to leave when he remembered something. Turning he gave his clones a questioning look "So, since you guys aren't regular clones, where exactly do you go when I dismiss you?" Naruto asked.

All four clones looked at each other before giving Naruto a hesitant stare. "Naruto, trust me when we say you do not wish to know, not yet at least," Chie told the demon, the others nodding in agreement. Naruto cocked an eyebrow at that, before shrugging and walking off. Whatever it was, it wasn't immediately important, therefore, not worth his time.

"If you guys need me, I'm gonna be with Vixen-chan! Feel free to stay as long as you like but try not to draw to much attention to yourself," called the demon as he went in search of his lover.

The familiars all sighed in relief as their boss left the arena. "That was a close one," Senso muttered. Ko nodded in agreement before tackling his violent brother, restarting the fight. Chie and Kuro just watched their brothers fight, silently contemplating a very serious matter.

"When should we tell him?" Kuro whispered to the logical one who had hid his face behind his fan once more.

Sighing, Chie snapped it shut and just watched as Ko dodged getting beheaded, laughing like a child. "I truly don't know, Kuro, how exactly would you want to be told that you died?" he questioned.

**In another part of the tower.**

Naruto had just walked into the dormitory area of the tower when he saw the one demoness he had been searching for. Lounging on the couch was none other than the Kyuubi no Kitsune, though now she was wearing clothes, nothing much, just a red shirt and jeans, though thanks to the former human's now improved eye sight, he could see she wasn't wearing a bra and most likely not wearing panties either.

The fox demon looked up at the red skinned demon and gave a seductive smile "Hello Naru-kun," she purred, standing up and sashaying towards him. The grey haired demon blinked as a certain smell hit him, not arousal but rather, a smell similar to it. Naruto blinked at the smell before something in his mind told him what it was. Lust, pure lust!

Naruto smiled slightly as he felt his own desire stir within him self as the temptress took another step closer. Snaking her arms around his neck, the vixen pushed her body against Naruto's, "You know, I haven't tested my new body yet, want to take it for a spin?" she asked. Naruto inadvertently took a few steps back and backed into a door, causing Kyuubi to smile a little wider.

Naruto just chuckled and wrapped an arm around her waist, "Don't complain if I get a little rough with it," he growled. With that, he closed the distance between them and put his lips against hers. The vixen moaned in appreciation as Naruto fumbled with the doorknob.

**LEMON! SMALL CHILDREN LOOK AWAY!**

Finally opening the door the two stumbled into the room, too busy to really notice fine details but it was furnished with a lavish double bed that seemed out of place in such a drab tower but, again, neither occupant took any notice of it beyond what their minds played out what would happen atop it. The rest of the room had one doorway leading to a bathroom and a table next to the bed for placing various things before going to sleep.

Naruto nor Kyuubi were paying attention to their surroundings as they continued to maul each others mouths to get their partner in the mood. There was no love, no tenderness, just a raw need that the both of them wanted to sate.

The two separated only for Kyuubi's shirt to be ripped off her toned body and thrown away before Naruto stepped back in for more. Naruto thrust his tongue into Kyuubi's mouth as he let his hands caress her freed breasts. The two might be running on baser instincts but Naruto would not allow harm to come to those he deems good. As such, he did take care to not abuse her body.

Each of his hands gripped Kyuubi's bountiful chest and kneaded her flesh as he proceeded to work her body over. He could feel as her own hands ran all over his body and slipped under his shirt to trace his muscled body. He let his shirt be pulled off of him as they separated for breath and he smirked at Kyuubi's flushed face.

He bent down slightly and took a breast into his mouth and suckled her nipple as he kneaded her other breast with his hand and started to work her pants and panties off of her hips. He smiled internally as Kyuubi's hands shot to her own pants and drug them down so the offending clothing was out of the way. She threw them into the corner and stepped back while slightly spreading her legs. Kyuubi's red eyes pierced into Naruto's new eyes. He smirked as he beheld her new pussy lips for the first time.

Naruto got the silent question in her gaze and stance. He immediately threw her on to the bed and dragged her to the edge of the bed so her ass was barely on the bed. He dove into her honey pot and put her legs on his shoulders as he tasted her new body for the first time. He loved the pretty pink color that her nether lips were and marveled at his better eyesight. Even with the small amount of foreplay they had engaged in, her lips were glistening with juices.

As soon as he tasted Kyuubi's flavor he decided he quite liked it and dove in for more, literally ravishing her nether lips with his tongue. He let his tongue trace all the way from the bottom of her lips to her clit. One of Kyuubi's hands show to fist in his hair as she subtly moved his head around to hit all of her points perfectly. Her other was tweaking her own nipple in an attempt to help her arousal.

Naruto kept plundering his newfound drink as Kyuubi's moans and groans increased. He could feel his own arousal increasing as the tightness in his pants was ever growing. He smirked right before he stuck his tongue as deep as he could into Kyuubi's pot. He was pleased as he heard her moan particularly load and her hand fisted a bit harder.

Kyuubi loved how Naruto ate her out. He always was great when they would go at it in his mind. She groaned as he hit a particularly sensitive spot and could almost feel his satisfaction at drawing her moans of pleasure. She knew he enjoyed her moans and she moaned out a bit more than she would with someone else, simply because she knew it put him in the mood.

He sent his tongue all around inside her. He loved drawing moans from her. As he felt her walls starting to flutter in succession he decided it was time for him to bring her what she loved. He pulled his tongue from her pot and bit lightly on her clit. He gently rolled it around in his mouth and smiled as he heard her scream out her release while he drank her juices.

Kyuubi's eyes fluttered as she felt her first orgasm of the night hit her. She felt herself flood her juices down into his waiting mouth and swore she heard him gulping it down. She was always a gusher. As a demon, her regeneration kept her from being dehydrated even when she let loose such a deluge. She sighed as her body relaxed from her orgasm and she purred in pleasure as she felt him lick up her nether lips in preparation for what he wanted to do.

She quickly moved away from him so he couldn't take control and flipped herself so she was behind him. She pulled him up seductively and suddenly dropped down while grabbing her pants and freed his demonic cock. She loved his red skin. It matched her hair and eyes so perfectly. Her ears twitched as she heard a 'thwap' sound from his freed cock but she did not look just yet. She pulled his pants off and threw them away before she turned around to take the first look of his new cock.

She went cross-eyed as she looked at his manhood. He had turned around so his head was directly in front of her lips even as he stood away from her. She felt herself dampen again as she took in the 9 1/2 inch piece of man that stood out proudly towards her. She reached out hesitantly to wrap her hand around his red member. She could see the veins pulsing and saw it twitch slightly. She gasped as she finally grasped it and it felt like a miniature sun. He was always warm to her but this seemed intensely so.

She smirked slightly though since she was going to love this and started to stroke him lightly. "Does little Naruto want to plunder the depths he has only tasted in dreams?" she asked lightly as she blew on his head and saw him shiver. She was always the dominant one. "Do you want to take this demonic cock and fuck me until I can't remember my name Naru-kun?" she asked seductively.

Naruto's eyes suddenly snapped open and he said, "**On your knees.**"

Kyuubi's eyes widened as she stared into Naruto's demonic eyes. She had stopped stroking at his tone and said, "Wh-what?"

"**I said, get on your knees you little vixen!**" he repeated and removed her hand from him looking at her expectantly. His nose twitched and he smiled.

Kyuubi's pussy almost started to convulse at his tone. Very few men would be able to give her such a demanding tone while in the bedroom. It was not a well known fact but because she was always in a position of power, she had a slight fetish for being submissive within the bedroom. That Naruto would take control like that both surprised and extremely aroused her. She knew he smelt her increased arousal and almost cursed but her body betrayed her as it prepared itself for the obvious pleasure it was about to receive.

Naruto smirked. "So, my little vixen-chan likes that idea does she? She has a little submissive fetish eh? Well, I will be happy to oblige Vixen-chan! Now, **On Your Knees.**" Naruto said.

Kyuubi shuddered but got onto the bed and onto her hands and knees while presenting her pussy to his engorged head. She knew what he was going to do was going to rock her world. She could feel her pussy already leaking fluids as she prepared.

Naruto got behind her and lined himself up as he whispered into her ear, "This pussy is never going to want another cock ever!" with that he thrust himself in to her tight sheath and saw her scream in pain as he broke her hymen.

Both of them had forgotten about this being a new body and that this would be a virgin body. When Naruto broke her hymen he had almost stopped but knew that it would work better if he continued so once he buried himself in her he simply waited for her regeneration to help her sort the pain.

Kyuubi's eyes flew wide as she experienced her hymen being broken. She had forgotten about her proof of innocence in this newly made body. She sighed as she felt Naruto bottom out after having brushed her cervix with the tip of his cock and held himself there. She tensed slightly and slowly allowed herself to overcome the pain of his initial penetration. She was unprepared when Naruto pulled out and plunged back into her depths.

She had almost been ready but he was showing that he was in charge as he quickly set up a pace between the two which allowed her almost no time to adjust to him. Her pussy was slightly sore from the penetration but she was enjoying his new speed.

Naruto pulled out and thrust back in as he felt her pussy start to even out after he had broken her hymen. He smirked as he continued thrusting back into her not allowing her time to feel him. He was not going to allow her to be the dominant one any longer. His demonic instincts screaming at him to take charge of this demoness under him.

"You like that you little demon slut? You like me pounding in and out of your tight twat?" he asked huskily as he gave a few particularly hard thrusts.

Kyuubi's eyes started to flutter again as she responded mindlessly, "Yes Yes! Oh Please keep going!"

Naruto smirked and leaned back. He pulled her hands up so that he was pulling her towards him as their hips pulled away from each other then smacked back together again. He used his control over shadows to start to caress her erect nipples as she bounced with each thrust her gave.

Kyuubi was drooling at the mouth as he held her up with her arms. She felt something lovingly caress her breasts and looked down only to notice darkness covering her nipples. She felt it tweak her erect nipple and moaned out as the increase in pleasure started to catch up with her.

Naruto was wondering what else he could do to prove to Kyuubi she was no longer going to be able to lead him when he realized he had one appendage that was not occupied. He brought his spade like tail around and whipped it across her bottom as he pulled out. He smirked as instead of a loud scream of pain, he got a whimper of pleasure.

"What's wrong Vixen-chan? Do you want something?" he asked as he slowed his thrusts.

"More..." she whispered. She didn't want to completely submit to him but her pleasure was first in her mind right now.

"More what Vixen-chan?" he asked as he used slow long thrusts into her to keep her at a constant state of arousal.

"Thrust more! Put your cock further in my pussy. I want it in my womb!" she screamed out at him.

"You asked for it." He said as he increased his pace again feeling his own climax coming on.

"Spank this slut's ass more!" she begged. Naruto smirked as his tail came around and started to spank her again. He knew he had her now.

Kyuubi could feel as all of the pleasure was accumulating and her pussy started to convulse around his member. She threw her head back and howled as she went threw one of the biggest orgasms of her life.

Naruto leaned back as he felt Kyuubi start to convulse and commanded, "I am going to show you who owns you Vixen-chan! Take my load Vixen. Take it all deep in your pussy!"

Naruto thrust himself back in to the hilt and let go of the massive amount of cum that his balls could now hold into his lover. He loved the feeling of her velvety walls fluttering around his member as he let himself go.

Kyuubi's pussy started to convulse even harder as Naruto buried himself balls deep into her pussy and let his load shoot. She felt him pierce her cervix through the haze of pleasure and start to paint her walls white. She could feel as he spurted rope after rope of hot thick cum directly into her womb. Her pussy mapped the contour of his cock as it twitched and swelled while depositing an obscene amount of cum directly into her womb.

She came down from her orgasm but noticed he was still buried inside her. She looked down and her eyes widened as she saw the mess they had made. She smiled as she had always loved it when a man could fill her completely.

Beneath Naruto and Kyuubi was a puddle of Kyuubi's juices and Naruto's semen as the two rolled away from the damp spot and cuddled on one side of the bed.

**Ok lemon over, the kids can watch again! Also all credit goes to Tsukune08 for this epically awesome lemon!**

As the two laid on the bed recovering from their escapade. Naruto couldn't help but chuckle, a small gleam in his eye as he turned his head to look at an exhausted Kyuubi. Curious she just cocked an eyebrow at the demon's look until she noticed the gleam in them. Her own eyes widened a bit before she smiled and engaged the hanyou in another passionate kiss. Naruto hummed "I've got a feeling" as his Vixen-chan kneeled in front of him.

**Several days later, in the arena**

Naruto smirked as he walked onto the balconies lining the arena he had seen his familiars practicing in, only now, they were filled to the brim with all the passing genin and their senseis, along with none other than the hokage himself next to some sickly looking jounin. Although, with Naruto's new demonic senses he could tell there were a lot more people than what could be initially seen, In a small blacked out room above the statue was Ibiki from the first exam, Anko and the clan heads.

The boy received some stares as he entered the room, but instead of ones of terror he was met with ones of curiosity and confusion. Naruto had entered the arena with his most prominent demonic features being repressed, meaning his horns, red skin, tail and claws were gone, leaving behind only his new hair and eyes, which he displayed proudly. He was wearing his normal black cloth head band on his forehead except he was also wearing a red vest with black trim and a picture of a laughing skull smoking a cigar and wearing a party hat on the back of it. Under the vest was no shirt and on his legs was a pair of black jeans with a studded leather belt with silver satanic cross belt buckle. On his feet were his normal combat boots, but on the bottom of the shoes were the kanji for pathetic written in yellow on them. Finishing the look was a brown glove on his right hand, vials of an eerily glowing liquid in a ring around his wrist, all connecting to the knuckles of the gloves.

Naruto went to stand next to his team, receiving some wary glances from Sakura, a glare from Sasuke and a curious look from Kakashi. Though when the hokage started to speak, Naruto just tuned out his speech, only catching the part about the exams being a replacement for war. When the old monkey finished speaking the sickly looking jounin stepped forward, hacking like there was no tomorrow.

"Since too many of you made it through the second exam, we're having elimination rounds to narrow it down," said the man between fits of coughing, "My name is Hayate and I'll be the proctor for this exam," he coughed.

Naruto just cocked an eyebrow at the man. Why would they let a ninja in his state of health proctor anything, much less be an active shinobi? Now that the grey headed boy thought about it, if you ever wanted to find undercover Konoha shinobi, it wouldn't be that hard. Just look for red-eyed ice queens, one eyed perverts, green spandex wearing fitness nuts, and demonic genin. The demon boy chuckled slightly at that thought, only now noticing that the kid Kabuto had dropped out and everyone was looking at some giant electronic screen that had names flashing across it.

The first two names to pop on it were none other than Sasuke Uchiha and some genin from Konoha that Naruto had never seen before, then again, the face mask and sunglasses made it hard for him to actually see his face. Since there was nothing better to do, the shirtless boy decided to watch the show.

The two Konoha genin glared at each other, sizing the other up and waiting for the call to fight. Hayate glanced at each of them, a slight smirk tugging at his lips before he stated, "Fight," and jumped out of the way.

Immediately Sasuke began doing handseals for a fireball jutsu, a smirk tugging at his lips, but then a searing pain came from his shoulder, causing the Uchiha to gasp out in pain and clutch at his neck instinctively, completely abandoning his jutsu. The other genin hesitated for a second, confused, but then decided to take the advantage.

Charging towards the Uchiha, the other genin made for a grab at the boy. Seeing the oncoming enemy, Sasuke tried to get around him but the sunglasses wearing ninja grabbed Sasuke's arm and pivoted so he was behind Sasuke, one hand holding the raven haired youth's arm behind his back whole the other latched onto his head.

Sasuke struggled but found that he was starting to weaken. Surprised, the boy concentrated and was surprised to find that his chakra was being drained! Hearing a chuckle Sasuke figured it out, this freak was eating his chakra! Immediately Sasuke desperately tried to break free with renewed fervor, but the other genin had positioned himself so that his own legs had locked Sasuke's legs and he was leaned far enough back that Sasuke's free hand couldn't reach him.

"Give up rookie," chuckled the boy, "Unless you want to become a crumpled husk, give up now," Sasuke just ignored him and continued to try and break free. The masked ninja just shrugged, "More food for me then," he chuckled.

Sasuke couldn't believe this! He was going to be killed not in some blaze of glory after destroying his brother and restoring his clan but by having his chakra sucked out by some faceless loser whose name the author didn't even bother to write! This wasn't how it was supposed to end! He still hadn't killed his brother! As he continued struggling, the no name genin was surprised when he felt a sudden surge in chakra, then, he recoiled ith a cry of pain as flame like marks started to spread from Sasuke's curse mark.

Naruto blinked as he registered what just happened. _'Did that hickey just expel youki into the teme and leech?'_ Naruto thought with surprise. Frowning the demon wondered just what the mark did and how it worked, because whatever it wasn't, it sure as hell wasn't human. And if Sasuke's current grimaces of pain were anything to go by, then it was quite obvious that this "gift" was anything but, at least, at the moment.

Sasuke gritted his teeth in both in exhilaration of power and against the pain in his body. It felt like his blood was boiling but at the same time like he couldn't be defeated! Though why was it hurting now and it hadn't hurt initially? Well technically, the process of getting it on there was excruciatingly painful so that was probably the trade off. Either way, Sasuke had a surge of inspiration to defeat his opponent.

Dashing forward with newfound speed, Sasuke launched his opponent into the air with a kick to the chin, followed with several more kicks up and several punches so his opponent was now parallel with the ground. "From here its all original!" proclaimed the Uchiha with a straight punch to the genin's abdomen, causing him to slam into the ground. Groaning, the leech thought it was over, that was until Sasuke came down with an axe kick to his stomach and a cry of "Lion's barrage!"

The defeated genin just grunted before blacking out. The curse mark receded and Sasuke was declared the winner and not even two seconds later Kakashi grabbed Sasuke and vanished while Kyuubi appeared along with the familiars next to Naruto. This of course drew the attention of Sakura who yelled, "WHO THE HECK ARE YOU GUYS!" which drew everyone's attention and made the familiars, Naruto and Kyuubi wince in annoyance.

"Damnit woman! Where the hell is your fucking mute button?" roared an enraged Senso, "We're five freakin feet away there is no need to yell like a howler monkey that has been anally raped by a fucking icicle!" he shouted earning some snorts of amusement from some people and looks of complete shock at this kid's mouth. Sakura however was surprised; she'd only known one person to ever talk to her like that before, but that was Naruto's clone!

"Before you all start asking who we are, allow me to explain," stated Chie in a clipped tone, "We are the familiars of Naruto Uzumaki, meaning we are his personal summons, while the woman is an invited guest of the hokage," everyone turned to the hokage for confirmation and saw the old man just give a nod. With that, mostly everyone let it be and started the next match that was Shino versus the sound genin Zaku, who had an arm in a sling. Sakura however, had questions.

"How the hell are you familiars? Last I checked you were clones," Sakura demanded. Senso just snorted and turned away from the girl, completely disinterested in the girl. Kuro had fallen asleep standing up while Naruto and Kyuubi were busy flirting with each other while Chie gave a perverted cackle and wrote down the banter of the two demons. Ko, however, decided to answer here.

"Well to be honest we're not exactly sure but somewhere along the line we ceased being simple shadow clones due to the fact that Naruto continually summons us specifically," answered the blonde happily.

Sakura blinked at that. "Ok but how come he continually summons you four? I mean, aren't the chances of him summoning you four every time like a hundred to one?" she asked. Sakura figured that even if it was possible to summon specific clones, they all looked the same with only a difference in dominant personality, therefore impossible to single out one out of hundreds due to the fact that they were perfect replicas of the original.

Ko laughed a bit at that, not a mocking one but a simply amused one, "Chie and Kuro actually studied up on that and made the theory that so long as the emotion your feeling is dominant in you, that specific clone will appear," he replied.

Sakura nodded at that before frowning again. "But how can Naruto feel anger, laziness, seriousness and happiness at the same time?" asked the girl in a confused manner.

Ko laughed again, "It's because he's insane of course! Also you're not fully accurate with the emotions that we represent," Ko stated with a small smile, "Senso is Naruto's rage and desire to kill, Chie is Naruto's calm and logic while Kuro is Naruto's apathy," Ko explained. "If you have ever met another insane person, and I mean legitimately insane person, you'd know for a fact that they can swing from emotion to emotion in the blink of an eye,"

Sakura frowned at that, in a way, it did make sense but there was still one more thing she wanted to know, "So what emotion do you represent then?" she questioned.

Before Ko answered there was a loud scream of pain from the stadium causing everyone to stare at the chakra burn covered arms of Zaku. Shino had apparently plugged up both of the sound ninja's holes that allowed him to use his wind attack with bugs.

When Zaku tried to use his attack, all the built up and blocked chakra exploded quite violently out of his tenketsu points. As Zaku fell to the ground unconscious, Naruto burst into laughter at the Oto nin's pain, closely followed by Senso. Kyuubi, and Ko.

Naruto's and Kyuubi's laugh was mocking and filled with amusement. Senso's was a dark chuckle, clearly enjoying Zaku's pain while Ko's… Ko's laughter unnerved Sakura the most because it sounded like the innocent laughter of children at play, one filled with happiness. Once done laughing Ko turned to Sakura and just smiled. "I represent Naruto's curiosity and childishness of course!" he said happily, causing Sakura to take on a pale look. "By the way, is your hair naturally pink or is it dyed? Cause in all honesty if its dyed, why?"

Sakura blinked before growing angry, however before she could retaliate, the proctor spoke up.

"Will Sakura Haruno and Ino Yamanaka please come to the arena?" asked the man with a particularly violent cough. The two girls entered the arena and glared at each other. Hayate glanced at both of them before asking, "Are both contestants ready?" Sakura nodded, while Ino just gave a small hmph of affirmation. "Fight," declared the proctor before leaping out of the way.

Immediately, the two leapt into action and faced off in taijutsu that in all honesty, was a complete embarrassment to ninja everywhere. Granted, it was definitely better than academy level but that didn't change the fact that those two would already have been killed if they had engaged anyone who already had combat training. Senso's eyebrow twitched as he watched the fight, "If they don't stop soon, I'm going to murder them," he said in an annoyed voice. After he finished he sighed in relief when the two broke apart from each other. "Good, now the name of hand to hand combat won't be shamed any more," stated the war like man in a happy voice, only to once again start twitching as the girls charged at each other once more, both fists cocked back in preparation for a strike.

"Hmm, looks like they're going for taijutsu again," commented Chie, fan in front of his face while the other rested on the head of a cane. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen worse hand to hand combat, I swear, several grand masters must be turning in their graves right now," said the familiar. That was when Senso snapped.

"GOD DAMN IT!" he roared, flooding the area with killing intent and an overwhelming surge of primal rage. Distracted by the sudden outburst, Sakura and Ino turned to look at the warrior. At the same time, both girls launched their attacks at each other and simultaneously smashed their fists into each other's face. Needless to say, both of the pathetic kunochi were knocked out cold. Everybody just stared at the scene, not fully comprehending what just happened until four voices burst into laughter. Surprised, everyone turned to see Kyuubi, Naruto and, surprisingly, Anko, all laughing hysterically at the sight while off to the side, Senso was frothing at the mouth at such a pathetic battle.

"O h dear Kami that was too funny!" Anko gasped out, leaning heavily against Naruto's left while Kyuubi could only nod in agreement, laughing too hard to say anything as she leaned against Naruto's right. The boy himself had just settled into slight chuckles as he watched the medics take the two fan girls away. Once again, the board flashed through names before it landed on a VERY interesting pair.

"Will both Hinata and Neji Hyuuga please enter the arena," asked the proctor. Without missing a beat. Both Hyuugas appeared, one with a glare and his arms at his sides while the other had her hands in her jacket pockets and a look of annoyance and air of superiority on her. "Begin," stated the jounin, already able to see that the two were ready to fight.

"Hinata-sama give up now, you are good but you have no chance of defeating me," Neji stated in a cold tone.

"And why is that?" Hinata asked coolly, a slight smirk tugging at her lips.

Neji just smirked, "Because you can't change fate. You were born weak while I was born a prodigy. No matter what you do, I'll always be better than you," he announced confidently. However his look of confidence turned to one of anger when he saw his cousin start to laugh quietly at him. "What do you find so funny?" he demanded.

Hinata just gave a malicious smirk as she held her hands in horrifyingly familiar hand sign to every branch member. Slowly, Hinata started to pour chakra into the seal and Neji began screaming in pain, his hands clutching at his forehead as he continued to howl in agony. "I find it funny that you as a branch member believe you can beat me when you have that seal on your head," she said as she stopped using her chakra. The pain subsided, leaving Neji on his hands and knees gasping for breath, "Now you can either give up or I can kill you, completely up to you," Hinata said nonchalantly. Neji just glared at her, defiance ad hatred burning in his eyes. Hinata just shrugged and made the handseal again, sending Neji into another agonized fit of screams. "Give up or die, either way I win," Hinata stated in a superior voice over the loud screams of her cousin.

Up in the walkway, Naruto's group was frowning at the fight, if it could even be called that and none were more so pissed at the fight then Kyuubi and Anko, both who had been subjugated to seals very similar to the branch family's mark.

"I'm going to kill that little bitch," Anko growled. Kyuubi nodded in agreement, "I say we put the seal on her and see how she takes it," Kyuubi stated coldly.

"Fucking coward," muttered Senso angrily as he gripped the iron railings, which in turn started to crush them from the war like man's grip which somewhat surprised Chie.

"Why are you mad Senso? I realize that it is a rather despicable way to win but it's an advantage for the right person to exploit, which could mean life or death in combat," he inquired. Senso rounded on him and gave his logical brother a very frigid glare.

"That seal wasn't placed on him during combat or out of punishment for some past sin, nor is it a training seal used for pain endurance. That seal," he spat the word, "is nothing more than a device used so those god damned Hyuuga assholes in the main branch can have their very own slaves, nothing more than drones who will do whatever they're masters ask so they don't have to feel the agony that mark will undoubtedly give them," Senso explained.

Chie blinked at that. "True, but that doesn't explain why you're so angry Senso," he said.

Senso snorted and turned back to the arena before responding, "Nobody deserves a mark that damns their lives, not when they have no choice in the matter," he whispered angrily. That was when it clicked in Chie's mind. Glancing between Naruto and Senso, the logical and perverted clone realized that both of them hated that mark because it reminded them of that seal that was placed on the original.

After the second time Hinata had activated the mark, Neji had quickly submitted making Hinata the winner. The next match was between a Suna ninja named Kankuro who wore some kind of cat jump suit and had a bandage wrapped thing on his back that had some brown hair sticking out of the top that actually turned out to be a puppet. His opponent had been some masked Konoha ninja similar to the one Sasuke had fought but this one had round simple glasses and super stretchy rubbery arms. The match had ended with Kankuro using his puppet to capture his opponent. Needless to say, it was a pretty straightforward fight. The same could be said for when Shikamaru versus that sound girl, Kin, where the lazy genius won by having the girl smash her head into the wall. Then Dosu vs. Chouji, where Dosu won by knocking out the Akamichi with that weird arm of his. However this next match was of particular interest to Naruto's group.

"Will Tamari no Sabaku and Tenten please enter the arena?" asked the proctor in a bored manner, coughing slightly. Both kunochi entered the arena with determined looks on their faces.

"Good luck Tenten-nee!" Ko cheered excitedly while the rest of the group gave encouraging smiles or cheers of confidence. Tenten inwardly smiled at that, it was nice to be cheered on, especially from people she considered family and vice versa.

"Are both teams ready?" asked Hayate. Both girls nodded and the proctor began the match before leaping away to safety. Immediately, Tenten leaped back and launched a barrage of twenty kunai at her opponent. As soon as the weapons left her hands, the bun haired girl flashed through handsigns at blinding speeds before shouting "Kage Kunai no Jutsu!" The twenty kunai then tripled in number, creating a veritable wall of kunai. It was fairly obvious that the Konoha genin was going straight for the kill. However, a sudden burst of wind sent the weapons flying off course, revealing Temari with her fan at her side and a single blue moon showing on it.

"When you see all three moons, this match will be over," she declared in an arrogant voice. Tenten just narrowed her eyes and made a familiar hand sign, one that had Naruto grinning in pride. "Kage Bunshin no jutsu!" declared the genin. Immediately, two other Tentens appeared next to the original and dashed off, one to the right and the other to the left. Soon, the three bun haired ninja had surrounded Temari and quickly let loose a barrage of shuriken and kunai, confident that they could either force their opponent into the air or easily take her out. Imagine their surprise when Temari did a complete three sixty spin, once again knocking the weapons off course and revealing another blue circle on her fan, only this time there was more force behind the attack causing the clones to dispel and the original to get a few cuts on her from the sharp wind chakra being expelled.

Up in the walkways, Anko was looking at the fight with pity. _'She's done, it was just bad luck that she got paired up with a wind user'_ thought the snake mistress. _'Still, it was a good idea to try and surround her but this Suna chick is WAAAY more experienced'_

"You really shouldn't sell Tenten-neechan short Anko-chan," Kyuubi said to the snake mistress. Anko was surprised and turned to the demon, her eyes easily betraying her confusion.

"How so Vixen-chan?" asked the purple haired woman. In the short time that they had known each other, both women had become friends very easily and quickly. "Don't get me wrong, the girl is good but the Blondie does have a couple years over her," Anko replied.

Kyuubi just chuckled in amusement. "She trained with Naruto," was the demon's only response. Anko blinked once, then a grin came to her face as she turned back to the fight. "That changes things," she said with a happy chirp.

Tenten narrowed her eyes as she avoided a blast from Temari's fan. The bun haired girl had given up on trying to nail the wind user with thrown weapons and was instead trying to close in on her. However, the Suna girl would just flick her wrist and send burst after burst of wind at her to keep her away. It was painfully obvious that Temari was playing with Tenten.

'_Come on Tenten think! There has to be something you can do!'_ she berated herself mentally. Growling, the kunochi dodged another attack. _'Think! Using the Twin rising dragon won't work cause she'll just blow the weapons away with that damn fan of hers!_ Suddenly the girl's eyes widened in realization before a very Naruto like idea entered her mind. _'Hope your watching nii-san'_ thought Tenten with a smirk. Quickly Tenten threw another barrage of weapons at Temari and as soon as they left her hands Tenten did some hand seals, once again multiplying the number of projectiles by three, making it impossible for the Suna kunochi to see her.

"This again? I think it's time I just ended this!" announced Temari. With that, the blonde girl swung her fan again, this time opening it fully. To her surprise though, when the wall of death cleared she couldn't see Tenten anywhere. "Where the hell did she go?" asked the girl in angry confusion.

"Over here desert bitch!" shouted a voice. Temari whirled around, an evil glint in her eye as she faced Tenten, but that anger was soon mixed with surprise and confusion when she saw what Tenten had in her possession.

Strapped to her back were two steel tanks that had small tubes wrapped in metal emerging from the bottom until they connected with two gun shaped objects that Tenten held in her hands. Instead of a trigger was a lever jus in front of the handle while at the tip was a narrowed muzzle with a small flame burning right in front of it. Around the Leaf genin's eyes was a pair of wrap around ruby tinted sunglasses, and Temari was unnerved by the malicious glint she could see in Tenten's eyes.

"Well she's screwed," Naruto stated with a happy smile. The familiars and Kyuubi nodded in agreement. Anko was about to ask when Naruto just held up a hand before pointing towards the arena clearly saying 'You'll see what I mean if you watch what happens' so with a curious look, Anko watched to see what Tenten would do with that new device.

"What the hell is that?" Temari demanded. Tenten just smirked at the girl before standing ramrod straight and her right hand, still clutching the nozzle, on her forehead in a salute position.

"To the bitch who is about to get her sandy pussy handed to her, I give you my special salute!" Tenten proclaimed and she soon followed the declaration by flipping the Suna ninja off with both hands and sticking her tongue out at her. There was silence before Naruto's group erupted into howls of laughter while Temari turned red with rage.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" she roared, and with that, Temari surrounded herself in a whirlwind with her fan, positive that Tenten would be caught within it. However, she really didn't account that Tenten was a good ten feet away from the attack, then again, arrogance makes people blind, and even more blind when combined with fury. Which is exactly what Tenten wanted.

"Time to fry!" shouted the bun haired girl, and with that, Tenten pointed the objects in her hands at the tornado and squeezed the levers, which in turn revealed exactly what the strange weapon was that the girl had. Tenten was wielding a flamethrower.

Fire spewed from the gun like nozzles and screamed towards the wall of wind like bats straight out of hell. As soon as the fire made contact, the swirling wall of wind ignited and Temari screamed in pain as the heat seared at her skin, burning it raw and red. For five seconds there was nothing but a fiery whirlwind, for five seconds Temari endured the temperature of hell and for five seconds… A group of people watched it all with sadistic glee.

When the fire finally vanished, it revealed an unconscious and extremely burnt Temari, most of her clothing gone due to the fire while her skin was an angry red. It was obvious that Tenten had won and the medics quickly removed the burn victim from the area. It would take at least a couple weeks before Temari could move again.

"Now that's a fight!" roared Senso in approval while Ko, who was sitting on Senso's shoulder, clapped his hands in joy. Chie was applauding lightly while Kuro had a smirk on his face. Naruto, Anko and Kyuubi were all applauding while shouting for an encore. Tenten just grinned at them and gave a bow before going up to join them. Everyone else however, moved a little farther away from them, even the red head from Suna was a little nervous at what he had just seen.

Hayate sighed as he watched the names flash across the board. _'For the love of Kami can this just be over already?'_ he grumbled mentally. Finally the board stopped flashing through names and Hayate called out the next two fighters. "Will Naruto Uzumaki and Kiba Inuzuka please come to the arena," ordered the jounin with a ragged cough. Kiba gave a whoop of joy and leaped into the arena, his dog right behind him. Naruto gave a sadistic grin and leapt into the arena as well, landing with a small thud in front of his doglike opponent. The two eyed each other, one with a feral smirk and the other with a sadistic grin. Hayate sighed before saying begin, then leapt out of the way with a cough.

Immediately Kiba busted out his family jutsus. "All fours jutsu!" he announced before crouching on the floor like some animal, his hands turned into claws while his teeth had elongated. The he made a hand sign and said, "Man beast clone!" which turned Akamaru from a cute little puppy into an exact duplicate of Kiba. "Get ready for pain!" Kiba announced arrogantly, "Lets go Akamaru, GATSUUGA!" and with that, both Kibas began to spin at high speeds, till they became twin drills that launched themselves at the demon boy.

Naruto just laughed as he jumped over the incoming attack before landing with a red cape over one arm and himself in a very absurd costume. "Ole!" cried the genin, confusing the hell out of almost everyone. Kiba turned and stared at him in confusion as the grey-headed boy held the cape to his side and started to say "Toro! Toro!" Kiba frowned as he had the distinct felling he was being insulted. Growling, the dog boy used his attack once more, only to be met with the same results. With a flourish of the cape, Naruto dodged the drill and yelled "Ole!" once more, his matador costume somehow glinting in the sun.

"Bravo senior Uzumaki!" proclaimed Anko and Kyuubi, now dressed in Italian red dresses and wearing ruby red lipstick. They tossed some roses towards the boy and he caught one in his teeth, a goofy smile on his face and his eyebrows in a very suave position. This pissed Kiba off to no end and with a roar he didhis attack again, only this time he had Akamaru come from one direction and he from the other.

As the two came screaming towards him, Naruto remained oblivious and when he finally acknowledged the drills, it was too late. The attacks connected with their target and Naruto was ripped to shreds! Blood, body parts and organs went flying everywhere and Kiba and Akamaru got drenched in the red liquid of their opponent. Some people gasped in horror while the familiars, Tenten, Anko and Kyuubi all gave a cry of grief and shock. With a small thud Naruto's head landed in front of a very shocked Kiba.

"I… killed… him," Kiba whispered disbelievingly. He knew that as a ninja he was supposed to kill but this… this wasn't what he had expected! He had expected his first kill to be against some powerful enemy or when he was defending something precious to him like his family or home, not a fellow Konoha shinobi in some sick exam! He felt sick, he felt like his entire world was spinning out of control and-

"Awww! Why did you have to go and kill me?" whined a familiar voice. Shocked, everybody snapped their heads up to see Naruto standing on the ceiling, a pout on his face and his arms crossed. Naruto's group gave a happy whoop that he was alive and laughed at the faces everyone was wearing as they just gawked at the boy.

"B-but how are you-" stuttered Kiba only to be cut off as Naruto snorted and snapped his fingers. Immediately, the head on the ground that looked like Naruto poofed and when the smoke disappeared, revealed the head of one of the Ame ninja that Naruto had killed in the forest.

"Nothing like a quick substitution with a carcass to catch your enemies off guard!" laughed Naruto. "Which reminds me," Naruto then did a quick handsign and replaced himself with Kiba. Before Akamaru could react, Naruto had sent a vicious backhand to the transformed dog, causing the pup to revert back to his regular form while the demon did another hand sign. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" he declared, and then four clones appeared in the arena.

All four of them went after Akamaru, doing a henge as they went. One turned into a strange yellow metal structure that looked like a square Y while two more changed into blue and white uniforms with a ton of padding and giant helmets while the last one had a black and white striped shirt with a whistle, white pants and a black baseball hat.

One of the padded clones grabbed Akamaru and set him on the ground while the other came running and punt kicked the dog through the strange Y while the last blew his whistle, arms straight up in the air as he followed it with a loud "AND ITS GOOD!"

All of this happened before Kiba crashed back into the ground and before he could recover, a hysterically laughing Naruto kicked him over. The lat thin Kiba saw before unconsciousness, was yellow kanji for the word pathetic.

"And that's how we get down in a hick town!" declared the insane genin before he strutted back to the walkway to his laughing friends. Now everybody had moved to the other side of the arena and was giving that group very wary, and very terrified looks. Gaara included. Then the next match began. "Will Gaara no Sabaku and Rock Lee please come to the arena," said the coughing voice.

**A/N: Yeah I'm tired of writing fight scenes and this fight went exactly the same as it did in canon sooo… Long story short, Lee lost, arm and leg shattered. Gaara won, hoop dee fucking doo.**

"Will all the winning participants please come down and receive a number," Hayate ordered. The genin all approached him as the jounin handed out some pieces of paper. "Please say your number out loud one at a time," coughed the proctor.

"Two," Hinata stated haughtily.

"Four," Sasuke stated in a monotone.

"Three," Gaara rasped.

"Nine," Shikamaru drawled lazily.

"Five," Kankuro said.

"Eight' called out Tenten

"Six," Shino stated.

"Seven," Dosu replied.

"One," Naruto declared with a dark chuckle as he sent a glance towards Hinata.

Hayate nodded as he wrote something down and the board behind him changed. "Here is the first order of matches for the finals," stated the man as he pointed towards the electronic screen. On it appeared the fights as followed.

First round: Naruto Uzumaki vs. Hinata Hyuuga

Second round: Gaara no Sabaku vs. Sasuke Uchiha

Third round: Kankuro vs. Shino

Fourth round: Dosu vs. Tenten

Fifth round: Shikamaru Nara vs. winner of round four

Sarutobi Hiruzen then appeared before everyone and began to speak, "You all have one month to train before the finals, then you must be at the stadium at 11:30, no sooner, no later. Congratulations and good luck to all of you," as soon as he finished, the old Hokage vanished once more and the finalists all left to prepare for their up and coming battles.

As Naruto mounted the steps towards his group a wicked smile appeared on his face. _'And here we go'_ he thought slowly and with a mental cackle.

**A/N: YATTA! Done! Wow this is one of the longest chapters I've done yet! Sorry it took so long but, well, such is life! Anyway I want to thank the god that is Tsukune08 for the lemon he has written and I ask, no beg, NO, DEMAND! That you go check out some of his stories! It is the least we could do for him after giving us such a gift! Also, for those of you who haven't read it yet, go check out Why so Serious by Kyu15. It's kind of based off my story but you'll see some major differences as you go along. Besides, they say mimicry is the ultimate form of flattery and I like it. Anyway, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Cuanza, Happy Ramadan and Happy New Year to all! If I missed any then HAPPY FREAKING HOLIDAYS! WOOOOHOO!**


	10. Do you know your enemy?

**Laughter of the Broken**

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Demon/Summons speaking"**

'_**Demon/Summons thinking'**_

**A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in like… what? 3 months or so? Meh, whatever, been busy with school finals, social like, all that wonderful bullcrap we deal with in life. Hmm… Oh yeah! I want to thank everyone for the reviews and I especially want to thank To A certain KiTsUnE for the waffle they gave me! Mmmm… syyyruuup (drools over keyboard) Eh? OH! Right as for those who think Naruto knows about Danzo and Madara and his father let me clear some things. **

**Kyuubi knows only one person that can control her outside of a seal and that's Madara because of those god damned over powered eyes of his! Second, Naruto is smart and he can make the connection between himself and the Fourth, I mean they look almost exactly alike (before the transformation anyway) and the only other blondes in Konoha are the Yamanakas. Lastly, Naruto only knows about Danzo's ROOT and that he's doing some things Sarutobi doesn't approve or know about. Naruto knows Danzo is doing something, just not sure what exactly, plus he just doesn't really care about Danzo. While on this topic, if those are curious to how Naruto knows about the Uchiha coup, well…, its kind of easy to explore abandoned areas, especially if you have Naruto's shadow abilities.**

"So whatcha gonna do now aniki?" asked Ko from his position atop Senso's head. Currently Naruto and his familiars were walking through Konoha on their way towards the hospital. Naruto was leading, in his more human form. Though the demonic genin was more than tempted to just go full demon form and scare the living shit out of everyone. Following closely behind was Senso with Ko firmly seated on his head cross-legged with a piece of straw in his mouth. Surprisingly, the violent familiar showed no irritation in carrying the small child. If anything, the giant seemed fairly content to carry the small blonde.

Kuro and Chie were walking a bit behind the other two and both had apparently decided that the world didn't need to see their faces. While Chie just hid behind his fan and tilted his hat a little lower over his face, Kuro had the gas mask on his face and had decided to put on a high collared grey trench coat along with a black metal cap on his head, but what disturbed many people who saw him wasn't the intimidating clothing, but the pure black symbols drawn on the shoulders of the coat. Naruto had never seen them before but he immediately knew that the strange X, Senso had called it a swasti-something, was an inherently evil symbol meant to instill fear in anyone who saw them.

The boy chuckled to himself, _'And it seems to be working like a charm'_ thought Naruto as he saw the villagers give his group a wide birth and keep sending terrified glances to Kuro. Turning, the demon boy decided to answer Ko's question, "I'm going to train of course!" stated the blonde with a chuckle, "What else am I going to do with a month of no shinobi duties?" he asked.

"Slaughter the villagers?" suggested Senso, making several passersby give terrified squeaks before running off.

"A nice idea but no, I'm going to train for my upcoming fight," dismissed Naruto casually.

"Why?" asked the muffled voice of Kuro, his voice much deeper and gruffer due to the mask. "From what we know, you're already strong enough to beat her easy," he stated in a monotone.

"Really?" Naruto stopped and turned to face him. "Tell me then, how could I so easily beat Hinata Hyuuga?" he asked, an amused twinkle dancing in his eye.

"You have mastery over the shadows to the point where you can kill someone with their own, three Kage's worth of chakra, a healing factor that can repair most fatal attacks within seconds, unbelievable stamina combined with demonic strength, speed and reflexes combined with a genius some would marvel at combined with a ruthlessness to be feared," Kuro stated, "Lets not forget you also have a summoning contract with hyenas, fear toxin and you can go head to head with jounin level ninja," Kuro finished.

"You forgot to mention he's got a gun," Senso deadpanned. This brought chuckles from the rest except for Kuro.

"True, but what do we know about Hinata and her fighting style?" asked Naruto as he once again began moving through the streets.

"She's from the Hyuuga clan and is the heiress so she probably knows the more advanced forms of her clan's fighting style," Senso began.

"Juken right?" Ko piped up. Senso nodded at that. "That's the style that uses that creepy eye of theirs to attack chakra pathways and organs right?" asked the blonde as he spun the piece of straw between his fingers.

"It is Ko, it is said to be the ultimate taijutsu for the simple fact that it needs only one tap to be fatal. Someone who has enough knowledge of the human body could copy it but the chakra control required to utilize it correctly is tremendous," Senso explained.

"Why not just use long range attacks or use speed?" Ko inquired as he leapt off Senso's head and onto the ground. "Knowing Hyuuga, they probably only use their clan techniques meaning they would only have basic ninja skills and specialize in close range right?" he stated.

"Normally that would be true but Hinata is a different case Ko," Chie stated.

Naruto raised a brow at that. "And how would you figure that?" he asked. "She's cold, arrogant and has a look that could stop a stampede of elephants," Naruto pointed out.

"To some yes," Chie replied, "However, there is a difference between being cold and being filled with hate," he explained. This caused the rest of the group to give him a slightly confused look.

"What do you mean filled with hate?" Kuro asked slowly.

"It means exactly how it sounds," Chie stated evenly, "From what I know, Hinata is seen as a failure in her clan, or rather, she was. Apparently at some point, the girl became fed up with the treatment and devoted everything into becoming strong, to prove her entire clan wrong,"

There was silence for a moment as this information was digested. "So she became strong to prove her family wrong?" Naruto asked with a raised brow. The bucket hat wearing clone merely nodded. "I suppose she is now the undisputed clan heiress and everyone kisses the ground she walks on, thus giving her an ego comparable to the Uchiha?" he asked.

"You're half right sempai," Chie stated as he began walking ahead of the group again towards the hospital. Not even breaking stride he began to explain again, "Hinata is treated like a princess now, and she is the clan heir but the girl absolutely hates it," Chie paused for a moment so they could digest that, "For some reason, and I have several theories, Hinata either thinks you are completely useless and will treat you with as much contempt as possible or she'll think you have SOME use and will TOLERATE your existence," finished the clone with heavy emphasis on some and tolerate.

"So… how exactly does that help us?" asked Senso, a blank look on his face.

Naruto answered this time, "It means Hinata is a predominantly unknown enemy with some known factors and those known factors are… disconcerting to say the least," he finished. Then a wicked grin spread across his features as they had reached their destination, namely, the Konoha Hospital. "However, we're going to be finding out a lot more about Princess then she wants us to know," chuckled the demon-boy.

"How does the hospital help us find out about Hinata aniki?" Ko questioned, his confusion mirrored in the faces of Senso and, though unseen, Kuro.

Naruto chuckled at the question as he strolled towards the building, "If you ever want information on your enemy, the first place to look is the hospital, especially if your enemy is a bloodline wielding ninja," he explained with a grin as the doors opened in front of him revealing a rather empty lobby slash waiting room. The secretary, a woman of average beauty, barely acknowledged the door opening and just went back to reading her magazine.

"What makes you think we'll find any information on Hinata by looking through a hospital?" questioned Kuro.

Naruto merely shook his head before turning to glare at the familiar. "The hospital will have records on Hinata's past injuries, genetic make up physical build and even a mental evaluation be cause every ninja is required to go through a mental evaluation every couple of years so they don't end up having a mental breakdown in the middle of a mission," he snapped. "Plus both her teammate and cousin are here, use your brain and figure out why we're here,"

Kuro stepped back slightly as Naruto's piercing yellow eyes glared at him. "I apologize Naruto-sempai, please, explain what we are doing here," apologized the clone. He may be an uncaring ass at times, but Kuro liked being alive.

Naruto merely snorted at him before explaining, "It's simple, I want information on Hinata and we have four sources at the least to pump for info so" here he pointed a finger at Chie, "Chie I want you and Kuro to find any records on Hinata Hyuuga, that includes everything from blood type to phobias, understand?" both males nodded before vanishing into the shadows. "Senso, go talk to that Neji kid and Ko, go talk to Kiba," the two aforementioned blinked at this.

"Uh, what makes you think they'll tell us anything about Hinata?" Senso asked.

Naruto simply smirked, "Because Neji hates Hinata and he'll gladly give up any of her secrets to get back at the main house," Senso nodded at that. "As for Kiba, the mutt doesn't use his brain too much and so long as it doesn't look like Ko is fishing, he'll let one or two things slip up, all you have to do," here Naruto placed a hand on Ko's head, "is get him to start talking, understand?"

Ko grinned before vanishing via shadow travel like his brothers but Senso had yet to leave. "What are you gonna do then boss?" asked the burly man to Naruto's retreating form, the clone was not exactly keen on the idea that he has to work while Naruto goes and fools around.

The gray haired genin laughed a bit before turning to face his familiar. "I'm going to find Kakashi then see if those sound genin are here and see if they feel well enough for a small," here he gave a chuckle "chat," with that the Uzumaki left, laughing darkly as the shadows consumed him.

Senso soon followed the other's examples and vanished into his shadow.

**Hospital, Neji's Room**

He couldn't believe it. Wait, yes, yes, he could believe it he just didn't think she would do it! He thought she would just be too arrogant, have some kind of honor or some modicum of pity!

But no, she had bested him, utterly humiliated him in front of everyone! Had taken his curse, and brought his weakness and most hated shame to light.

The boy clenched his fists in anger as he thought over his fight with one Hinata Hyuuga. _'I shouldn't be surprised,'_ Neji thought bitterly. _'They're nothing but honorless cowards and arrogant slavers!'_

"Sitting here in anger isn't going to help you get revenge on her," said a rough voice, causing Neji to look up in surprise and alarm. The boy hadn't felt or seen anyone come in and he was sure the door had been locked as was his request, but none the less, someone had entered his room.

Turning his head the Hyuuga beheld a giant of a man, casually leaning his heavily muscled form on the wall next to the door. That was all Neji could see however because his visitor was cloaked in shadow.

"Who are you? What do you want?" demanded the cold boy. He may be bed ridden but the Hyuuga refused to be intimidated by this simple brute. A quick swishing noise followed by rattling chain was barely enough warning for Neji to jerk his head to the side and avoid a dao sword that imbedded itself into the wall behind him. After getting over his shock, the boy noticed the length of chain that was connected to the sword's handle ring that was also connected n the other end to the wrist of an outstretched hand that belonged to none other then his mysterious and obviously violent visitor.

"You are in no position to command me boy, you are lucky I am not allowed to kill you," growled out the stranger. With that the stranger finally came out of the dark and Neji could see just who had decided to visit him, and if he were honest with himself, he was scared shitless.

The man in front of him was huge, and armed to the teeth! On his back was another Dao sword along with a naginata that stood straight against his back, perfectly aligned with his spine. There was a cloth attached to the banner and Neji could see there was something painted on it, but he couldn't see what. Along with the swords and spear like weapon there was a red kunai holster on his right thigh with a matching shuriken pouch on his left thigh and below that was a combat knife strapped to his right shin. Neji was positive he had more weapons on him and he had a sneaking suspicion they could be summoned via the red tribal tattoo that took up the most of his right side. However, the hulking physique nor the weapons is what scared Neji the most. No, wha scared him the most was the red eyes that stared at him.

His murky red eyes were burning with fury and in them you could see he was planning on what would be the best way to kill you. They seemed to ask if Neji would prefer having his limbs ripped off or his guts splattered all over the wall.

"W-Who are you?" Neji asked once more, this time his voice very cautious and scared, but pathetically hidden behind a mask of cold calculation.

Senso snorted and yanked on the extended chain, yanking his sword free and catching it with practiced ease. "It is polite to give your own name before asking someone else's whelp, but my name is Senso," he stated before approaching the bedridden boy. "You know my name now tell me yours," the clone finished as he seated himself on a stool next to Neji's bed, effectively putting the Hyuuga child on edge.

"It's Neji, Hyuuga Neji," the pale eyed boy replied after reigning in his emotions, most of them anyway, he was still unnerved by the warrior next to him. "What exactly do you want Senso-san," Neji asked.

Senso raised an eyebrow before smirking slightly. "I'm here for information on one Hinata Hyuuga, her fighting style, jutsu, quirks anything that will help my boss take her down in the finals," he stated bluntly.

Neji was surprised at such a straightforward answer before he quickly scowled as he realized just whom the hulking man was working for. "And what makes you think Uzumaki will succeed where I have failed?" he snapped, all fear replaced with fury and annoyance. "I will admit the boy has skill but he cannot beat someone like Hinata,"

"And why would Naruto lose?" asked Senso.

"Because it is Hinata's fate to win, to be on top while it is my fate to be her servant and protector. It was fated that she would win, and I defied fate when I believed I could beat her," Neji said, gripping his sheets angrily. "I was fated to lose to her, all because of this damned seal!" Neji all but shouted in fury. It wasn't fair! The only reason she won was because of the damn Caged Bird Seal on his head! He never wanted it and she would be the one with it if his father hadn't been born seconds after Hinata's. A mere two fucking seconds had damned him! If that hadn't been enough then-

Neji was stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Surprised Neji looked to see Senso with a hand on the young man's shoulder. "You have a lot of anger in your heart boy, but no outlet, no true one anyway, am I correct?" Senso inquired.

Surprised Neji stared at the man before slowly nodding an affirmitive. "Tell me, do you truly believe in fate? Truly believe that there is a reason behind everything and that whatever happens was meant to happen?" Senso asked.

Neji gave the answer that had been pounded into his skull ever since he could walk. "Fate controls everything, how we act, speak, look and especially our positions in life. None can go against fate and those who try, die. The Hyuuga have been taught this since birth,"

Senso growled and smacked Neji upside the head. "I asked if YOU believed in fate, whelp! I didn't ask what you were taught to believe!" he growled.

Neji apologized quickly before he went silent and started to contemplate on what he thought of fate. Senso watched as Neji's body started to tense up more and more, signifying that the boy was getting angrier and angrier, something that made Senso smirk in satisfaction.

"Well what do you think of fate? And please give me your honest opinion about the thing that has fucked you over since birth," Senso said in amusement. That last comment was what sent Neji's anger over the edge.

"Fate is a bitch! I'd like to take her and make her my bitch so I can fuck it whenever I want!" roared Neji Hyuuga. "But I can't, not so long as I have this damn seal on me!" Neji finished, a hand coming up to clutch at his forehead.

Senso smiled a bit as he rested a hand on Neji's shoulder. "Boy, what if I told you I might know of a way to get rid of that seal and a way for you to make fate your bitch?" Senso asked.

Immediately Naji's head shot up and he gave the hulking man a burning stare. "How? And if you are lying to use me I will kill you," he threatened, leaking killing intent as he did.

The warrior laughed at him, "Trust me kid, I'm violent, not deceptive. Now, in order to make fate your bitch all you have to do is tell me everything you know about the Hyuuga clan fighting style along with any techniques Hinata might know," seeing him hesitate, Senso gave one final push, "Think of it, the heiress to the main branch completely and utterly defeated by the village's most despised ninja. Naruto wins, the Hyuuga main branch gets humiliated, you get your revenge and possibly your seal removed and to top it all off, the main branch will never know that one of their servants went against fate and fucked them over," Senso said in a tempting voice.

That was all the initiative he needed. "What exactly do you wish to know?" Neji asked, a malevolent smirk on his face, one that Senso mirrored.

**Kiba's room**

He sighed for what must have been the twentieth time that day. In the end, he should have known he had no chance. At least, not against someone like Naruto Uzumaki. He chuckled bitterly to himself, in all honesty, did ANYONE in their age group have a chance against him?

"Well, Hinata-chan might, what do you think Akamaru?" Kiba asked his canine companion. The dog merely gave a half hearted bark in response. Kiba just gave another sigh. _'Might as well just sleep then wait for more of that nasty food to be delivered'_ thought the Inuzuka as he slowly shut his eyes, however they flew back open when he heard someone knocking on his door. _'who the heck could that be?'_ thought the dog boy. "Come on int," he called, curiosity pushing him to find out who it was. Needless to say he was surprised by who he saw walk in.

"Hey Kiba-san!" Ko greeted loudly, "Sorry aniki beat you up so bad but I brought some ramen to help you heal!" he stated with a chuckle as he held up a bowl of ramen. Kiba just blinked as the blonde haired child handed the bowl to him and pulled up a chair, his legs swinging in the air, as they were too short to reach the ground.

Seeing as Kiba had yet to even look at the bowl Ko stated, "If you don't eat that ramen then I will,"

Kiba blinked in surprise before a sheepish smiled graced his features. Chuckling, the dog boy broke apart his chopsticks and took a bite of the noodles. Immediately his eyes widened and he snapped his head to look at Ko, catching the familiar by surprise.

"This is freakin delicious!" Kiba exclaimed. "Where in the hell did you get this?" he asked before digging in.

Ko just laughed. "I got it from a ramen stand called Ichiraku's, the only people working there are an old man and his daughter, but their ramen is awesome!" he declared.

Kiba could only nod in agreement as he ate his first real meal since he was admitted to the place. "I'll say! This stuff is great!"

Smiling, Ko decided to begin his mission. "You know your team is pretty tough, you included," Ko commented.

Kiba stopped his eating for a second and looked up at the blonde, suspicion and some confusion apparent in his eyes. "How do you figure?" he asked slowly.

Ko just shrugged before replying, "Well, Hinata and that Shino guy took their opponents out pretty easily and you lasted longer than I thought you would against aniki," noticing Kiba's now angry and curious look, he decided to elaborate, "I'm really not kidding with you! I mean, if you hadn't let your emotions run, you probably would have done some serious damage to aniki!"while he was saying this, the child was also thinking,_ 'Course as soon as you did do damage to him it would heal then he'd go ape shit but still, hurting aniki is an accomplishment in and of itself'_

At hearing this, Kiba decided to just take the compliment, besides it felt nice to be flattered. "Thanks kid, but there's no way that creep is gonna beat Hinata," Kiba declared confidently.

Ko gave a small scowl at that. "Yeah right, aniki will kick her ass no problem!" he declared, "Naruto-nee is way too fast for her and he doesn't even have to get close to her to beat her!"

Kiba bristled a bit at this and decided to put the runt in his place, "Ha! I've seen that freak's speed and it's nowhere fast enough to escape Hinata's eyes! Besides, there is no way he'll be able to get past her ultimate defense, and even if he did Hinata is like smoke, untouchable!" Kiba shot back.

"Well Naruto could break her defense easy! Besides she's a Hyuuga, and Hyuuga don't fight long ranged so when she comes to try and hit aniki," here Ko punched his palm with enthusiasm, "POW! Lights out!" he exclaimed.

"Ha!" Kiba laughed, "Hinata doesn't need to get close to that baka to beat him! She'll just use her jutsu to take him down!"

Ko snorted at this, further irritating Kiba, "Oh yeah because Hyuuga have such AMAZING long range attacks," he said sarcastically.

Kiba was starting to see red so he didn't exactly use his rain when he said what he said next, "Hinata will roast him! She'll use her fire jutsu to turn him into freak flambé!" he roared.

Mentally, Ko started doing a victory dance in his head, a chibi version of himself dancing around while a chibi version of Kiba was crying and wearing a dunce cap with the kanji for dumbass inscribed on it. Outside, however, Ko just huffed and jumped out of his chair, "We'll see who wins dog boy, just be sure to ask what kind of flowers Hinata would like at her funeral!" he declared as he walked out of the room, leaving behind a very angry and irritated Kiba..

**With the original**

Naruto, while his familiars collected information, was wandering the hospital in search of his sensei or Sasuke's room, whichever he found first. Being who he was, the demon child couldn't just walk up to the hospital staff and ask to see someone, oh no, the hospital absolutely refused to have anything to do with him and as soon as they saw him, would drive him out.

"You'd think they'd appreciate all the business I give them," he spoke to himself. "But nooo! Steal a couple of patients for some research and they get pissed at you! Besides they were criminals sentenced to death anyway!" he ranted, "And where does it say I'm not allowed to take bodies from the morgue! I had to ransack the Uchiha family burial grounds to get a proper subject, and half of them had their freaking eyes ripped out!" he yelled while shaking his fists in the air. He stood like that for a moment before dropping his hands to his sides and adopting a bored look "Eh, like I care, got what I needed and they can't kick me out if they don't see me," with that, Naruto started shadow hopping through the hospital, searching for his targets. However he stopped shadow hopping in when he reached the hospital room of one Rock Lee, for something of interest had caught his attention.

That Suna boy, Gaara if Naruto remembered correctly, was in the room, sand waving behind him as the Nara heir had him locked in place with his clan's jutsu and Tenten, who had been checking on her teammate, had a katana drawn and at the ready.

Naruto stopped and watched the scene before him and he learned something that… unsettled him. He waited after everyone had gone before appearing in the room, a blank look on his face as he regarded the still unconscious cripple in front of him.

"He kills… so people will acknowledge him?" Naruto whispered. It sounded… familiar.

Suddenly pain lanced through Naruto's head as visions of what he could only guess were the past tore through his mind like a wild boar. The images were unsure but he began experiencing sensations that he had never thought he experienced. The feelings of safety, warmth of a comforting hug, the happiness that someone didn't hate him yet he had no idea where they were coming from! He'd been hated since day one and only ever found solace in Kyuubi, so he thought maybe they came from her?

No, no, these feelings were older, before that night. At least he guessed they were, he didn't really remember anything before that night except for pain, and solitude. But that pain, those images… they were too familiar to be something his own mind had conjured up to torture him and he hadn't a single nightmare since his transformation.

Either way, Naruto knew there was someone who had comforted him when he was small, someone who had actually cared for him, but he couldn't remember. He did know, that whoever it was, had given him a purpose, a reason to live.

Frowning, the demon child slowly melted back into the shadows and started traveling out of the hospital, he could find Kakashi another time, right now, Naruto just wanted to get his thoughts in order.

The Uzumaki grinned as he thought that, "I wonder what Hebi-hime is up to?" chuckled the hanyou.

**Drunken Kunai**

The Drunken Kunai was infamous among the Konoha because on any day of the week, you could always catch shinobi there, either celebrating a successful mission or trying to drown a failed one. Hell, it was the hangout spot for any shinobi over the rank of genin. As such, it was also a good place for a spy to gather information or to hide out in since the place had around the clock service and lodging.

Sitting at the bar was a rather attractive female. She had long, untamed red hair that reached just past the small of her back and intense brown eyes that seemed to scream 'back off or suffer' yet that only seemed to enhance her beauty in the eyes of the males who ogled her. She was wearing a pair of simple jeans along with a slightly fitting blue shoulder less shirt, revealing a pair of black bra straps and another pair of blue straps that held the shirt up. Finishing her look was a black skull cap. In all reality, she would have been overlooked if she had been a regular girl but for some reason, she had an aura that attracted many people, mostly males.

Due to this reason, the girl was starting to attract quite the group of drunken and lustful men. "Cum on baby, why dontcha dissch thish place and come with me?" said a drunken patron. "Pff like a fox like this would go anywhere with you! How about it hottie? Me an you," another said with a wink. More such comments came until the redhead had enough.

"Fucking shut up and get the hell out of my face you god damned shit heads!" roared the girl, surprising a good portion of the people with her foul mouth, alas it did nothing to deter them.

"She's a feisty one!" declared a drunkard and once again the men attempted to get into the pants of the increasingly annoyed redhead.

Reaching a boiling point, the girl was just about to teach the drunks to respect her personal space when she was stopped by a strangely happy but dangerous voice that made her pause in confusion while the men all quickly sobered up due to the fear.

"You know, if you guys are looking for a good time I'm always available," said the voice. Slowly, everyone turned to look and see who had spoken and low and behold, the voice belonged to no one other than one Anko Mitarashi. "So, who wants to spend a night with the sexy Anko-sama?" she asked with a grin.

The speed at which those men left could only be described as instantaneous. One minute they're there the next, POOF! Gone.

Anko laughed loudly at that while the red head just blinked before a smirk appeared on her lips. "Thanks, those fuckers were getting annoying," she sai.

Anko just waved her off before sitting on the stool next to her. "No worries, guys like that probably wouldn't last very long anyways, more like comedy relief than actual pleasure," Anko stated with a grin.

The red head laughed at that, she liked this girl, not even caring that she was a Konoha shinobi. "Names Tayuya," the now introduced red head said with an open hand.

Anko smirked as she shook the offered hand, "Anko Mitarashi, sexiest jounin of Konoha!" she declared, "Oi! Get me and my new friend here some drinks and dango! Chop chop before I start chopping!" Anko said with a sadistic grin towards the bartender, who just shook his head at the girl, but with a kind smile.

It didn't take long before both Tayuya and Anko were chatting and laughing with each other, both at ease with another and acting like old friends. It had been about two hours and both were feeling tipsy when a familiar voice caused both girls to shiver, but for different reasons.

"So this is where you went, drinking and laughing with a beautiful woman," said a playful voice but it held undertones of a sinister and crazed nature. Both ladies turned and saw a man with grey spiky wild hair, the tips colored a red reminiscent of dried blood, and yellow eyes that danced with mirth and a certain spark of insanity. "Oh Hebi-hime, you wound me!" he said dramatically placing the back of his hand to his head while the other flew to his chest over his heart, "here I am, ready to give you a life filled with passion and happiness but instead I find you at a bar with this beautiful stranger!"

Tayuya blinked before she glared at the man. She was not a fucking lesbian and was about to tell the bastard off when he said something she never expected to hear, "You wound me! How can I love you when there is now another player in this game of love!" he declared before kneeling in front of Tayuya and taking her hand, "Oh gorgeous woman! Would do me the honor of sharing me between you and my hime? I promise to never leave you wanting!" Tayuya was flabbergasted and was unsure what to do. "Besides, I've always wanted to have a threesome, or a foursome, whichever comes first," he said with a cheeky grin.

…

"YOU PERVERTED LITTLE ASSHOLE!" Tayuya shouted before kicking the blonde in the head, causing said smiling skulll to fly off and hit the wall across the room. Everybody stared in shock at the decapitated body and Anko was shaking.

Suddenly confettin burst from the 'corpse' with a loud pop while a tiny mariachi band appeared on the head and started playing, with fireworks and a discoball in the background.

When it ended the 'corpse' went poof with a simple note in its place. On it were tow simple words or a single command if you prefer.

_Turn around._

Tayuya slowly turned and…

"KA-BOOM!"

"KYAAAAA!"

Tayuya screamed as Naruto popped out from behind the bar with a shit eating grin on his face, which scared the hell out of Tayuya. Anko and Naruto exploded into laughter at the girl's reaction while the other patrons just sighed in exasperation. When you live in Konoha, shit like this happens a lot and people learned to just roll with it. Less headaches that way.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" Tayuya angrily yelled at the cackling Naruto.

Controlling himself, the demon just smiled at her and said, "Life's no fun without a good scare," he chuckled.

Anko chuckled as she wiped a tear from her eye before she grabbed the grey-headed boy by the shirt and dragged him over the bar to sit in her lap. Naruto didn't complain as Anko wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I was wondering when you'd come looking for me again," Anko purred into his ear. "I thought maybe you'd have forgotten me and if that had happened I'd have to castrate you,"

Naruto just laughed before grabbing two sake dishes. He handed one to Anko and wrapped his arm that held his drink, with the arm that held her drink. "Here's to good times," Naruto declared happily.

"To good times!" Anko agreed, and with that, both of them drank their beverages in perfect synchronization. Giving satisfied sighs, the two then threw their dishes away and proceeded to make out.

Tayuya's eyebrow twitcged while a blush started to form across her face. Seeing as how the two didn't seem likely to stop anytime soon Tayuya decided to stop them the only way she knew how.

SMASH!

Which means she broke a sake bottle over their heads.

"Itai! What the hell was that for?" demanded Anko angry at having been interrupted while Naruto had swirls in his eyes.

"And a very unhappy birthday to you as well," Naruto slurred in a broken british accent.

Tayuya just rolled her eyes at the two but a smirk came to her lips all the same. "Unless you plan on giving a free show to these people, you might want to find someplace else to fuck,"

"Jealous?" Anko asked with a cheeky grin.

Tayuya blushed at that and tried to splutter out a response. Once again Naruto and Anko laughed at her.

For hours, the trio talked and drank much of the day and part of the night away, all enjoying a good time. Sadly the time had come for them to part and as they all left there separate ways, Tayuya couldn't help the frown that marred her face.

'_Sucks that they're probably gonna die, but no one goes aginst the pedophile's orders'_ she thought with an angry growl a hand came up and rubbed a spot on her neck. Unbeknownst to her, a black figure was following the cursing woman. Not a single feature could be seen of it until it entered a brief shaft of moonlight and even then the only thing illuminated was the strange X stitched into the shoulder of his grey coat.

**A/N: And so it thickens! Well, sorry I haven't updated this in a while but life is life soo… BRING ME MORE FOOD! I REQUIRE THE SUSTENANCE THAT ONLY CAN BE PROVIDED THROUGH REVIEWS! REVIEW OR I SHALL DEVOR MY HANDS AND NEVER TYPE AGAIN!**

**DO IT! DO IT NOOOUUUGGGHH!**

…

**Ja ne!**


	11. Of Perverts and Women

**Laughter of the Broken**

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Demon/Summons speaking"**

'_**Demon/Summons thinking'**_

**A/N: Ok, first off you guys are FREAKING AWESOME! Your reviews seriously make me feel like I'm on top of the world! As such, I'd like to thank and reply to some of the ones who have written.**

**The Fanfic Stealer: Thanks for telling me that little tidbit of information, because seriously, I always thought it was. Now why did Mr. N-Stache use it though? Eh.**

**Tristan76: Seriously? My fic is that funny? Damn, better be careful with this power or people are gonna end up in hospitals dead with smiles on their faces! Then there would be an investigation… which means they'd find this story.. then they'd find me… I'm gonna need a safehouse, some fake I.D's and an abandoned doughnut factory.**

**Sage of Asgard: Thank you oh blessed one for this bountiful harvest of pancakes!**

**And Starfire99: Eh hehehe… Didn't notice I spelled Temari wrong but is it really that big a deal I put Subaku before her name? I mean, there are plenty of other stories that do the same thing I did but I've never seen someone call them out on it.**

**Mellowsmilie:… I can understand your want to make love to a schoolboy… and did you just call me Mr. Slave?... Oh my god its Kurumu!... Or something close to that! Run for it Ko!**

**Ok now that that's done… LETS GO! TO THE FANFIC! *****Starts spinning the world of LotB*******

Feeling dizzy, sick and extremely disoriented a certain warrior stopped and clutched his head,

Ko, seeing Senso had stopped walking next to him, turned to his brother figure. "Eh? Whats wrong with you Sens? Asked the child familiar.

Senso merely rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms before he glared up into the sky. "Some fucking asshole thought it would be funny to spin the fucking universe!" he shouted at the blue sky angrily.

"Uh… are you sure we should be breaking the fourth wall this early in the chapter?" asked Ko nervously.

"Pfft, like it matters, damn moron probably thought it'd be funny and just added it in," Senso responded as he started to walk again. Unfortunately, the writer decided that the character should learn his place and proceeded to exact their revenge.

A whistling sound could be heard, steadily getting louder andlouder. Confused Senso and Ko looked up and saw… well they saw a really big rock falling towards them… I mean, it was a freaking big rock! Like fucking humongous! I mean this rock was just so-

SMASH!

The writer is cutoff as the big rock (Fucking huge rock! I mean **click-click** ok I'll be quiet now...) landed directly on top of Senso while it completely missed Ko by an actual centimeter. On the rock were four simple words.

_GET ON WITH IT!_

Ko blinked before he laughed, completely unaware of the hand that was trying to claw its way out from under the rock.

When he finally did notice, he saw a very pissed Senso, well he saw the war clone's right arm and shoulder along with his furious face that was covered in dirt and some bruises. "If you're done laughing how bout you get this thing off of me!" he shouted.

Ko just smiled and approached the rock. Clapping his hands together, the child started to gather chakra to his hands and, slowly, metal gloves appeared over his hands along with claws over his nails. Finishing the weapon was an extremely long chain made of bladed links that connected both gloves. Grinning, Ko reared back with both fists and stood back on his left foot, the right ready to step forward. Senso watched in anticipation as Ko's face became neutral, his eyes closed and body still as a statue. Then…

Tanned eyelids snapped open to reveal piercing blue eyes. "HYYOOSSSHAAA!" Ko yelled as he stepped forward and his fists connected with the boulder. "Ko's Big Attack! Double Power Punch!" yelled the young man, and with that exclamation, the boulder shattered into gravel and scattered all over the place. Senso grunted a thanks while getting up. Ko just shrugged and started walking again before he stopped and turned around. "What were we doing again?" he asked in an innocent voice.

Senso merely rolled his eyes and picked the smaller familiar up by the back of his shirt and placed him on his shoulder. "We're collecting information, remember? Boss said to get any and all information on any possible opponents he'll be facing while he goes to meet his new sensei for the next three weeks while the Scarecrow trains the Uchiha," Senso responded.

Ko blinked before grinning then nodding his head in understanding. "So who should we look for first?" asked the child.

Senso just smirked as they continued to walk along the back roads of Konoha. "Tenten is off limits because she's family so no luck there. Shikamaru is just smart with his family's jutsu so that's easy," he began listing off the contestants, "Shino will be a bigger problem so we definitely need to watch him. That Kankuro kid is a puppetmaster so all we gotta do is smash the puppet, most likely just summon the hyenas to take him so again, no problems,"

"So we're going to go and spy on the bug guy, the mummy, the insane sandman and the princess with the blind eyes," Ko affirmed, nodding to himself. "Right then! Who do we go after first?" he asked excitedly.

Senso stopped in the middle of the street and was silent as a blank expression came over his face. Ko thought he was thinking, but that was all shattered when Senso gave a cry of frustration.

"WHERE THE HECK ARE WE GONNA FIND THESE GUYS?" he screamed.

Ko merely laughed before patting the warrior's head happily. "No worries Sens! I'll get us there easy!" he said.

"Yes!" Senso said in agreement, the fires of renewed determination now in his eyes. "Alright Ko! Lead me to our first target!"

"You got it! Go that way!" Ko said, pointing at a building to their right. With an excited grin, Senso dashed in the direction before smashing through the wall, leaving behind human shaped outlines and echoes of Ko's laughter.

**Hot springs**

"Ah," sighed a female voice as she slid into the warm outdoor springs of Konoha. "Nothing like a nice soak to relieve the stress of the day, right Kimiko?" asked the woman to her friend.

"No doubt, but I can think of several other things that can relieve the stress just as good, Shina," said another female voice.

"Hm? Like what?" Shina asked. Her friend replied by splashing her in the face with the hot spring water. For the next few minutes the two girls engaged in a splash war, both shrieking and giggling and neither aware of the perverted cackling and furious scribbling of a pencil on paper that came from behind the fence.

"This is perfect! Just perfect!" giggled the man that was peeping on the girls as he continued to scribble away in his notebook. "Ooooh! Very nice indeed! Easiy D! Maybe even G!" he giggled again while he wrote, completely oblivious to the two people behind him.

"Having fun Chie?" asked a voice with amusement. Chie stopped his writing as he recognized the voice and turned to greet it, only to pale at finding out who was with the voice.

Standing there was Naruto Uzumaki grinning like there was no tomorrow. That in its own right is unnerving but it was the person, or rather, _woman_ next to him that had Chie sweating bullets.

"Yes Chie, are you enjoying yourself? Asked the voice of Anko, it's sickeningly sweet tone doing nothing to hide her obvious fury and desire to murder the clone.

"Also, why aren't you helping Tenten train? I distinctly remember promising her that YOU would help her with her swordsmanship and her upcoming battle with the Nara?" asked Naruto, tapping his chin with one of the needles in his glove. "My mind must be screwing me with me again because I also remember going to check on Tenten's training but instead I found her angrily attacking a training dummy that was in the distinct likeliness of you, but that's just silly!"

If Chie had been sweating bullets before, now he was sweating guns. Being the embodiment of logic, he knew that his best chance was to offer a reasonable explanation as to why he wasn't training Tenten and why he was peeping instead. Unfortunately, Naruto was insane and Anko hated peeping toms. So the only logical conclusion Chie could reach was this.

Run or be subjugated to extreme pain.

"Well the reason I'm here and not with Ten- CHANCE!" he started before shouting and vanishing into his shadow.

Naruto just grinned before shaking his head. Anko however frowned in annoyance that her prey escaped and was about to track him down when Naruto's voice stopped her, "No need to even worry about it Hebi-hime," he chuckled.

Anko gave the man a disbelieving look. "You're really gonna let him go just like that?" she asked.

Naruto just laughed before he started walking again. "Chie won't be coming back here and he'll most likely head back to Tenten. If he doesn't, Vixen-chan will find him," Anko blinked before she cackled evilly. In any event, that pervert was gonna get what was coming to him. Running to catch up to her companion, Anko fell in step beside Naruto. "So why are we at the hotsprings anyway? You're not trying to look at me naked are you Naruto-kun?" she asked seductively.

Naruto chuckled before turning to her. "Trust me, I'll see that soon enough,"

Anko blinked and scowled at him, "And why is that?" she swore that if he said anything about her being easy, he'd get it good.

"Because you interest me, and I'm gonna make you interested in me," he said casually. Anko, not expecting that response just blinked with confusion stamped on her face. "As for why we're here, Kakashi said my new sensei would be here, more specifically, next to the women's hotsprings,"

Anko growled as she heard that, "I still can't believe that bastard left both of= his students just to train the Uchiha," she spat the name like it was poison. Anko had little love for the late clan. "And he even has the gall to just ship you off to find some pervert! How do we know this guy will even have anything to teach you?" she ranted.

Naruto just shrugged, "Sasuke needs the help more than I do and the pink banshee's a failure, I'm pretty sure Kakashi's waiting for her to either die or give up," here Naruto grinned, "I've got a betting pool on her dieing, you want in?" he asked.

Anko looked surprised before she smirked. "I'll bet five hundred that she gives up," she said with a smug grin.

Naruto laughed at that with Anko soon following suit. They spent another ten to twenty minutes searching for what may be Naruto's teacher but alas, no luck. They had spent most of the morning searching for this guy before finding Chie, and had only found the geta wearing familiar because of his perverse giggling. That had been a clue given to them by Kakashi.

"God damnit!" Anko finally exploded in annoyance. "We've searched everywhere for this guy! I'm starting to think the Cyclops sent us on a wild goose chase!"

Naruto merely shrugged, "Kakashi said to check out areas where women are either naked or wearing little clothing, follow the sounds of perverse giggling and if in none of those places, head to the bars,"

"It would have been better if he gave us an actual description of the guy!" Anko shouted, "All he gave us was the description of every pervert known to man! Oh wait not every pervert," she said sarcastically, "no he gave us the description of the SUPER PERVERT!" the purple haired woman then proceeded to cross her arms and scowl into space, lost in her own little world of how she was going to kill Kakashi.

Naruto stared at her for a minute before a devilish smile came to his face and a scary glint entered his eyes. "Kukuku…" that… Kukuku… just might work," he whispered to himself. Quickly putting on his usual smirk, the grey haired boy quickly walked up to Anko.

Sensing someone behind her Anko quickly turned to see Naruto right behind her. "Hebi-hime, I think this search has got you a little stressed out," he whispered to her. Anko blinked and was about to respond that she felt fine when the man in front of her spoke again, "Why don't we take a dip in the hot springs in one of the _private_ baths?" he suggested with a small smirk.

Anko's eyes widened slightly at that, She felt her face heat up, her heart beat a little faster and her breathing become a little erratic. Somehow, she was still able to grin and say, "Sounds good to me!"

**Private Hotspring**

These kinds of places were rented out mostly to couples, private partys or those who were self conscious but still loved a good soak now and again. As such, the private bathing areas of the hotsprings cost quite the pretty penny. Yet Naruto, an orphan, hated by the majority of the village people was casually seated in the hotspring, waiting for a certain purple haired kunoichi to come out and join him.

Now you must be asking, how in the hell does someone like Naruto afford this? Doesn't he live in the Forest of Death, making him essentially homeless? The answer is quite simple. Naruto's a terrifying psychopath willing to kill anyone to get what he wants… ok most anyone, there were a few exceptions. As such, the blonde merely threatened the place's owner and voila! Instant hot spring relaxation at half price!

'_Wonder if threatening to use his arteries as ramen noodles was a little to far… wonder how that tastes?'_ thought the demon boy. As he sat there thinking about cannibalism, Naruto completely missed the entrance of a certain woman. He did however, feel the presence of someone behind him.

Tilting his head back the grey haired boy let a grin form on his face as he stared at the upside down and smirking face of a towel clad Anko. "Enjoying the view?" she asked casually.

Naruto chuckled at her and shifted over to the right to make room for the woman. "I always enjoy the view my little viper, so long as it something that interests me," he replied as the woman slipped off her towel and tossed it into the man's face.

Naruto laughed as he removed the towel to see Anko had already submerged her more intimate parts by the water. "Aw that's hardly fair Anko-chan," he said in a mock pout.

"Neither is having sex in my tower without telling me," she shot back with a grin.

"And how exactly did you find out about that?" he asked before a lecherous smile came to his face, "Sounds like someone's been peeping," he giggled, "You know, we would have asked you to join us," he stated.

Anko turned crimson at that. Kyuubi had said almost the same thing except she had included a few… details. She shook her head a bit at that, what the hell was wrong with her? She was Anko Mitarashi damnit! Yet every time this insane little gaki and his vixen have the audacity to make her blush like some prim and proper little princess with their invitation! Besides, Anko does not share what is hers, and if she does SHE takes the longest turn!

She glanced over at Naruto who seemed to be dozing off. This got her a little more peeved. That bastard! He gets all suggestive with his offer to bathe privately together and he has the balls to fall asleep in her naked glory? Oh fuck no! Time to show this brat his place!

Slowly, Anko started to rise out of the water, the slight sounds of disturbed water not escaping the enhanced hearing of our psychopathic hero. Curious, Naruto looked over and his eyes nearly popped out of his head, for before him was a sight any hot blooded male would kill to see.

Anko stood tall, her body glistening from the reflection of light on her soaked naked body, and oh what a body it was! Fair unblemished skin coupled with a flat stomach and legs that seemed to stretch for miles. Couple with this nice full breasts with cute pink nipples and a neat and a neat and trim… well lets just say Anko was a naturally purple haired woman. All of this provides quite the image and Naruto, well all he could really do was stare in amazement and no small amount of perversion.

Anko slowly approached Naruto in a way he never imagined possible. The phrase "with a sway that should be illegal" failed to describe the way she approached him in. In a sense, it was almost like she was slithering/dancing closer to him, her entire body shifting and swaying ever so slightly as she approached, a sexy smirk on her face.

Anko reached her target and bent over to look into Naruto's eyes, her arms pushing her impressive bust up for the demon boy's viewing pleasure. Slowly her left hand came up and wiped above Naruto's upper lip, before coming back with her digits the color of crimson.

"Having pervy thoughts Foxy-kun?" she purred. The grey haired male blinked before feeling where she had, and coming away with slightly red hands.

He had a nosebleed.

He was pulled from his viewing when he heard a slight moan and sucking sound. Shifting his gaze back to original focus, he saw Anko sucking her left hand's fingers while the right, slowly caressed her body, teasing towards but never touching her most intimate of areas. With a pop, Anko released her left index finger and licked her lips as she stared at Naruto hungrily.

"Your blood is still as delicious as ever," she said softly, "It's so rich and wonderful, it makes me so…" here she trailed off as she slowly took Naruto's bloodied hand and began licking and sucking all of the precious life liquid off of it.

However before the mood could progress one single sound broke the silence.

It was a giggling sound, followed by the frantic scribbling of pen on paper.

There was a pause as Anko mentally debated between killing the hidden pervert, or continue anyway and put on a show for some lucky son of a bitch. Deciding to go with the latter, she attempted to return her ministrations, but alas, Naruto was gone.

Anko stared.

…

'_Did he just?'_ she asked mentally.

…

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU WITH A FUCKING SHOEHORN YOU LITTLE PISS ANT!" she roared in pure fury, the water around her literally boiling with the power of her rage.

It was at this moment a scream of terror permitted the air followed by cruel laughter and the sound of something musical and solid smacking against the skull of a human. Seconds later a man fell into the hotspring where Anko was.

Seconds after landing, the man leapt out of the water with a cry of pain from nearly being boiled alive.

The man was tall, that much was obvious. He had slightly tanned skin with a single wart on his nose and he had long spiky white hair tied in a low ponytail that reached to his lower back. If this was not strange enough, then his attire confirmed it.

He wore a red cloak with two yellow circles on the shoulders while under that he wore a short green kimono with matching loose pants and underneath that was what appeared to be fishnet armor. On his forehead was a horned head protector with the kanji for oil on it while two red streaks went under his eyes vertically. Finishing this ensemble was a pair of geta sandals and a large scroll strapped to his back.

The man groaned and sat up, completely oblivious to Anko and her fury. "God dammit!" he cursed, "Who the hell hits a guy with a bass guitar?" he muttered to himself, "And where the hell did he get it? He and that hot chick Anko were just about to become the stars of my next book!" he declared crying anime tears.

Anko immediately knew who this guy was and had already summoned a whole slew of snakes to bind the unfortunate peeper. Jiraiya, who was having trouble breathing, looked at the naked woman and immediately his eyes popped out of his head with his tongue and jaw on the floor,schooling his features, he put on a lecherous grin and cocked an eyebrow at the girl. "You know, I'm not really into this kind of stuff but if it's with you, I think I can manage," he declared.

Anko merely rolled her eyes, "Only in your dream Jiraiya," she drawled with no small amount of anger and venom in her words.

"Aha! So you have heard of me?" he declared before a giant poof of white smoke enveloped him. When it cleared, it revealed Jiraiya standing on the back of a red toad the size of a bear. "Yes! Let all evildoers quake in fear!" he declared while starting to dance, a strange kind of kabuki music playing in the back of the. "For the great toad sage has arrived! My name makes all the woman swoon and all the men bow in respect!" here he started hopping around on one sandaled foot "For I am the one, the only, the greatly respected and loved, JIRAIYA!" he yelled loudly.

Anko merely gave him a blank look and said, "Please, your just a pervert." She deadpanned.

Jiraiya took on an affronted look and yelled back, "I'm not a pervert! I'm a SUPER PERVERT!" he yelled proudly. Unfortunately, Jiraiya had just unknowingly lit a bomb with an extremely short fuse.

Naruto sat in a tree, a telescope in hand as he watched the scene unfold. He watched (and heard- the guy had a very loud voice) as Jiraiya declared himself a super pervert. A grin spread acroos his face as the snake woman then proceeded to attack Jiraiya with a… where the hell did she get that big ass rock? And what was she going to do with that curling iron?

"Huh, and they call me sadistic," Naruto said as he watched through the telescope with one hand while the other was taking notes. A high pitched shriek filled the air and Naruto grinned, "Whole new definition for the phrase hot shit," he cackled as his tail came up with a box of popcorn that soon started disappearing down the ninja's gullet. "Best plan ever," he mumbled around a mouth full of popcorn.

**Couple hours later**

After Anko had finished torturing Jiraiya, the two had dragged the man to a wide but shallow river with few trees growing near it. It was mostly stone and barren earth that surrounded the banks. Currently, Jiraiya was sitting on the ground in the lotus position, a bored look on his face while Naruto sat across from him. Anko stood behind the toad sage, in case he tried to run.

"Ok brat, mind telling me why you dragged me here and who the hell you are?" asked the white haired man in a bored tone.

Naruto chuckled slightly, "I dragged you here because the one eyed wonder ninja told me that you'd be my sensei for the chuunin exams," he replied evenly.

Jiraiya raised a brow at that, "And why would I do that? I've got better things to do than babysit a brat," he stated.

"Like peeking on women and couples?" asked Anko.

"Exactly, how else am I supposed to find research for my books?" Jiraiya asked while thumping his chest. Completely ignoring the murderous look from Anko, the pervert turned his gaze back to thhe grey haired boy. "Well? You going to tell me why I should help you?" he asked.

Naruto shrugged, "Hatake told me to tell you this," he cleared his throat and in an exact duplicate of Kakashi's voice said, "You owe it to his father,"

Jiraiya raised a brow and started to feel a small amount of dread build within the pit of his stomach. "And who exactly are you?" asked the white haired man. While to many it would seem he had asked it casually but to Anko, she saw the dread in it and how Jiraiya's body tensed ever so slightly.

He was nervous about the answer.

Naruto grinned. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki,"

Jiraiya stared at the demon boy with what would be the perfect poker face but on the inside he was recoiling in horror. He needed to talk to Sarutobi, but that could wait. First, he might as well give the kid some training and a piece of his heritage.

"Alright brat, I'll train you but you have to do something for me first," he stated while crossing his arms.

"While I don't really care if you watch or not, I'm pretty sure Hebi-hime doesn't want to star in your next novel, mister Icha Icha," Naruto replied while standing up before taking up a thinking pose, "Though I can't say the same for Vixen-chan," he mused.

Jiraiya blinked owlishly before a lecherous look took over his face. However the killing intent from Anko quickly made it vanish. "Nothing like that kid," he stated before removing the scroll from his back and unrolling it, "I want you to sign your name on the toad summoning scroll," he declared.

Naruto gave him a blank look, "Why would I want to do that?" he asked in a bored tone.

Jiraiya blanched at that. "What? What do you mean why?" he sputtered, "Do you know how many ninja would kill to sign a summoning contract? I'm offering you the toads here. One of the most diverse summons around! Their perfect for combat, recon and are excellent messengers!" he explained. "The toads are powerful and even the Fourth Hokage signed with them!"

Naruto merely gave him a disinterested look, "So? I already have a summoning contract," he stated causing The old man's jaw to drop.

"Already have a…?" he shook his head and frowned, "Oh yeah? Then what contract?" he demanded.

"Hyenas," Naruto stated as he laid down and stared at the sky. Anko watched with amusement as Jiraiya became more and more annoyed.

"Hyenas?" he asked, "They can't be all that great, since I've never even heard of them before, "Jiraiya stated haughtily.

Naruto sat up on his elbows and a smirk formed on his face. "I doubt Alala would take kindly to you saying that, nor would any of the other members of the pack," he stated.

Jiraiya just grinned, "Bring it on brat! I'm the Toad Sage of Mount Myoboku! These scavengers will be nothing compared to the power of the toads!' he declared confidently._ 'Brat doesn't know who he's dealing with, besides there is no way he could have gotten his hands on a good contract, probably one of the lesser ones,'_ thought Jiraiya. He was feeling pretty good until Naruto did the handsigns and summoned a huge amount of chakra. Enough that could summon his boss toad two times.

"Summoning Jutsu! Alala!" cried Naruto as he slammed his hand on the ground. Not even an instant after his hand touched the ground did a giant poof of smoke envelop the entire area along with a gust of wind that had saplings and small trees flying out of the ground.

_Shit! This thing must be huge!'_ Jiraiya thought as he felt the creature appear. However when the smoke cleared it revealed a figure neither Anko nor Jiraiya were expecting.

"Who dares to challenge me? Alala, mother of the Hyena and ruler of Bonde Kufa?" declared a deep but feminine voice. Towering next to Naruto was a woman about three inches taller than Jiraiya. She had richly dark skin, and she practically defined the word 'Amazon'. Her body was in perfect shape, not overly muscular or averagely fit. Her black hair was done in cornrows that reached just above her shoulder blades, but it never came in front of her face or in front of her ears. Her eyes were a light brown with a face that screamed royalty. It was as if her visage was sculpted from stone by master artisans. Her stance showed that she was a warrior and was further reinforced by her hard gaze and the eight foot spear in her left hand. This was what Anko took note of and she wasin awe of her. Jiraiya on the other hand took note of the features that most appealed to him.

As said before, Alala had a very well toned body and was very tall so she had the 'mile long legs' that went into a nice round and pert derriere. She also had the flat stomach and the icing on the cake for Jiraiya was her boobs, which were huge, firm and perky. She had a bust that could challenge Tsunade's! Another bonus was that she was wearing very little in regards to clothing. All she wore was two pieces of tan cloth that covered wrapped around her chest and kept her breasts from getting in the way while covering her lower regions was a simple loincloth of the same color. Other than that, she was wearing nothing, unless you counted the three black wood bracelets on each arm, the bone and leaf necklace, and the ivy band around her right thigh.

"I'll ask again, who challenges me?" she boomed, slamming the butt of her spear on the ground for emphasis. Seeing only an old man whose nose was bleeding profusely and a purple haired woman who seemed in awe the dark skinned woman turned her head to look down at a sitting Naruto. The demon boy merely shrugged and grinned back at her. The woman seemed to nod her head before walking forwards.

Seiing the woman approach, Jiraiya quickly wiped his face clean and grinned. "Well hello there! My name's Jiraiya and-" he was cut off as Alala just walked past him, not even sparing him a glance. She stopped in front of Anko.

"Are you the one known as Anko Mitarashi?" she asked in a much quieter voice, though it still thrummed with power.

Surprised Anko nodded with wide and slightly confused eyes. The tall woman hummed in thought as she started looking the woman up and down. She circled Anko once slowly, her eyes focused and calculating. Stopping in front of the snake summoner once more, Alala bent forward and looked Anko in the eyes.

For what seemed an eternity, Anko felt like her very being was bared before this woman, that the matriarch in front of her was judging her entire person and everything that made it what it was. In reality, only a couple of minutes had passed.

Alala then stood up and took two steps away from the other woman. Suddenly, with amazing speed, Alala swung her spear at Anko. Reacting instantly, Anko bent backwards and dodged the weapon. Straightening again. Her eyes widened when she saw Alala throw a punch at her. Acting on instinct, Anko knocked the fist away and went for a spear hand to the other woman's throat. Alala caught it and grinned at the other woman.

"I approve of this one Naruto," she declared while throwing the hand away and walking back towards a grinning Naruto.

"Course you would! She is one hell of a woman, just like you Alala," he declared. Alala smiled softly and nodded then proceeded to smack Naruto over the head with her spear.

"That's for summoning me outside of battle, I've told you countless times before, only use that much chakra for battles!" she berated a laughing Naruto.

"But I did summon you for battle," he laughed.

"Then where is my opponent?"

Naruto grinned and pointed at Jiraiya. The man then in turn smirked and began to strut up to the woman. "Listen, I know we're supposed to fight but how bout i-" the man was cut off when he had to avoid getting impaled through his abdomen by the woman's giant spear.

"Oi! I was trying to-" once again he was cut off by Alala nearly decking him in the face with a straight right, followed by her trying to trip him with her spear. Jiraiya was able to avoid her by jumping to a safe distance, but the giant woman was fast on his heels and using a rapid series of thrusts with her spear to try and impale the toad summoner. "What the hell is wrong with-," Jiraiya was cut off by the fist that buried itself in his face. The pervert was then launched back first into a tree, broke through said tree, and ended up nearly breaking his back on a rock. Alala stated to slowly walk towards his downed body.

"Quit talking and fight," she spoke in her voice that was like dull thunder, "Or stop moving and die!" she roared as she ran at her target.

While the two fought, Anko was chatting with Naruto. "So that's Alala?" she asked nonchalantly. Naaruto nodded. "And she's the Hyena boss summons?"

"Yuppers,"

Anko stared at him, "Why the hell is she a human?" she asked.

Naruto just shrugged, "Human form," he stated nonchalantly.

The special jpunin stared at Naruto. "Ok, why the hell do authors give powerful female demons and summons a human form?" she asked.

Naruto gave her an odd look, "You want to read about the main character having sex with a fox the size of a mountain?"

Anko was silent before she sighed, "Forget I asked," she muttered. It was at that moment that Jiraiya was tossed on the ground in front of the two. They stared at the twitching and broken heap that was once the super pervert.

"Ouuu…" groaned the man before giving a cry of pain as Alala slammed the blunt end of her spear into the man's crotcht.

"Next time you summon me, make it worth my while," Alala told Naruto, "And be sure to treat this one right," she said pointing at Anko.

"Of course Alala," Naruto chuckled, "Oh, what do you think of this man?" he asked pointing at Jiraiya.

She glanced at him and shrugged. "He is powerful, and very entertaining to fight," she stated.

Naruto grinned. "Good, because I'm going to be learning from him," he stated happily. Alala laughed and gave the demon boy a bone crushing hug before setting him down.

"Visit us sometime Naruto, and bring your mates," she said before vanishing in a poof of in pain Jiraiya stood up and glared at the boy.

"I am going to run you into the ground gaki," he growled.

Naruto merely grinned in response. "Then why are you standing there, let's start training,"

**Later that evening**

The moon was a crescent that night, but it was partially hidden by the black clouds that dotted the evening sky. High above the ground on the rooftops stood a lone figure. The figure was female, with long red hair and scowling brown eyes. Her attire was strange, it consisted of a tan tunic, a purple rope belt, a black skull cap on her head with bandages wrapped around it to keep it their. She wore the standard black shinobi sandals along with black shinobi shorts. Currently she was standing their, her eyes roving over the landscape and her right hand tapping against her thigh in a nervous tattoo.

"Damnit, where the fuck are they?" she whispered angrily to herself. She glanced down at her attire and growled, "I hate this uniform," she grumbled.

"So sorry to hear that Tayuya-chan," spoke a voice behind her. Whirling around she frowned upon coming face to face to Orochimaru's right hand man and personal sex slave.

Kabuto Yakushi.

"However, I doubt Orochimaru-sama would appreciate hearing that, especially after all the effort he made into making it for you all," Kabuto declared while adjusting his glasses.

Tayuya rolled her eyes, "Whatever, where the fuck is everyone?" she demanded. The redhead despised the man in front of her.

Kabuto just shrugged, "They're preparing for the plan of course," he stated.

"Then why the fuck am I here?" she asked angrily.

Kabuto smirked, "It's simple really, I'm here to give you your job for the invasion," he stated. He ignored Tayuya's twitching brow and continued speaking, "Now, your job is simple, after Orochimaru-sama had defeated the hokage, you will drop the barrier and vansh,"

"This doesn't seem that much different from the old plan," Tayuya stated in a bored tone.

Kabuto smirked, "Ah, but instead of coming back with us to the base, you're going to stay here," he stated.

Tayuya's jaw dropped and then she exploded on Kabuto, "Why the fuck do I have to stay in this shithole? Can't you get someone else to do it?" she demanded.

Kabuto chuckled in his throat, "No, we need you to do a very important job, a job perfect for your skills,"

Tayuya narrowed her eyes at that, "What do you mean by that?" she questioned. "I don't see how playing my flute and summoning Doki will help unless you want me to start haunting this town, and if a green and yellow van appear with a punch of hippies and a talking dog, I'm going to kill the author!" she declared.

Kabuto stared at her. "What the hell are you talking about?" he asked. "Never mind I don't care or want to know," he quickly said. "We need you for your other talent,"

Tayuya was stone walled by that one. She didn't speak but just sat there, not believing what she just heard. Kabuto smiled and kept speaking, "Orochimaru wants you to collect as many samples as you can," he stated, "If you refuse," here he gave a wicked grin, "well you can't really refuse now can you? Have them ready by the time we come for the Uchiha," with that, the twisted medical ninja vanished.

Tayuya stayed there for a moment, trying to comprehend what she had just been ordered to do. When she did, a look of utter rage crossed her face and she would have screamed to the heavens and go try and get Kabuto, but she couldn't. Instead she simply vanished into the night, leaving not a trace that anyone was there. Only the stars and moon had witnessed this event, or at least, that was what she believed.

Had the fiery tempered redhead turned back, she would have seen a figure in dark clothing crawl onto the building before standing up and smoothing out it's trenchcoat.

The figure turned it's goggled and helmeted head towards the moon and sighed, "Verdammt, but Leader will want to know," sighed the figure. Reaching into one of it's coat pockets, the man withdrew a cigarette and pulled his mask down with a free hand. Bringing the cancer stick to his lips, he lit it with a casual snap of his fingers. Cold black eyes looked towards the sky, and he exhaled a cloud of smoke.

"Lästig," he muttered before slowly sinking into his shadow.

**A/N: And so the plot thickens! Next chapter the excitement comes because next time… IT'S THE CHUUNIN EXAMS! Sorry, but I can't wait anymore and I thought 'Why not just leave them with a cliffhanger after starting the first match?' then my inner hipster said, "That's so mainstream, why don't you try being original for once? Go against the flow?"… For once I decided to listen to it, because I still haven't found a way to kill it… Anyway please review! Let's go Sancho, cactuses wont rape themselves!**


	12. Naruto vs Hinata

**Laughter of the Broken**

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Demon/Summons speaking"**

'_**Demon/Summons thinking'**_

**A/N: Hello all! Apparently I broke the 4****th**** wall too much… Sorry I just wanted to test the limits on that, besides not every chapter can be a great one. Anywhooo! I say it's time I wrote some ACTION! And I really have to review for spelling errors… Ah well, lets get started!**

**P.S Remind me to never go cactus raping with Sancho ever again…**

"What the hell happened to my godson?" Jiraiya roared as he slammed his hands on the desk of the hokage. The man had spent the entire month helping Naruto train, and he had learned some very… disturbing things about his student.

Sarutobi merely sighed, "So you have been training him," he muttered.

The white haired man snorted in annoyance, "Of course I trained him! Now, would you mind telling me why he's a murdering psychopath?" he nearly shouted.

The hokage merely glared at Jiraiya, "And since when does Naruto's well being concern you?" asked the old man in a scolding tone.

"I'm his godfather! I-" Jiraiya stated but was cut off by his sensei's killing intent.

"You have no right to claim that title!" Sarutobi snapped, "You have never cared about Naruto! You never came to visit the boy, came to see how he was doing and you sure as hell weren't there to protect him!" the hokage accused.

Jiraiya blinked at that before glaring right back at him. "And you were?" he shot back, "Seems to me you've done nothing to protect him besides making that stupid law, which didn't change a damn thing!"

"HOW DARE YOU?" roared Sarutobi, his killing intent and fury causing Jiraiya to cringe while the hidden ANBU fought the urge to flee in terror. "Do you have an idea how much I have done for that boy?" he shouted.

Being who he was, Jiraiya spoke what he thought. "Not much it seems," muttered the man. The next thing the Sannin knew, he had been backhanded across the room by his sensei who was shaking with rage.

"YOU WILL BE SILENT YOU INSOLENT FOOL!" screamed Sarutobi. "Let me ask you something Jiraiya, how does a murdering psychopath become a shinobi, how does he stay out of an asyum and jail? Tell me Jiraiya, HOW?"

Jiraiya sat there, puzzled and scared as he stared at his old sensei. However he couldn't deny the facts that stared at him straight in the face. In all reality, Naruto should have never become a shinobi, and he should have been locked up or terminated years ago. Yet he wasn't in an asylum, or a grave and he was a shinobi, but how? The answer, Jiraiya realized, was standing in front of him.

"You?" he asked in wonderment, his finger pointed at Sarutobi.

"That's right," Sarutobi stated, "me,"

"B-But how? Why?" Jiraiya asked. "You're the hokage, your job is to protect the village from people like Naruto!" Jiraiya exclaimed.

Hiruzen raised an eyebrow at that. "Are you saying you'd have preferred Naruto to be killed?" he asked lowly. Jiraiya shook his head no furiously and asked, "How did you do it though? Surely the council must have protested and tried to get rid of him, right?" asked the toad sage.

Sarutobi gave a grim chuckle as he walked back to his desk and sat down. "It wasn't easy, I will tell you that much," he murmured, "I had to constantly remind the council that Naruto never murdered anyone, he merely defended himself, of course there were some deaths that couldn't be called anything but murder" he sighed, "Next, the victims who survived had to be taken care of, have their memories repressed so more civilians wouldn't go looking to exact revenge, of course not all of the survivors remained the same after the attacks," Sarutobi said as he made a swirling gesture next to his ear.

"They went insane?" Jiraiya guessed.

"Some did, others committed suicide and the rest are mere hollows of what they once were, getting your legs blown off at the kneecap can do that, and that's probably the least horrible thing he's done to civilians who tried to attack him," the hokage stated, "Tell me Jiraiya, have you ever seen a man hanging from a hook by his own tongue with all of his toes and fingers skinned to the bone?" asked the hokage.

Jiraiya only shook his head no.

"Have you ever met a man whose eyes were ripped out and replaced with glass orbs, then those same glass orbs shattered while still inside the sockets?" asked Sarutobi, "How about three men all tied together by the neck with barbed wire with their hands joined together by sharpened sticks?"

Jiraiya swallowed some bile in his throat at that, "And these are the survivors?" he asked.

"Yes, but none of them remember who did it, they do remember certain pains and someone's laugh but as for who did it? Nothing," Sarutobi stated, "As for how I got him to be instated as a shinobi," here he paused and pulled open one of his desk drawers, Reaching in, the old man pulled out a file labeled 'Uzumaki, Naruto' "Take a look at this file and you can see why he's a shinobi,"

Puzzled, Jiraiya took a look inside and what he saw surprised him greatly. The file contained details of Naruto's techniques, abilities, chakra levels and so on and so forth. After reading through it, Jiraiya could only look at his sensei in amazement.

"He can really do all this?" he asked.

Sarutobi nodded. "He can walk through shadows and appear in virtually any place he wishes, his healing factor makes him nearly indestructible and his intelligence rivals that of a Nara master strategist. He knows how to mess with a person's head, he's completely ruthless with his enemies and a damn good interrogator," Sarutobi clasped his hands together and rested them on his desk, "Couple this with a powerful summoning contract, the fact that he's a walking squad and he has the power of a demon at his disposal and a fair knowledge of jutsu, well, connect the dots for your self," Sarutobi stated.

Jiraiya frowned slightly, "So they let him become a shinobi because he could become legendary with all he's got in his arsenal," the man stated.

"There's one other reason," Sarutobi said softly, stopping Jiraiya from leaving. The white haired man turned to see his sensei's eyes covered by the traditional hokage hat and a pipe lit and clasped between his lips. "I made Naruto a shinobi for two other reasons besides what I've told you, and both were from different emotions,"

"What are they?" asked the toad summoner.

"First, it was out of guilt, I made him one because that's what he wanted and because I felt I owed him that much," Srutobi paused to take a few puffs, "The second reason is because a person like Naruto needs a purpose, a focus if you will, without one, he would most likely destroy this village," he stated gravely.

Jiraiya stared at him with slightly fearful curiosity, "And what emotion was that reason linked to?" he asked.

Sarutobi lifted his head ever so slightly and stared at Jiraiya with one eye. The lone eye of the fire shadow gazed at his student with the utmost seriousness and grim truth.

"Fear," he whispered.

**Chuunin Exam Stadium, Day of the Finals**

The village was a buzz with excitement and energy as everybody rushed towards the large gray stadium where the final exams would be held. It was built like any other stadium except with some higher walls to protect the spectators from any jutsu or weapons. Standing tall and proud was most of the final contestants, the genin that would fight for the title of chuunin. However two boys were missing, one being Naruto Uzumaki and the other was Sasuke Uchiha. This was not lost upon the spectators, nor the people seated in the hokage box.

"Hmm, it seems the Uchiha has yet to arrive, same for the other boy, what was his name again?" inquired the Kazekage seated next to Hiruzen. The wind shadow wore the standard robes of any kage but with a green trim white robe and a white three-pointed hat with the kanji for wind on it. However another difference was that he wore a face-mask, leaving only his eyes barely visible.

Sarutobi merely shrugged and spoke, "They both share a sensei who is constantly tardy, and it wouldn't surprise me if they are a little late," stated the old man casually. "I'm surprised though," he began, watching with a phantom smirk as his fellow kage's hand twitched ever so slightly, "Why would you be interested in them? Shouldn't you be more interested in seeing how strong your own children have become?" asked Sarutobi in an innocent and curious voice.

Without missing a beat the Kazekage chuckled lightly and said, "I have the utmost confidence in Kankuro and Gaara, but it's such a shame my daughter couldn't make it to the finals," the man shrugged lightly, '"Besides, other than the one who beat Tenten, that Uzumaki boy and the Uchiha are said to be very strong for their age, hell, I can't mention either of their names without someone either shivering in fear or grinning in pride," he finished.

Sarutobi just smiled and nodded lightly, _'Well played my old student, well played'_ thought Sarutobi as he looked back onto the arena. The proctor had just introduced himself and asked that all contestants besides Hinata and Naruto leave the field. The demonic psycho had yet to show yet.

"Would Naruto Uzumaki please kindly get your ass down here!" yelled Genma, the proctor. There was silence, but in the distance, a muffled boom could be heard. However, it was ignored by the majority of people except for a red haired woman seated next to a purple haired kunoichi.

Hinata smirked and arrogantly flipped her hair over her shoulder, "Ha! Seems like the freak dropped out!" she declared. The crowd started to murmur in agreement but two very devious females couldn't keep the grins off their faces as they mentally counted down.

'_5… 4… 3…'_

Genma sighed and was about to call the match when he heard a sound. It was a distant sound, and hard to make out, but slowly it got louder and louder. Soon he started to hear… a battle yodel?

"Yodelaldayodalooo!" yodeled the voice loudly causing everyone to look up and see a blur with smoke coming off it, hurtling like a missile towards the arena floor.

"DATTEBAYO!" screamed the blur before colliding with the ground. The sound was like that of thunder, and the shockwave shook the entire structure to its foundation. A giant cloud of smoke filled the arena, causing many to cough and squint to see what the hell landed.

As the smoke cleared, there laid the mangled remains of what looked like Naruto Uzumaki. It looked like he had broken everything in his body. His elbows were snapped inwards while the fingers on his right hand were all crippled and broken. His legs seemed busted at the knees and his left ankle was facing the wrong way. His front was on the ground, but Naruto's head was completely twisted around, a maniac grin on his face as well as a pair of broken goggles, the left glass being shattered and the right being cracked.

People could only stare in surprise at the apparently dead corpse, however the silence was broken by the huff of a certain girl.

"Hmph, seems like I win anyway," Hinata commented dryly, "Proctor call the match," she stated while walking away.

Genma sighed, "Winner is-" he was cut off by a rather horrible sound though. One many a shinobi and civilian knew with horror.

It was the laughter of the broken, the laughter of Naruto Uzumaki.

Hinata whirled around and with shocked eyes watched as Naruto laughed, still very much alive. With sickening snaps and pops, the boy's arms straightened out and flexed a couple times before grabbing the legs and yanking them back into correct position. Then, the feet snapped back into place, all the while, Naruto continued laughing.

Slowly the body began to rise, the front of it facing Hinata but the head still twisted backwards.

Naruto slowly brought his hands up to grab his head. Slowly, with pops and snaps of sinew and bone being set back in place, the head was returned to its proper position with Naruto grinning wolfishly at Hinata, his head slightly tilted to the side and his demonic eyes boring holes into her own calm lavender ones.

For a time they just stared at each other while the entire stadium was overcome with absolutely terrified shock, sans a few people of course.

Up in the stands where the genin, both competing and non-competing, a good portion couldn't believe their eyes_. 'That's… That's just not possible!'_ thought a completely petrified Shikamaru, and it showed on his face. Chouji dropped his chips in shock and half chewed food fell out of his gaping mouth. Neji was mildly impressed while Lee could only look on in amazement, thinking that if he had that ability, he'd be healed by now and training once more. Ino and Sakura had long since vacated the area and were now hurling their guts out in the restroom. Kiba was trembling while Akamaru relived himself on top of his master's head.

Tenten on the other hand pouted slightly, "Nii-san's such a show off," she muttered under her breath.

Near the kage booth Zabuza chuckled slightly. His outfit hadn't changed much at all except his pants now had forest camo instead of the grey and white and of course the Konoha headband on his head. "Kid sure knows how to make an entrance. Haku, whose wardrobe had changed into that of a Konoha hunter nin's, merely nodded her masked face.

"Amazing!" breathed the 'Kazekage', "I've never seen someone do that before, just what is he?" asked the robed man.

"He's Naruto Fucking Uzumaki!" shouted a voice causing the two leader's to snap their heads to the side and see a rather interesting group heading their way. This group was none other than Naruto's familiars, Kyuubi in human form and Anko.

"Hey Ojii-san! Mind if we watch from here?" asked Ko from atop Senso's shoulder. The hokage merely shrugged and the group turned their attention to the field, where Genma had officially announced the beginning of the match.

Hinata took up a Jyuuken stance and glared at Naruto, who was absently cleaning his ears.

Hinata scowled at her opponent, assessing on how best to take him out. She watched her opponent carefully, assessing what skills she knew he had and what else he could possibly do.

"If you plan on staring me to death, you may want to switch doujutsu, try the laser eye one or maybe the one that makes you look less like a bitch!" Naruto shouted at the girl, getting a couple gasps and giggles from the audience.

Hinata frowned at this and activated her clan's coveted bloodline. The veins around her eyes strained till they were visible to everyone while the hazy outline of a pupil appeared in her eyes.

"Don't toy with me, trash," she stated.

"Trash am I?" asked Naruto with a grin, "Well they one man's trash is another's treasure but a bitch will always be a bitch," Naruto shot back with a grin. This time almost every jaw in the stadium dropped except for one group in the Kage box.

"HA! Suck on that Hyuuga bitch!" Anko shouted with Senso and Kyuubi nodding in agreement. Chie chuckled while waving his fan. Kuro just rolled his eyes, though no one saw.

"Yeah! Suck it bitch!" Ko shouted happily then he turned to look at Senso, "What's a bitch and what does it mean to suck it?" he asked with childish innocence.

The group froze while Chie grinned. "Well Ko-"

"Don't even think about corrupting him Ero-Chie!" shouted Anko and Kyuubi smashing their fists into his head.

Ko blinked in confusion and was about to ask again when Senso clapped a hand over the child's mouth, "You're too young to know boy," he deadpanned.

Back in the arena, Hinata was livid and decided enough was enough. With impressive speed, the heiress closed the distance between them and shot an open palm towards Naruto's heart. However, the demon boy easily dodged the attack, his body from the waist down becoming a black mass of shadow.

Slightly surprised, Hinata shut down her Byakugan, as the sudden flux of chakra had blinded her. This allowed Naruto to quickly back hand her away from him with a laugh.

"Strike one!" he declared.

Growling, Hinata dashed back at him, palms aglow. Quickly she struck for his shoulder, chest and stomach in an upward traveling combo, but alas, Naruto weaved through it all with ease. Once again he backhanded her away.

"Strike two!" he declared.

Growing angered, Hinata activated her Byakugan and went for one of her clans best and most famous attacks. Charging forward she feinted to strike, but luckily pivoted so she was behind Naruto.

"You're within my field of Divination," spoke Hinata clearly. "Eight Trigrams! Sixty Four Palms!" she shouted out and thus began her assault on one Naruto Uzumaki.

"Two palms!" she called, attempting to strike Naruto. However the boy dodged the two palms.

"Four palms!" she shouted, hitting Naruto only once but she mentally grinned.

"Eight palms!" He only dodged five.

"Sixteen palms!" Naruto barely dodged three this time.

"Thirty-two palms!" He only dodged one.

"Sixty four palms!" Naruto thought one word.

'_Fuck'_

Deactivating her bloodline, Hinata leapt back with a satisfied smirk on her face and watched with glee as Naruto's body slammed into the ground. Turning the young heiress looked towards Genma, "Proctor. Now you-" however she was cut off when a bullet grazed her cheek. Surprised she looked to see Naruto, standing once more.

"Nice try princess," he boasted, "But you'll have to do better than that!"

Hinata growled in annoyance. "How are you still standing?" she demanded.

Naruto laughed at her, "I've got more chakra than I know what to do with, so close them off all you want, I'll just keep getting back up!" he shouted while flipping her the bird.

This infuriated Hinata. "Lets see you get up from this!" she declared as she rushed towards him. Naruto however had different ideas.

Going through a few hand seals, Naruto inhaled deeply. He waited, gathering as much chakra as he needed and when the Hyuuga was halfway to him he released a fireball of extreme proportions. Instead of dodging it, Hinata just ran straight towards it.

"What the hell?" Anko shouted, "What idiot runs straight into a fireball like that without some kind of flame retarded suit?" she asked.

"I think the word you want is retardant," Chie stated, only to get knocked into the ground by the woman.  
"No talking, pervert!" she yelled while stomping him into the dirt. Feeling that justice was served, the interrogator got back in time to see just why Hinata hadn't dodged.

"This gives a whole new definition to the term, 'Smoking hot Babe'," Anko deadpanned.

And indeed it did because Hinata took Naruto's attack and turned it against him ina most interesting way. Once she leapt out of the fire, the grey haired boy barely dodged Hinata's flaming palm strike. Many in the stands were shocked at what they saw because Hinata Hyuuga was literally on fire, or to be more accurate, was wearing a shroud of flames.

Naruto laughed as he got back on his feet, "Now things are getting fun!" With that, Naruto launched himself at Hinata, uncaring for the searing flames that she sent out to intercept him. Laughing, the demon boy dodged and weaved through the flames and soon reached the center of the firestorm. With a howl of glee, Naruto allowed his hands to form into their demonic forms and went for a slash towards her eyes.

Hinata however leaned back and followed through, going into a back handstand and striking Naruto's chin with her foot. Righting herself once more, Hinata took one step forward and thrust both her hands forward, palms facing Naruto. With an explosion, Naruto was sent flying back and landed in a heap.

"Seems like she's almost mastered it," Senso murmured under his breath. Unbeknownst to him, a similar conversation was taking place in the VIP booth.

"Father, what was that technique Ane-sama used?" asked young Hanabi Hyuuga, younger sister of Hinata Hyuuga and the spitting image of the Hyuuga personality. On the surface she was emotionless, calm, intelligent and perfectly stoic. She wore simple clothing, a blue V-neck shirt with a mesh blouse underneath and simple shorts of a dull blue with simple sandals upon her feet.

A man of moderate height and wearing the robes of the Hyuuga clan head glanced at her with the white blank eyes of most Hyuuga before focusing back on the fight. "It is a somewhat advanced move of Jyuuken, however it is far from completion," he stated.

"What do you mean not completed? That seemed like a pretty powerful attack for being unfinished," Tenten pointed out to her teammate.

Neji merely shook his head, his hate filled eyes never straying from his cousin's form. "That move requires far more chakra behind it, her control is perfect as is the manipulation required but she lacks the power to perform it," he stated.

"And what exactly is it called?" Anko asked Senso. "She called it-"

"Gentle Step, Twin Lion Fists," muttered Hinata under her breath; internally berating herself for the fact she had yet to fully master it while her fire shorud slowly vanished. "Now are you going to stay down and accept your place like the filth you are or are you going to get up and try again?" Hinata asked the prone form of Naruto.

Naruto just chuckled as he drunkenly got to his feet, stumbling slightly while his head remained bowed. The boy's clothing was in tatters; the soles of his shoes had melted in the heat from the attack, his pants were burnt to shorts and his legs were covered in angry red marks and scorch marks. His vest had been completely obliterated revealing his chest and arms, which were equally damaged like his legs. Not even his glove had survived the attack.

Naruto slowly lifted his head, his yellow eyes twinkling dangerously as he grinned. However Hinata took a step back in fright, not at his eyes or grin but at the right side of his face had been scorched off and was slowly healing. "You know, I really don't like getting burned, messes up my complexion and dries out the skin," he stated nonchalantly as his cheek slowly reformed.

Hinata frowned as her opponent refused to stay down. "Why do you keep getting up? You have no chance of beating me," she stated.

Naruto laughed as his face finished healing. Leaning down the boy tossed his shoes off and hopped on the balls of his feet. "Because where's the fun in giving up?" he asked "If I just gave up then what? Roll over and die? That's boring!" he shouted before whipping out his gun from god knows where and firing a youki infused bullet at her.

Hanata saw it and stepped to the side, completely unaware of the explosion that launched her forwards. Surprised, she could only watch as Naruto punched her dead in the face, sending her back once more and slamming and rolling across the ground.

Furious Hinata rose and rushed towards Naruto, her palms aglow with chakra. With a delighted grin, Naruto rushed to meet her and soon the two were furiously trading blows.

After about three minutes the two broke apart, Hinata with her chest heaving and several tears in her jacket while Naruto had chakra burns all over his torso. Annoyed that he still hadn't fallen Hinata decided to go for a little psychological warfare.

"You do realize fighting me is pointless right?" she asked.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Oh just shut up, you pathetic little girl," he said in exasperation. "I get it, you 're strong and I'm weak, blah, blah, blah,"

Hinata growled and went to strike Naruto but he easily stopped her. "I mean no matter what you do, nothing will change, _jinchuuriki,"_ she whispered the last part. Naruto quirked an eyebrow as his smile diminished in size.

"What are you talking about?" he asked curiously. Hinata broke away and channeled chakra into her hands, causing them to glow blue.

"I mean, you'll always be hated," she stated, "No one will miss you when you die, they won't acknowledge you for your deeds, nor will they ever accept you,"

Naruto stared at her his face going blank. Hinata continued to speak, slowly approaching him as she spoke, "You're nothing more than a tool at best, and a container at the least," she was nearly in front of him now. "The entire village looks forward to your funeral and those who deem themselves your friends," here she glanced into the stands, making Naruto turn his eyes towards the faces of those close to him.

Everyone watched with confusion and suspense as Hinata spoke and waited to see just how the resident psycho would react. However Naruto did nothing but stare into the eyes of Anko Mitarashi.

Hinata saw her chance and smirked. With a flash, her hands were covered in flames and in the next instant she thrust both of them forward and slammed them into Naruto's chest.

"Burning fist, BURST!" she exclaimed, and with that, fire and chakra literally ripped through Naruto's body and burst out his back in an explosion of fire, chakra and blood. All the while Naruto had never removed his eyes from that of his hebi-hime.

Anko was shocked but slowly smiled when she saw Naruto wink at her, a smile spreading across his face.

Hinata had a triumphant grin upon her face until she heard the laughing. Like that night so many years ago, it was a soft giggling before it turned into full blown maniacal laughter. Slowly he turned his head to face her again a giant grin on his face and his eyes absolutely filled with madness.

"You really think I care?" he asked laughing. Grabbing her shoulders, Naruto dug his nails into them, letting his claws form while his teeth turned sharp and lengthened. "I couldn't care less for these damn villagers! " here his claws sank into her skin. "Don't you dare think you know anything about me you bitchy little brat!" he screamed slamming his knee into her chin. Hinata landed on her back and on reflex, rolled out of the way of Naruto's heel drop.

"You're a demon! This village, this country, this entire world will never accept you!" she shouted at him while getting back on her feet.

"I'd rather be a demon than some hate filled little brat!" he shot back while launching several bullets at her. She dodged them but was unprepared for the slash that Naruto scored along her front. With a growl she slammed a palm into him and expelled more of her fire infused chakra, launching him away.

"And what would you know of hate! If I know nothing of you then you know nothing of me!" she shot back.

Naruto laughed at that, "On the contrary, I know exactly why you are the way you are!" he replied happily. "Ya see, when I learned you were my opponent I had some friends of mine dig up a little dirt about you. Had them find out your fears, fighting style, techniques hell, they even found out about your little S&M fetish!" he shouted causing many people to blush or sputter in surprise and embarrassment. There were also a good number of people who passed out from blood loss due to nosebleeds. Unsurprisingly, Chie was among them before he leapt back to his feet and began scribbling away in his notebook.

Hinata was bright red at this and pissed beyond all belief at the revealing of her secret perversion. Summoning a shroud of flames Hinata leapt at Naruto. "I'M GOING TO TURN YOU INTO ASH!" she roared. When she was about halfway, the girl started concentrating a large amount of her fire and chakra to her right palm. When she was within reach, she thrust forward with a cry of "Burning Fist! Hell's Breath!"

It was an explosion of fire that none had ever seen before. The Uchiha fireball jutsu would be nothing compared to this attack and there would be many a dragon who would be in awe of such a flame. Yes the power and heat forced out of this technique was incredible, but the question to be asked, was it enough to stop Naruto.

Hinata panted heavily as she stared into the flames, thinking there was no way anyone could have survived that attack. She had put almost every bit of chakra she had left into that attack and she knew for a fact that her hand was useless and would need medical attention soon. She started to smirk when she saw nothing appear but her eyes widened in horror when she heard it.

Laughter.

Everyone couldn't believe their ears as the laughter echoed all around the stadium, filling everyone with a sense of either pride, fear or disbelief that a human could live through that, shinobi or not! However when the flames died, everyone soon understood that a human didn't live through that attack.

A demon lived through that attack.

Horns black as night curled up from his forehead, poking through the long and shaggy mane of grey hair whose tips were akin to that of dried blood. Smoke wreathed and danced off of the earthy red skin while a spade and whip like tail weaved back and forth behind the figure. However the face was what scared Hinata the most. White teeth sharp as glass and blades coupled with eyes that had slit pupils, eerie yellow irises and blood red sclera. Hinata took a step back in fear as she eyed the demon in front of her.

"**Like I said, I don't like being burned,"** Naruto said with a grin, **"It messes up my complexion,"** he cracked his knuckles and neck before dashing forward and grabbing Hinata by her neck.** "I'm ending this, but first, I think it's time you learned of the pain Neji experienced in his fight with you,"** he laughed. Hinata's eyes showed confusion before Naruto's tail came forward; it's tip dripping in blood. Slowly it came forward and rested against the girl's forehead. **"Empathy, empathy put you self in the place of Neji!"** he sang as his tail slowly began drawing something on her forehead. Her confusion turned to fear however when she figured out just what he was doing. She desperately tried struggling to get free of his grip but found she couldn't. Looking down, she saw chains made of shadows had bound her while Naruto just grinned and continued writing. Hinata tried to squirm out of his grasp; tried summoning more chakra to help her break free, but that damnable technique had drained her reservoir of chakra almost completely!

"Release me!" Hinata demanded angrily, "You will let go of me or so help me I will make your life a living hell!" she spat with enough venom to kill a village. Yet Uzumaki didn't listen, and continued to create the seal upon her head a giggle gurgling in his throat as he did. Hinata began to panic now, "If you do not release me, the entire Hyuuga clan will come after you! You won't know a day's rest until you're ashes in the wind!" she threatened.

He was almost done with the seal.

"Unleash me and I'll do whatever you want!" she cried, finally starting to cry as she realized he had no intention of stopping. Up in the stands, Neji was grinning ear to ear at the display.

Naruto laughed as he put the finishing touches on the seal and quickly pushed some chakra into the bloody symbols. With a cry of pain, Hinata felt the seal connect with her mind and knew that she had what no Hyuuga ever wanted.

She had the Caged Bird Seal.

She soon found herself flat on her butt and staring up at the monstrosity known as Naruto.

He laughed as he set his hands in a familiar seal and Hinata closed her eyes, praying and screaming to Kami mentally that he wouldn't do what he was about to do.

"**Crap, I can't do this, not when you have that look on your face,"** complained Naruto, slowly causing Hinata to open her eyes. However they immediately snapped wide when she felt something stick in her neck and something enter her system. Quickly she yanked whatever was in her neck out and looked to see a small syringe, with the remnants of a strange purple liquid. Confused and scared she looked at the smiling face of Naruto and wondered just what the hell he had done to her.

She got her answer when all of her muscles started to tighten in a very, very painful way.

Slowly, Hinata's face muscles started to contort into a hideous grin while her body stiffened till she was immobile, but her muscles were taunt and she felt like if she stretched anymore, they'd literally snap! With fear she looked back to Naruto and saw he had a smile on his face and his hands back into that familiar sign.

"**There! Now that you're smiling, this will make me feel much less guilty!"** he proclaimed with a cackle. With that, the boy pushed chakra to his hands and watched with glee as Hinata tried to scream in pain.

For three minute, he kept his hands like that, and for three minutes, Hinata's world was an endless void of pain. For three minutes, Hinata endured something akin to having her brain electrocuted. For three minutes, her muscles tried to move in order to try and alleviate or fend off the pain, only for several muscles to snap and crack in response. "For three minute, Hinata felt what Neji felt, but on a scale a hundred times worse. Through it all she heard Naruto say.

"**How's it feel girly? How's it feel to be subjugated to a damned seal?"**

When Naruto finally released the technique, Hinata passed out, her muscles still straight and stiff and that grin still on her face, except now she had a more permenant fixture to her body.

On her forehead, she had the brand of the caged bird seal emblazoned into her skin, for countless years to come and even is they healed, they would scar and forever remind her of her defeat against one Naruto Uzumaki.

The stadium was quiet, not a single person said a word, all too shocked and scared of what just happened. It was Genma who finally broke the silence after seeing Naruto walk past him with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Winner, Naruto Uzumaki," declared the jounin. No one cheered except for ten people.

Anko then turned to Kyuubi, "Do you think he knows the remainder of his clothing was burnt away in that last attack?" she asked.

Before Kyuubi could reply she was interrupted by the loud cry of "Who the fuck stole my pants?"

The hokage palmed his face and sighed. _'This is going to be a very long day'_ he thought sadly.

**A/N: HaHHA! Finished with Naruto and Hinata's match up! Also I GOT MY FIRST FLAME! THEY ACTUALLY CALLED MY STORY PATHETIC! YAAAAY! Now I know I'm an author! Break out the jalapeños and crazy straws! Sancho! Stop humping that cactus and bring me a midget drag queen from Zanzibar! Es fiesta tiempo! **


	13. Tenten vs Shikamaru

**Laughter of the Broken**

"Speaking"

'_Thinking'_

"**Demon/Summons speaking"**

'_**Demon/Summons thinking'**_

**A/N: Woo hoo! Ok time to write a few more fight scenes! First however, Gekkokage, please don't shove a rattlesnake up Sancho's ass, his wife needs that thing! Second, I think I should tell you I'm white, I mean seriously white, my ancestry is small bits of German and Irish while the rest is just Great Britain English, so my Spanish isn't that great, I've only got two years of it under my belt. Oh and Sancho doesn't need your sombrero anymore Gekko! That midget drag queen from Zanzibar made him a new one out of… something… I think it might be skin… but I shudder to think from what… Anyway, LETS GO, GO, GO!**

"That match was rather… interesting," the 'Kazekage' stated to his companion. "Is he always that… vicious?" asked the disguised snake.

"Only to those who are his enemies," replied the leader of the leaf.

"Yet was that really necessary? I mean, was his opponent not a fellow Leaf ninja and heiress to the Hyuuga clan to boot?" he asked.

However before Sarutobi could answer, a certain apathetic familiar beat him to it, "Probably not, but he has his reasons, lasting wie sie sind" stated Kuro, his masked face turning to look at the two Kages. "Then again, he might have done it just to do it," with that, the clone turned his head back towards the arena, once again assuming his silent vigil.

Back down in the contestant's area, Naruto had just reached the seating area, where he soon found himself to be the center of attention.

Seeing the uneasy and rather scared looks of his fellow genin, sans that of Gaara, the demon child glanced down at himself then back at them and asked. "What? I've got pants on," he stated. Seeing as they were still staring at him, the grey haired teen used his tail and scratched his chin with the tip, his eyes narrowing in thought. "Maybe they were just too shocked by my extremely sexy nakedness that they can't take their eyes off me?" he muttered aloud.

Tenten thwacked him upside the head and said, "It's because you look like a devil straight from Hell," she deadpanned.

"That and your rather brutal victory over Hinata-sama might have a part of it," Neji stated with no small amount of satisfaction in his voice. "I must say, I had my doubts but you are truly a force to be reckoned with Uzumaki-sama," Neji said with a bow.

Naruto laughed and flicked the Hyuuga branch member on the forehead with a clawed red finger. "Please, it was my pleasure," he stated. Surprised the pale eyed boy looked up and locked eyes with the smiling Uzumaki, "Besides, I still have to remove that seal from your head, and it promises to be a very painful experience," here his smile became a bit malicious, "And you're the only one who's going to get hurt,"

Neji straightened himself and merely met the other genin's eyes with his own calm and collected gaze, "I will gladly go through any amount of torture to be free of my bondage," he stated with grim absolution.

Naruto merely gave a dark chuckle, "If that's what you wish, who am I to stop you?" he asked dramatically. Tenten merely rolled her eyes at her adopted brother's antics.

"Just know that if you kill any of my teammates, I'll decapitate you and use your head in a ventriloquist act," she stated. This caused the genin to eye her strangely but she didn't really care. Naruto just waved her off and rested his arms against the railing, waiting for the next fight.

Genma glanced towards the stands and waited for a lull in the audience before he spoke, "The next match will be between Sasuke Uchiha and Gaara no Sabaku, will both contestants please enter the arena?" he called.

The redhead instantly appeared in a swirl of sand, his arms crossed and his face blank with apathy, but those who knew what to look for saw the barely restrained maniacal glee in his eyes. However, that soon turned to anger when he saw his opponent was not there. Genma waited a couple minutes then frowned, "Sasuke Uchiha please come down to the arena or you will be disqualified!" he called somewhat irritated.

Up in the Kage booth Sarutobi frowned and said, "It appears Sasuke will have to forfeit this one," he spoke.

"Oh come now, many people came to see the Uchiha and my son fight, to disqualify him now would disappoint a lot of people here," the Kazekage told his companion.

Sarutobi glanced at him and replied, "Be that as it may, I cannot show favoritism towards a single ninja,"

"Oh come on Monkey Man, the least you could do is give duck ass a couple minutes," said a voice above the old man. Surprised and shocked, the old man looked up to see Naruto perched on the back of his high backed chair, grinning like a maniac and his demonic features on display for all to see, except he now had his glove back on and his vest, but for some reason he decided to go barefoot… then again, his clawed feet would probably rip anything on his feet to shreds. "Heyo! Can I bother you for a cup of sugar or perhaps you could spare a glass of hog's blood? Either or will suffice," he said

"Aniki!" Before anyone could react, Ko had tackled Naruto off of the chair and onto the floor. "You were so awesome in that fight!" chattered the kid as he sat on his older brother's shoulders. "I mean when you got hit with that fireball I thought, 'Holy crap! Aniki's going to be served extra crispy with barbeque sauce!' then you came out of it and I was like 'Yay! Aniki won't be served to some hungry Akamichi!' then when you grabbed her…" and on and on the little child chattered about how awesome his brother was, until of course Senso got annoyed.

"Ko, we get it," he said, but he kept talking. "Ko, seriously, you can stop talking," stated the short tempered clone, his eye starting to twitch. Still he prattled on. Senso finally snapped.

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" Senso shouted while konking the childish Ko on the head. For a moment there was pause then Ko's eyes widened and became extremely watery. He started to sniffle and Senso soon began panicking.

"Oh crap," he muttered. Ko's blue eyes began to fill with tears and some muffled sobs could start to be heard. Panicking, Senso checked to see if 'they' had noticed yet and he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that 'they' hadn't heard him yet.

"Ok, Ko I'm sorry," Senso said, but it had no effect. Growing a little more panicked the warrior said, "look please, please, PLEASE for the love of Kami don't cry!" he begged. For a moment, Ko stopped and stared at Senso with the kicked dog look and for a minute, Senso thought he was in the clear.

Oh how foolish our little familiar is!

Inhaling deeply, Ko released a cry that only a child could make, one that baby animals made when in distress. One that always attracted a very angry and very protective mother.

Or in this case, two females who were mother equivalents.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" screamed Anko and Kyuubi as they immediately rushed to the crying child's side. Immediately the two started to fuss over the boy, trying to soothe him and doing what mothers do to console their upset children. Anko then rounded on Senso and glared at him with anger only women can conjure.

"What did you do to Ko?" Anko asked, leaving Kyuubi to take care of said child. The war like clone knew that he was screwed, knew that if he kept silent or talked, he was still screwed. So he merely sighed, blindfolded himself, and took out a cigar. Lighting it, he waited for the inevitable.

Anko gained a few tic marks then said, "Fine if that's the way you want it…" reaching behind her Anko withdrew the one thing Senso feared the most.

A big ass fucking rock.

"Senso, do you know what this is?" asked Anko, holding the giant rock over head.

The familiar lifted his blindfold and gulped before stuttering, "A-A b-big rock?"

Anko merely shook her head, "No Senso, THIS. IS. SPARTA!" she screamed, with that, she Spartan kicked a screaming Senso into the arena and threw the rock in afterwards. Senso landed with a thud and had just enough time to scream "MOMMY!" before being crushed by the fucking big ass rock.

Groaning, everyone watched as he clawed himself out from under the rock but before he was halfway out, Anko dived bomb the his head, heels first, and Anko had somehow put on stiletto high heels in the span of two minutes.

"Oh no, we're not done, not by a long shot mister 'I-like-to-hit-small-defenseless-children'" Anko stated.

"Ko's not defenseless… " was Senso's muffled response.

"Silence! The condemned are not allowed to talk!" she barked, grabbing a mallet and smashing Senso's face in.

For a while, everyone watched Anko deliver divine woman justice but eventually Naruto turned to Sarutobi," Any who! I say we just do the other matches until Mr. Emo gets here! What do you say?" he asked with what he thought was a charming smile when in reality; it would make little children cry and shit their pants.

"Erm, perhaps I could but-," before the slightly on edge leader could protest he felt a sudden weight on his lap. Looking down the man saw Ko using a move only children can pull off, a move every person fears, a move that no one outside another child can resist!

It was the dreaded… PUPPY DOG EYES!

As Sarutobi gazed into those soulfull, innocent blue eyes, he could already feel himself falling under their spell. _'No! Must! Resist! Puppy Dog Eyes! You're a kage damn it! Fight it!_' he screamed in his head_. _Slowly but surely, he started to resist the child's charm but then Ko started to talk.

"Pwease don't disquawify Sawskay. It would be mean and evwyone would be sad if you did," begged Ko in his best baby voice, hands clasped perfectly under his chin while his lower lip quivered in the most adorable pout imaginable.

For his part, the old fire shadow lasted a solid twenty seconds before sighing and bowing his head in defeat, shoulders slumped he said, "Fine, we'll move on to the next match," grumbled the hokage. Ko gave a cheer and hugged the old man before dashing off ro stand next to Kyuubi.

"Thanks monkey man I-" Naruto was cut off by a certain hand crushing his wind pipe. When he looked to see who it was, he saw the hokage staring at him with a strange look. His face was hidden in the shadow of his hat, but his eyes and mouth were giving off a creepy white glow that flowed outwards like wispy smoke.

"I've done you a favor brat, now I want two things," the Sandaime said in a cold, dark voice filled with power. "First, STOP," here he emphasized by squeezing extra hard, causing the grey haired demon's eyes to bulge and his face to darken ,"calling me monkey man. Second," here he brought Naruto close to his face and inhaled deeply,

"STOP THOSE TWO"S ANTICS AND BRING SASUKE UCHIHA BACK HERE!" screamed the man, practically causing Naruto's eyes to pop out of his head. "Do I make myself clear, Uzumaki?" he growled.

"Cry…Crystal… sir…" gasped the hanyou, his face now purple and his eyes and face bulged comically and now a ripe plum purple.

Good," nodded the hokage. "Now… GET GOING!" with that, he launched Naruto at the dustcloud that was Anko beating the crap out of Senso. When he collided, there was a massive explosion and for whatever reason, this explosion catapulted Naruto, Anko, and Senso high into the sky.

"We're blasting off again!" the trio screamed as they faded away into the star and for a moment, they became a shining star then vanished.

Sarutobi stared at it for a moment, then face palmed, "Why can't my ninja be normal?" he lamented. Signaling to an ANBU the hokage said, "Start the next fight, we'll wait for the Uchiha to show up, but if he isn't here by the time the other matches have finished, disqualify him," he paused then got a wicked grin, "and if he's disqualified, replace all of Kakashi's Icha Icha with yaoi and have Sasuke learn Gai's genjutsu," he ordered with a slight cackle.

The ANBU nodded and quickly shushinned down to Genma and relayed the hokage's orders.

Hearing the orders, the jounin groaned in annoyance. "Due to unforeseen events, the match of Sasuke Uchiha vs Gaara no Sabaku has been postponed," the crowd erupted into cries of anger and confusion at that, but the spiking of the proctor's chakra quickly silenced them, "In light of this, we will be proceeding on to the next match, so will KANKURO no Sabaku and Shino Aburame please enter the arena." Genma announced.

Scowling, Gaara left the arena while Shino and Kankuro entered. As both contestants entered, they immediately locked eyes. They stopped a good distance away from each other and seeing as how both were tensed and ready, Genma declared the start of the match.

However when Genma left, the two just continued to stare at each other. They stared and stared and stared some more, neither flinching neither moving a single muscle. Thhen a single voice arose from the crowd.

"Shino!"

Distracted, everyone turned to see a man who was dressed in the same attire as Shino but he had a pencil mustache, a gourd on his back and wrap around sunglasses.

"Son, I give you permission to use _it_" spoke the man.

Kankuro scowled at that, "What the hell does he mean by-" he was cut off however by the sound of a zipper. Turning, the painted puppeteer saw that Shino had opened his high collar shirt leaving his mouth and front visible. The Suna ninja also noted that his enemy seemed to be gathering a large amount of energy.

"Do it son," Shibi whispered.

"**Shoop da whoop**," Shino declared.

Kankuro was about to ask what the hell that meat when Shino shouted in a large and deep voice, "I'MA FIRIN MAH LAZAR!" then he opened his mouth wide and out shot forth a beam of energy that was accompanied by a loud "BLAAAA!"

The laser beam shot from Shino's mouth lasted but an instant, but in that instant, an entire wall of the stadium was utterly destroyed as were several buildings behind it. Surprisingly, Kankuro was still alive but his clothing and puppet was disintegrated.

The puppet user coughed once before falling flat on his face. Shino merely gave a satisfied hmm and zipped his coat back up. Slowly, the bug/laser user left the arena while Genma announced his victory. Once he was back in the stands with his fellow genin he noticed that they were all staring at him with slightly amazed looks. So, being the boss he was, Shino merely adjusted his sunglasses and turned to watch the stadium. He watched as the medics came and tended to the fallen form of Kankuro, all discussing what had happened.

"His body has nearly been burnt to a crisp by energy," stated the head medic.

"What kind? Like, solar, electrical, chakra..?" here he strayed off when he saw the head medic shake his head and looked him straight in the eyes.

"No it was just…. Pure… energy!" he stated with his face getting steadily more dramatic. When they left Genma sighed before calling out, "Will Tenten of Konoha and Dosu of Oto please enter the arena?" he asked while pinching his temples.

Tenten gave a whoop of joy before jumping into the arena, a grin on her face as she took up a ready stance, hands already reaching for her kunai and shuriken pouches. However, the bandaged sound ninja did not enter, but rather, an ANBU jumped in and whispered to Genma a second time.

The proctor's eyes widened slightly, but it was only for an instant. He gave a curt nod to the masked ninja before shouting, "Dosu of Oto has forfeited so would Shikamaru Nara please come down to the arena,"

For a moment nothing happened, then there was the sound of Ino yelling at someone, and finally, Shikamaru was thrown from the stands and into the arena, head first.

"Troublesome woman," muttered the black haired genin as he sat up, slowly getting to his feet and dusting off his pants. "Ok, lets get this over with already," stated the Nara.

Genma just sighed and began the match, quickly jumping away. As soon as the match started, Tenten jumped back and unleashed a barrage of kunai and shuriken at her opponent, the metal making a deadly near silent whistle as they almost impaled the Nara. Fortunatly for Shika, he was able to dodge by rolling to the side and returning fire with three of his own kunai.

Tenten just snorted at the incoming projectiles, easily snatching them from the air and firing back, this time she added a jutsu to the mix, "Kage Kunai no Jutsu!" she declared, easily multiplying the three kunai into thirty.

"Kuso!" cursed Shikamaru. Thinking quickly, the boy made a handsign before he was decimated by the throwing knives of Tenten.

When Tenten heard not the sounds of kunai hitting flesh but the sound of it hitting wood she cursed and pulled out another pair of kunai, one in each hand. Her eyes darted around and her senses were sharp, prepared for a sneak attack however she wasn't prepared for the fact that she could no longer move her body.

"What the hell?" she thought aloud, but then she saw the ground and cursed. Her shadow had become much darker and there was a thread of it trailing away from her into some of the bushes that had been provided. _'Damn'_ she thought as the bushes werepushed aside and Shikamaru walked forward, Tenten mirroring his movements.

"Kagemane, success," muttered Shikamaru, slightly smirking.

Tenten grinned at him, "Not quite," she chuckled before disappearing in a poof of smoke. Surprised the Nara had just enough time to duck before being kicked away. Rolling with the blow, Shikamaru got up and stared at Tenten with surprise, or rather, he stared at the rather intimidating weapons in her hands.

At first glance, they appeared to be disks, but when one got closer, it was easy to tell it as no simple disk. The centers were roundish with a hole through the center of them while from the center, three stretched from it for about half a foot before arcing to end in vicious looking scythe like six inch blades. If Shikamaru had to compare it with anything, it would be a Fuma Shuriken but these weapons were smalled, maybe three feet in diameter total. Each one was black with red lines running along the appendages while the blades themselves were a dull grey color. Despite the color, Shikamaru knew those things were razor sharp just by looking at them.

Before Shikamaru could comment on them, Tenten threw the bladed disk at him, but unlike the straight throw he expected, she threw it at a curve which caused the bladed object to fly at Shikamaru's neck from his left side on a perfect beeline for his neck. Once more, the young genius rolled forward and was surprised to see the blade being caught by Tenten, who had not moved from her spot.

Frowning, the boy reached into his pocket and quickly threw down several smoke bombs.

Frowning the girl threw both disks into the cloud of smoke, but instead of coming out, the smoke cleared to show both blades spinning at hyper speeds, dispelling it. Ignoring the slightly awed audience, Tenten cursed as there was no sign of Shikamaru anywhere. With a beckoning gesture, the blades shot back into her waiting hands. Ignoring the amazed looks of the audience the girl searched for her opponent, trying to wheedle out a chakra signature. When something tripped her sixth sense, the girl jumped into the air and looked down to see Shikamaru's shadow following her path, intent on capturing her as soon as she landed.

Cursing, the girl threw both disks away from her just before landing, and while she did try to get out of range, she was unaware of the parachuted kunai above her that cast it's shadow just in front of her. The extending shadow connected with that tiny blip and suddenly burst forward, capturing the weapons mistress.

"Kagemane, success," declared Shikamaru, once again walking forward, this time with a kunai in his hand. "Not bad, but this is checkmate," he smirked. It died when he saw a wolfish grin on her face, one he had seen many a time on Naruto.

"Sorry Shika, but I came to win," she stated. Before he could question it, the boy heard a sound reminiscent of suriken flying through the air, but this had a sharper and seemingly more dangerous pitch.

Turning his head to look over his shoulder, the Nara's eyes widened in alarm as he ducked the projectile. His relief at dodging the weapon was killed when something nailed itself into his back. Shouting in pain and surprise the ninja released his technique.

Reaching behind him, Shikamaru grabbed what had lodged itself into his back and removed the large and obviously sharp object from his back. Bringing it forward he was astonished to see the second disk Tenten had thrown, with one of it's blades red with his blood.

Widening his eyes Shikamaru barel registered the kunai now at his admas apple or the blade tip tickling the base of his neck. "Checkmate goes to me Shika, sorry but you lose," stated a smug voice, wording what he had already realized the second he laid eyes on the bloody throwing weapon in his hand.

He sighed and said, "Yo, proctor, she's get me and I'm basically out of chakra so I give up," he drawled lazily. When Genma announced Tenten the winner, the crowd erupted into cheers, much to the pride of Tenten. She grinned and waved to the audience, bowing and blowing kisses as she milked the attention.

"Yahoo! That's our girl!" Kyubi shouted enthusiastically. Ko was waving victory fans and chanting Tenten's name as he did a victory dance on the edge of the kage box.

"Ten! Ten! Nii-chan! Ten! Ten! Nii-chan!" chanted the childish clone, stopping to pose on every word. Kuro merely clapped his hands slowly while Chie joined Ko in his cheering along with Kyuubi.

"Most unexpected," the Kazekage spoke, "I honestly expected Nara-san to win," he told his fellow kage.

Sarutobi shrugged and said, "She's close to Naruto and the rest up here, I'm not to shocked to see her win, those weapons on the other hand I have never seen,"

"Interesting," murmured the snake.

"Damn, that is one deadly kunoichi!" stated Zabuza from his viewpoint. "She reminds me of you Haku," he stated nonchalantly. Hearing no answer. The bandaged swordsman turned to see that Haku was watching Tenten intently through her mask."Uh, Haku? You listening?" he asked. However he went ignored and sighed. "Something tells me I don't want to know what you're thinking," he mumbled.

If Haku wasn't wearing a mask, Zabuza might have noticed the blush that was on her face. _'Wonder if she'd be willing to spar sometime…'_ thought the ice user, her blush increasing.

When the noise finally died down, Genma stepped forward, "Now will Sasuke Uchiha and Gaara no Sabaku please enter the arena?" Gaara shushined in almost immediately, a mad gleam in his eyes that now freely showed. Apparently that last match had gotten his blood pumping. However there was still no sign of Sasuke. Genma sighed and was about to call again when he heard a distant rumbling sound and then laughter, very familiar laughter. However, it was coming from not above, but below ground!

Curious, Genma kneeled down and listened, before his eyes widened and he leapt away just as whatever was under ground, burst forth in an explosive shower of dust, dirt and rock.

When the dust settled it showed Naruto(in human form), Senso and Anko sitting in a rickshaw cart. Well Naruto and Anko were happily snuggled together under the red canopy while Senso was panting hard from pulling the cart.

"Evil…" he gasped before falling flat on his face.

"Hmm, seems our chauffer has killed himself from exhaustion, Hebi-hime," Naruto stated. Anko hmmed, before grabbing a stick and started to poke Senso with it.

"Ohh…." Moaned the clone in response

"Nope not dead yet, but I hate to see him in pain," Anko said in sympathy, "Here, hand me your gun so I can put him out of his misery,"

And with that, Senso ran straight back to the Kage box and cowered behind Ko.

Anko and Naruto laughed before Genma coughed, they stared back at the expectant jounin with confused faces. "Well?" he asked.

"Well what?" Anko shot back irritably. Couldn't he see she was trying to snuggle with her puddin?

"WHERE'S SASUKE UCHIHA?" he roared back, panting heavily after he did.

Naruto rolled his eyes and looked at him as if her were stupid, "In the trunk, where else would I put my baggage?" he asked. With a wave of his hand, an unlocking sound was heard and then a loud bang coming from the back followed by a large inhale f air.

"Oh sweet Kami!" gasped Sasuke as he breathed fresh air. Shooting a deadly look at Naruto, he silently vowed he would kill him… after Itachi… no, before Itachi… he'd have to make a pros and cons list later.

"Ma, ma, quiet down I'm trying to read in here," Kakashi stated from within the trunk as Sasuke got out. Poking his head out the ninja eye smiled and asked, "So what did I miss?"

"A big ass fucking laser and a pretty good match between Miss Sharp and Pointy and Mr. Smart and Lazy, now get the fuck out of here!" Genma shouted. Immediately the area was vacated except for Sasuke and Gaara who was looking at Sasuke with a bloodthirsty gleam in his black ringed eyes. "The match between Sasuke Uchiha and Gaara no Sabaku begins now! And so help me god if you don't make this a good fight I'm killing you and the writer!" Genma declared before vanishing.

Sasuke looked at his opponent and said two words.

"Fuck me,"

**And that's a wrap! Wait…**

**-Omake-**

"Will Shikamaru Nara and Tenten of Konoha please enter the arena," Genma announced, It was not long before both contestants were staring eah other down. Genma glanced at each one and nodded, "Begin!" he shouted before jumping away.

"If it's all the same with you I'm just going to win this in one move," Tenten stated. Shikamaru cocked an eyebrow and watched carefully as she brought up her hands to the hem of her shirt. What happened next Shikamaru would remember forever.

Tenten yanked her shirt up and flashed Shikamaru, as well as a good portion of the stadium. Let it be known, Tenten didn't wear bras, and that is what ultimately caused Shikamaru to faint from blood loss. Once Genma gained conciousness, he declared Tenten the winner.

Up in the stands Shino nodded sagely before holding up a sign with ten written on it.

**A/N: And that's the wrap! All right then read and review, me and Sancho are going to Canada! Fear for your lives moosies! You are being hunted by Sancho the Indiscriminate humper, Inez the Midget Drag Queen of Zanzibar, and Danasca the Mad! MUAHAHAHAHA!... Better steer clear of Vancouver…**


	14. Author Note

**OK I know it has been forever since I last updated a story, and even longer since I updated Laughter of the Broken but…**

**I. Hate. Writing. This. Fic.**

**There, I said it. It started out great, got pretty damn funny, but it just… it just got fucked up along the way… I don't even remember the plot anymore! I mean, I had the great idea of creating an insane Naruto, one that was a little like the Joker, but in the end I just made an overpowered, underdeveloped, demonic nut-job! I guess all the good reviews about it being funny and awesome got to my head and I wanted that to continue, but I just ended up making… whatever the hell this was. I can't even bring myself to read through it anymore. The entire spur of the moment add-ons, the harem, the jokes, the summons and all while trying to follow cannon and for what? A hilarious couple of chapters with a single lemon, a plot that is virtually nonexistent and a whole bunch of resentment for my own creation, that's what.**

**I'm sorry, but I refuse to continue writing this story and while it's funny, it does not deserve the following or hits it has, not the good reviews either.**

**Although there are bits and pieces in this story that I love, ideas that I'm proud of as well as the jokes I made. The gun was a good idea, I don't give a damn who you are, it's an ace in the hole against a shit load of people who can destroy a village in a matter of hours. The summons were fun as was the idea I had for them. Kuro and his design was awesome as is Ko, not so much Senso and Chie. I stand by the shadow powers as well as giving Tenten some fun toys. I love my demon Naruto design, ugly or not. I love my take on Hinata, because honestly, how many times have you seen her like that? The rest… the rest I hate.**

**I hate how it's a damn borderline crack-fic. I hate the excessiveness of the jokes I put in. I hate how I never explained anything of what happened. I hate how I overpowered Naruto. I hate the whole, dead blue eyes filled with pain and glowing with insanity spiel, seriously what the fuck was I thinking? I hate how half of the ideas in this fic were done on a whim. I hate how there is literally no original plot. I hate that I decided to put in a harem or a pairing in the first place! I just plain HATE this story .**

**I will NOT continue writing this story.**

**I will NOT rewrite this story.**

**I will NOT put this story up for adoption, but you can take it anyway!**

**I WILL however, be keeping this story on the site, if only as a reminder and because people enjoy it.**

**Ja ne.**


End file.
